My Christmas Cupcakes

To start, know dear Reader that nothing I make will be as fancy as what my Ali makes. I love the simple things... that is to say the hacks, the corner-cutting route is the way I tend to go. A dinner party at my house is a lot of hiding the take-out boxes and baby vomit stains on the carpet. Enough about my disgusting home life-

All you need to make these is store bought cake mix, store bought icing cans- I used 2 vanilla, one I dyed red- and packaged ice cream cones. I also used green icing in a can by Betty I think (you should know I talk about major brands like they were girlfriends of mine, Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker etc) and various sprinkles and cinnamon candies. I also used green food color in the cupcake mix.

I thought it would be fun to enlist the help of my husband to decorate... let's just say someone was really into it(me!!) and someone was not(His are the ugly ones).

From Dec2008

From Dec2008

From Dec2008

From Dec2008

From Dec2008

And now you have amazing (if not mildly offensive looking) cupcakes!!

Ali's Kitchen: Swedish Holiday Treats

Happy Holidays!

I am ALL about my [admittedly meager] Swedish heritage this year. I may only be about 1/16, but I know the name of my most recent Swedish ancestor (Maria Pollan, née Larson), so that counts for something, I figure. My Nana, who has had a very tough year, always identified with her Swedish heritage, if not necessarily in the kitchen. It'll be a fun, and for me meaningful holiday exercise to attempt a few traditional Swedish recipes.

A word about Swedish holidays:

St. Lucia's Day
Lussekatter
On the feast day of St. Lucia, little Swedish girls (and Norwegian girls and Danish girls and Italian girls and a bunch of girls) dress up in white gowns with red sashes, wear wreaths with burning candles on their heads (yeah, really) and pass out the Christmas presents. You know this if you, like me, had the American Girl Doll Kirsten Larson, who was a plucky Swedish immigrant in 1854 (or something). Kirsten had a St. Lucia's Day outfit, and I think the outfit even came with a little plastic lussekatt, the saffron bun baked and eaten on St. Lucia's Day night. It all sounds terribly cute until you consider the fact that the wreath with candles is supposed to symbolize the *fire that wouldn't burn St. Lucy after she was sentenced to death*. Isn't that festive? I pulled the below recipe from a website to which I will NOT link, because they had all kinds of typos and it was just generally an "off" recipe, so I had to modify.

Jul/Midwinter
Glögg
The Yule is celebrated on December 24th in Sweden, though it's also tied to the old Germanic pagan festivals related to the Winter Solstice on December 21st. This is the day when Swedes tie one on and really enjoy their version of spiced mulled wine: glögg (pronounced something like "glug"). There are so many various recipes for glögg that you can feel free to assemble the main ingredients and use them in whatever proportions please you best.

Any Swedish Holiday At All
Köttbullar
Swedish. Meatballs. 'Nuff said. Always, always served with lingonberry preserves. Seriously, in Sweden if you try to eat köttbullar without lingonberries? They will arrest you and beat you. I've provided the classic preparation from Fresh Direct, but I'll outline my method, too.

LUSSEKATTER
(Saffron Buns)
INGREDIENTS
1/4 teaspoon saffron threads 1 cup milk 1 tablespoon yeast 1/2 cup sugar 4 ounces (1 stick) unsalted butter 5 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon salt 2 large eggs, beaten 1 beaten egg white for egg wash
PREPARATION
Pound saffron threads to break down strands. (Ali note: Or just tell the people reading your recipe to get saffron powder, jeez.)
In a small saucepan, heat milk to lukewarm.
Mix yeast with 1/4 cup milk and 1 tablespoon sugar. Set aside.
On low heat, melt butter in saucepan with milk. Add crushed saffron. Let cool.
In large bowl, mix together flour salt and remaining sugar.
Stir yeast into cooled milk mixture. Mix into dry ingredients, beating to mix well. Add beaten eggs.
Knead in bowl for 5 - 7 minutes. (Ali note: Kneading in the bowl is somewhat confining. After the eggs are mixed in well, feel free to jump right to your floured board, or counter, as the case may be.) Turn onto floured board and knead another 7 - 8 minutes. (Ali note: If it's sticking to your little fingers, try adding a bit more flour to your board or counter; that’ll mix in and firm up the consistency a little. Conversely, if it's too DRY to stick to your little fingers, sprinkle some water on as you knead 'til it's about the right texture - something like Play-Doh.) (Don't forget to wash your hands before you start this recipe, including under your filthy little fingernails, you scab.)
Put dough in lightly greased bowl, turn to coat all sides, cover and put in warm, draft-free place to rise for about 1 hour.
When dough has risen, knead lightly to push out air and divide into small pieces (about 10-12). (Ali note: Whoever wrote this recipe was high if they thought this amount of dough makes 10-12 of these things, the size of which would cook in 15 minutes. I ended up with closer to 18, and still needed a little longer in the oven.)
Using the hands, roll each small piece into a strip about 8 - 10 inches long. Shape each strip into an 'S' or a figure 8. (Ali note: For authentic look, place a raisin or currant in the dimples of each bun.)
Place on lightly buttered cookie sheets. Cover with clean cloth and let rise again, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.
Preheat oven to 375°F.
When dough has risen, brush lightly with egg white.
Bake in preheated 375° F oven for 15 minutes, or until lightly browned (which was a bit longer than 15 minutes).
Let cool on wire rack.

GLÖGG
(Um... Glögg)
As noted above, you can make glögg in nearly any way you choose. This is my favorite amalgamation:
INGREDIENTS
1 bottle dry red, such as Cabernet Sauvignon
1 cup brandy
3-4 cinnamon sticks
6-8 cloves
1-2 teaspoons ground cardamom (ideally you use 3-4 whole caramom pods, cracked, but good luck finding those in most grocery stores)
1 tablespoon dried orange peel (or the peel of 1 whole orange)
1/3 cup sugar (ideally brown, but if you're scrimping and just have white, go for it!)
Currants or raisings
Almond slivers
PREPARATION
Simple: Heat. On the stove. For at least 45 minutes. Don't let it reach 170 or so (that means keep it just at steaming and below simmering), unless you want nonalcoholic glögg. A clean meat thermometer is handy for this purpose.
Put a small handful of currants (or raisins) and almond slivers at the bottom of each glass.
Pour the glögg into your glasses through a sieve to strain out the cloves and such, and enjoy.

Skål!

KÖTTBULLAR
(Swedish Meatballs)
I made this with 2 lbs. ground beef (you can also use veal with the beef, about 1/3 to 1/2 the total amount of meat; that's how the restaurants usually do it) instead of 1 1/3 lbs., which is what the original recipe called for. Watching *me*, the literature nerd, try to figure out that sort of conversion? Must have been priceless. I had to appeal to my civil engineer father for guidance. This is what he came up with:
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs
1/2 cup milk
1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
1 egg plus 1 egg white
2 lbs. pounds lean ground beef (But for goodness sake, not too lean.)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper (Most recipes call for white pepper, but this one doesn’t differentiate; I used white)
1/2 tsp allspice
1 tbs butter
1 tbs extra-virgin olive oil

PREPARATION (The "real" way)
Soak breadcrumbs in milk for 5 to 10 minutes until the liquid is absorbed.
To a bowl add onion, egg, ground beef, soaked bread crumbs, all spice, salt and pepper.
Mix all the ingredients together with your hands and shape the meat mixture into small balls, less than an inch in diameter. If the mixture starts to sticks to your hands, wet them with cold water.
Heat a skillet with butter and extra virgin olive oil.
Sauté the meatballs in 3 or 4 batches, turning them frequently to keep the meatballs from sticking. Drain them on paper towels.
Drain the excess olive oil and scrape off and discard any browned bits of meat that may be sticking to pan after the meatballs are done.
To the same pan add butter and flour and stir until it browns.
Quickly add a can of beef stock and bring to a boil, stirring constantly until gravy thickens.
Remove from the heat and serve immediately with the meatballs.

PREPARATION (The weenie way)
Preheat the oven to 400°F.
After you've formed the meatballs as described above, place in a lightly greased, uncovered Pyrex dish.
Cook for about 10-20 minutes, depending on the size of the meatballs; eyeball it and do a touch-test to test for doneness. Rotate halfway through so the entire sphere gets browned as it would have in a frying pan.
Remove from pan, and drain on paper towels; keep warm after draining.
Use pan scrapings to make gravy as described above, adding extra beef broth or stock to increase volume as necessary.

(Sorry for the freaky lighting. Still getting the hang of this new camera!)

Enjoy your Swedish feast, you crazy Vikings! } :- )

(That's clearly a Viking helmet, BTW.)

(Shaddup.)

The Alternate Thanksgiving of Amazingness for Two

Happy Thanksgiving (belated a day...I was busy thanking & snacking)!  Never being one who was overly enthused by turkey, my Thanksgiving menu is both yummier (in my opinion) and faster to make!  My plans this holiday to hang out with my dad and step-mom were also shot (due to one bad back and one really bad cold) so this dinner is for two (though technically like, 8 people could have probably eaten this all and been completely satisfied).

The Menu:

Appetizers:

Baked Brie with Figs

Dates

Soppressata salami (yes!)

Entree:

Mixed Peppercorn Beef Tenderloin with Shallot-Port Reduction

Sides:

Brussels Sprouts with Currants and Pine Nuts

Smashed Potatoes with Goat Cheese and Chives

All I can say is this is one of the most fantastic meals I and my uber-wonderful co-chef have ever made (yes, I allowed him to graduate from sous chef since he actually does a lot more than Tarot-the-cat.  Similarly, our cat slept in the corner the entire day and only came out of his coma to eat a small piece of beef and later barf on the carpet after eating his cat food too quickly for the second day in a row).  The recipes came mostly from Cooking Light's Nov 2008 issue for those who want to know but I've changed a few things around of course.

Baked Brie with Figs:

I made this earlier in the day since I knew it would be way too much at dinner. It's really easy. Get a wheel of brie at the store...mine was actually a relatively big one at 14 oz, but I believe they also come in 4 and 8 oz sizes as well. Preheat your oven to 350.  Put the brie rind and all on a pie pan (I had a glass one, but I'm sure putting it on a cookie sheet would be fine too) and brush a little melted butter on it.  Arrange slices of fresh figs (if you live in California) on the brie and pop in the oven for about 10-12 minutes, or until it feel nice and soft when you press on the center of it.  Take it out and remove the slices of figs and put to the side.  Take a fig spread (our favorite is the Organic Adriatic Fig Spread jar with the orange top) and slather on a nice amount right on top of the wheel (again leave the rind...I swear rind is good this way). Put your cooked little figgy slices back on top for decoration.  Eat with baguette slices!

Prep Work:

It would have been easier if I had done it this way instead of the kitchen madness that ensued. But it was damn worth it.

-Chop about 4 big shallots up finely...you will need 1/4 cup for the reduction and 1/4 cup for the brussels sprouts so do it all at once.

-Chop up about 3 tbs of fresh chives for the potatoes.

-Take out about 3/4 cup or 6 oz of goat cheese from your fridge.  Let it get more room temperature.  I got one of those little medallion sized goat cheeses and that seemed about the right amount.

-Peel about 2 lbs of potatoes (in my case I believe this was about 5 medium sized taters).  We went for red, but any baking type should do.  Chop them into 1" pieces so when you boil them they won't take forever to get soft.  Put your pot of cold water on to boil and hey, toss the potatoes in while you're at it for good measure as they should start out in the cold water.  Add a pinch of salt in there. Once they boil they should take about 15 minutes of simmering to get soft.

-Chop up a tsp of fresh thyme.

Step One: Start your reduction.

In a saucepan (or in my case I used my medium sized cast iron skillet...just make sure whatever you're using is deep enough to contain all the liquid) combine:

-2 cups of ruby port or other sweet red wine (we went for Krohm Porto ruby port wine)

-1 1/2 cups of fat-free, less-sodium beef broth

-1/4 cup of finely chopped shallots

-1/8 tsp of salt (like I would measure this out...just toss a pinch in!)

-2 sprigs of fresh parsley

-1 spring of fresh thyme

Bring to a boil and let reduce to 1 1/4 cups for about 15-20 minutes.  While that's reducing we'll keep going.

Step Two: Get your steak on!

Take out your steaky!  First of all I felt a little confused as to what part of the cow a beef tenderloin is, but felt it had to do something with filet mignon. Basically, I think I learned the filet is the end of the entire tenderloin, but the important thing is: Can I find it in a grocery store?  So while perusing the meat dept. at my local Safeway I only found giant 6 lb tenderloins or individual filet steaks.  Quite the discrepancy.  My recipe calls for a two lb tenderloin so if you're making this for two I suggest taking it down to 1 1/2 lbs or maybe even 1 lb.  The thing is, this meat came out so good you may want the 1 1/2 just for after dinner, pre-Thanksgiving coma snacking.  Which is exactly what I asked my Safeway meat girl.  She came back with a 1 1/2 lb filet mignon but all in one piece (instead of in individual steak or medallion size) and it was damn pretty.

Ok, now press about 1 tsp of salt and 1 1/2 tbs of cracked mixed peppercorns into the outside of your steak.  Instead of making this in the oven in a shallow roasting pan as the recipe called for, we decided to heat our oven to 350 and then sear the tenderloin for about a minute on each side in a cast iron skillet with a little olive oil on the stove.  Once that's done just toss it in the oven for about 20-25 minutes in the same skillet (NOTE: this only works if you have a cast iron skillet.  Non-stick varieties need not apply).  If you'd rather the original method the recipe called for putting it in the roasting pan with some spray oil for 33 minutes at 450.  But I like my steak a bit rarer.

Now this is when the lightning speed happened.  I actually had to turn my steak off and just let it chill for a while because my reduction was taking too long.  I don't want that to happen to you so....that's why I'm having you start the reduction first.

Step Three: I'm be-SIDES myself!

So that last step is really quick.  Hopefully your potatoes are soft now.  Technically your boyfriend did this part of the meal so he should have to write this up but he looks busy connected to his laptop.  So!  (Status update: He is editing the photos for this post!  Love him!)

Before we do that we are going to toast some pine nuts and get the sprouts started.  I purchased about 1 lb of sprouts I believe but whatever looks good to you.  We also always search for the littlest sprouts since they will be more tender and leave the others for people who believe bigger is better (seriously, does it always have to be about size with you?).  

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium high heat and add 1 tbs of pine nuts (I added a little more since I like them).  Cook about 2 minutes or until toasted then chop coarsely.  I added a tiny bit of olive oil and NOW I realize why that didn't seem to work so wonderfully, though the nuts still came out fine, I just had to blot them off in the end.  Melt some butter in a pan over medium-high and then add 1/4 cup chopped shallots.  Let these saute for a minute, stirring frequently, and then toss in your sprouts (George always cuts a plus sign into the "stem" part so they cook faster), 2 tbs of dried currants, 1 tsp chopped fresh thyme (you chopped this in the prep part), 1/4 tsp of salt and 1/4 tsp of black pepper.  Toss and add 1/2 cup of fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth.  Cover, reduce heat and let cook for around 7 mins.

Meanwhile, drain your potatoes and return them to the same pan or pot you boiled them in (and remember, in Courtney's kitchen peeling your potatoes is always optional, though this time we did) on low heat.  Add 1 tsp of salt and 2 tbs of butter.  Mash those babies!!  Then put in the goat cheese you let soften up and 1/4 tsp of black pepper.  The heat should still be on low so it shouldn't take all that long to get melty.  Stir in 1 cup of 2% milk and let cook 1 minute (this way is nice because then the milk won't make your hot potatoes turn room temperature!)  Lastly, stir in the chives you chopped up earlier.  Them taters are done!

Step Four: Finishing up

Your reduction should be ready to take your relationship to the next level. Strain the mixture through a sieve (or in my case a colander) and remove all the solids.  WHAT?  Remove all those tasty shallots!?  I know.  I thought that was whack too so I tossed my herbs, but put my shallots in a nice little bowl to throw on my steak later.  Combine 1 1/2 tbs of all-purpose flour and 3 tbs of water in a separate little bowl.  Return your port mixture to the pan and add the flour mixture to it while you whisk it in.  Whisk it!  Whisk it good.  Bring it to a boil again until it gets nice and thick (I swear I looked away for a second and then it was perfect, so it happens pretty fast) then remove it from the heat and whisk in 1 tbs of butter and a dash of balsamic vinegar (about 1/2 a tsp). Holy eff you're reduction is done!  Your steak probably is too, so I hope you took that out.  Carve into it to make sure it's done the way you like.  Doing it my way was perfect.  It was nice and pink, but redder toward the center so there is something for everyone.

Also, just finish up your sprouts.  Uncover them and cook about 4 mins or so until your broth evaporates.  When I uncovered mine my broth was ALREADY evaporated, so I took this as a sign that god loves me and wants to continue to shower my life with beef tenderloin.  When they look good and tender ( I love how green they get a minute after you first put them in) they are done!  All that's left is to sprinkle on your chopped toasty pine nuts.

Now that may seem like a lot of steps, but it's a great alternative to cooking a turkey for four hours.  With good planning this meal hardly takes more than a hour to make.  Which leaves more time for the greens (come on guys, vegetables!) California is so known for.  Plate everything, light your instant-romance candles and enjoy!  The reduction sauce has a tendency to get a skin on the top of it as it's cooling.  After you slice some beef portions and put it on the plates, just stir the sauce before you ladle it over the meat.  I absolutely LOVED the sprouts too because the shallots, pine nuts and currants mixed together amazingly and taste like candy.  And mashed potatoes with goat cheese have such an awesome tang.  I was really happy (and thankful) everything came out to perfection, and the meal was so good that I didn't even feel the need to contemplate dessert.  We just ate everything!

 (All photos by George P. Macklin.)

Ali's Kitchen: Potato and Leek Gratin With Cumin

It's cold. My head hurts. It's the perfect time for this dish. This recipe for potato and leek gratin with cumin comes directly from the "Recipes for Health" feature of the New York Times Health section, ironically not the Dining & Wine section. At first glance you (depending on your cultural baggage) might think, "Potatoes? Gratin? What is this doing in 'Recipes for Health?'" Well, here's why:

Cheese isn't bad for you! Neither are potatoes! Calcium and protein. Fiber and potassium. THE. END.

Well, not The End, obviously, but let's point something out: This recipe uses less than 1 cup of Gruyère, in a dish meant for 6-8 people. You can use even less cheese, if you like, and you'll still get the creamy effect. That's hardly a lot of dairy fat. And, since this is from the Health section, they've substituted the cream that's in many gratins for lowfat milk. Works just fine everytime, and your tummy (if it's sensitive) will thank you. Herewith, the text of their recipe, interspersed with pictures from Carlita Canon:

INGREDIENTS

1 garlic clove, cut in half
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 pound leeks, white and light green parts only, cut in half lengthwise, sliced and rinsed of sand
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds, lightly toasted and crushed in a mortar and pestle or a spice mill (I had cumin seeds as well as ground cumin, but not a mortar/pestle or spice mill. I just used the ground cumin.)
2 pounds russet potatoes or Yukon golds, peeled if using russets, scrubbed if using Yukon golds, and sliced 1/4 inch thick (I'm using red potatoes because for some bizarre reason, that's all the grocery store had. I think I also bought more than 2 lbs - our grocery doesn't have a scale, oddly enough - because this practically overflowed my 2.2 lb casserole.)
3 ounces Gruyère cheese, grated (3/4 cup, tightly packed)
2 1/3 cups low-fat milk

PREPARATION

1. Preheat the oven to 375ºF. Rub the inside of a 2-quart gratin or baking dish with the cut side of the garlic clove. Brush lightly with olive oil.
2. Heat the remaining olive oil in a wide, heavy nonstick skillet over medium heat and add the leeks. Cook, stirring often, until tender, for about 5 minutes. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt and freshly ground pepper to taste and stir in the crushed cumin seeds. Stir together for half a minute and remove from the heat.
3. Place the potatoes in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Add the leeks mixture and half the cheese, and toss together. Arrange in the baking dish in an even layer. Pour in the milk.

Place the baking dish on a baking sheet and place in the oven.

4. Bake the gratin for 45 minutes, checking after 30 minutes and pressing the potatoes down into the milk with the back of a spoon. At 45 minutes, remove the dish from the oven and again press the potatoes down into the liquid. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top and bake for another 30 to 45 minutes, or until nicely browned. Remove from the heat and allow to sit for 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

There you have it! In retrospect, I would add that:

- Putting a cookie sheet under the pan is helpful, in case the milk boils over in your small casserole;

- Possibly cover the top with aluminum foil for at least part of the early cooking so it doesn't get too brown. The color doesn't make a difference in the AWESOME taste, but if you need to serve this to someone other than your living partner, it might be a nice touch.

The article means this recipe for a vegetarian main dish , but we are having it with sautéed chicken breasts, whipped up while the gratin is cooling. Simply:

1. Rinse, pat dry, lightly salt and pepper the chicken, etc. and so forth with your basic prep.

2. Dredge the breasts through some milk, then through some flour mixed with coriander, paprika, and garlic powder, just to keep things interesting.

Coriander and paprika are fun with the cumin, but use your own favorite spice here.

3. Preheat some olive oil or butter or both in the UNWASHED pan you used for the leeks.

4. Sauté about 5-7 minutes per side (totally depends on the size of the breasts).

(If you use GARGANTUAN chicken breasts like some of us, then when both sides are brown and they STILL aren't done, take the gratin out to cool and put the chicken in the oven in its place, in either a 400-degree-safe pan, or in another casserole. If your chicken breasts are big enough that 8 minutes per side didn't do it in the pan [these are the Frankenstein breasts about whose growing process I'd like to keep in the dark], then at least 10 minutes still at that 375ºF should do it. If you're hopeless at cooking poultry, like I am, then a meat thermometer always helps.)

Boom. Dinner. Le yum yum.

Amsterdam Vacation Culinary Roundup

Dag! Here in the Netherlands, specifically North Holland, the food is solid, warm and wholesome. Since Amsterdam has long been a crossroads for cultures, and the Netherlands long a colonizer to the world, this breeds an interesting combination of flavors and textures. Observe:

Zuurklooschotel met riesgling
("Sauerkraut with Riesling" - Salted pork, bacon, sausage, frankfuter and rozeval potato)


What K lovingly refers to as "half a pig"

Jet lagged on our first evening, we ordered room service in. And what pleasantly surprising room service it was. I think those oval-shaped things are the "bacon," since Europeans are weird like that. The sausage was absolutely succulent, and the "frankfurters" were a far cry from Nathan's Famous. This meal was so delectable that I was forced to admit my non-abhorence of sauerkraut. I can't even tell you about the mustard. OH MY GOD, THE MUSTARD. However, it was the SALT, not the mustard, that swelled my eyes up to veritable capsules the next morning. Worth it, but I really should have known better.

FYI, they sell beer here that's up to 9% alcohol.

It tastes super, duper fabulous

I don't know if it's the increased alcohol content or the supposedly-cleaned-daily pipes that lead to the superior taste and easier headache ratio (said the gal who gets a headache from one beer, normally).

Another thing they do differently here: Goat cheese.

Je suis le chevre

It looks creamy, and if one had never seen cheese outside of the 48 contiguous states, one might assume it was Brie. But it's not Brie. It's good.

Yet ANOTHER thing they do differenetly here. Fries. With MAYONNAISE:

All your cellulite are belong to us

That shite is disconcertingly tasty, but I suspect only when it's "real" mayonnaise. None of that bottled BS.

Here we have some cheese. Didn't get the name of the cheese - just "Dutch cheese," aged and young. With mustard. OH MY GOD, TEH MUSTARD.

Sinuses open farther than a yogi's hip joints

One night we had Indonesian for dinner. This is a prevelant cuisine in the Netherlands, due to the fact that the Dutch colonized Indonesia for some inhumane amount of time. I can never remember if it was four or six hundred years, and cannot be bothered at this moment to Google the fact.

This is a rijsttafel:

"rice table"

Ours consisted of - vaguely from back row to front row, left to right - beef satay, spiced chicken, spiced beef, spiced fish (with hidden chilis, OMG), vegetables in coconut milk, vegetables in coconut sauce, [second row] fried chicken (wrapped in some kind of dark pepper skin), cucumber salad, shrimp crackers, something I didn't catch, soy bean paste. (And steamed rice in the front there.)

All I have to say is that HOLY CRAP, INDONESIAN FOOD IS GOOD. And SPICY.

And now, for the Dutch master work: PANNENKOEKEN!

Banana pancake, front. Apple pancake, background


Bacon pancake

Those crazy Europeans and their "bacon." Which is really "pancetta." Pssh.


And you know what? Our last night we felt entitled to be a little lazy, so we camped out at the hotel's restaurant, which conveniently showcased another couple of Dutch strenghts: Seafood and game.

Oysters:

The Aftermath. They were Dutch.

Duck!

It was literally a choice between duck, quail, pigeon, venison, and a bunch of fish we'd never heard of. All hail the adventurous Dutch palate.

My favorite thing about Amsterdam, just discovered since I've never been before, is that you can walk anywhere and everywhere. So it makes a whole bunch of sense to me why their food is so rich and yummy, and why they're still so comparatively slim. The one Dutch treat I didn't get to try was a herring roll, with pickles and onions. Granted, working at a Swedish restaurant gave me more than enough exposure to herring (ugh) and I know that I actually don't care for it, but herring here would have been like, say, blood sausage in the U.K. Oh well. Next time!

Leftovers Followup: Poule Au Pot Ingredients

Hello again! In the Poule Au Pot post, I mentioned that you may end up with leftover vegetables, since most of those ingredients (leeks, celery, carrots, parsnips, turnips) are sold in bunches providing more than enough of each veggie type for one night's cook-up of poule au pot. If you have leftover chicken because you bought a value pack, it's like a free fricking meal! Here's what we did with our extra ingredients tonight!

1. Prep the chicken as you wish (I'm stuffing with goat cheese, and sprinkling on thyme, salt and pepper).

2. Chop the vegetables (except for the leeks) into about 2-inch chunks. Plop in a casserole/roasting dish and pour in just enough chicken stock to cover the bottom of the casserole. Cover with aluminum foil (or a real casserole cover, if you're fancy like that).

3. Pop chickies and veggies on the top oven rack at 375, and check for doneness in about 25 minutes. That's a pretty good mass cooking in the oven at one time, so don't be surprised if things still need 10-20 minutes more, depending on: how large an amount of leftover veggies you had; how big and how many your chicken breasts are; and how heavy your casserole/roasting dishes are.

Intermission: Play with your new camera.

Spouse grudgingly agrees to take a photo of less-photographed better half.

Tiffany-style lamp in bedroom.

Fabulous apron of fabulousness

purrrrrr

Another intermission option is to accidentally burn your forearm on the 375 degree oven when lifting the veggies out to check for doneness. Ouch. I mean, really. Ouch.

4. When chicken and vegetables are done, chow down. If one is done way before the other for some reason, no sweat off your back. Take it out, keep it covered, and pop back in for a sec before you feast.

Le yum yum for le cheap cheap! Le win-win.

Ali's Kitchen: Poule Au Pot

Bienvenue, mes choux! It's time for a foray into the French countryside with the classic poule au pot. Literally "chicken in a pot," this dish is parfait for Fall, and easy to make ahead for all-week eats. Allons-y! Here are the basics that will make at least 4-6 servings:

INGREDIENTS
4 pints of chicken stock (possibly more: enough to submerge the ingredients in a large, heavy pot)
2 leeks, just the whites and light-greens, halved crosswise and lengthwise (remember: leeks are dirtier than a teenage boy's imagination, so wash, wash, wash in all those little layers)
1 medium white onion, quartered
1 large turnip, peeled and quartered
2 parsnips, peeled and halved crosswise
2 carrots, peeled and halved crosswise
2 celery stalks, cut into 2-inch pieces
Salt & pepper to taste (start with no salt if you're using canned stock/broth)
Bouquet Garni: 3 parsley springs, 1 large bay leaf, 3 springs of thyme (1-2 tsp dried), 1 celery stalk cut in half. Tie all this together with kitchen twine (or the parsley, if it's a little old and not so crisp), or just throw it in there, and strain the broth when you're serving later, so you don't end up munching on the parsley or bay leaf.
Approx. 8 chicken pieces, or 3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut into 2-inch chunks

PREPARATION
1. In your large pot, bring the chicken stock to a boil. If using boneless, skinless chicken breasts, boil your vegetables and Bouquet Garni for about 20 minutes, or until just slightly tender.





2. Add the chicken breasts, bring back to a boil, then reduce to a SIMMER (not boil, or the chicken will get tough), partially covered until the chicken is cooked through, about 5-10 minutes (this is obviously contingent on whether your chicken has bones, and/or how small the breast chunks are which you've cut; check doneness often so as not to overcook).

Serve in a shallow bowl with your favorite moisture-absorbing carbohydrate (for instance, a parbaked ciabatta loaf that needs to get out of your freezer before it's completely useless). Make sure everyone gets a little of everything in his or her bowl.

Le yum yum!

THIS RECIPE'S VERSATILITY MAKES IT GREAT!
* If you can't find "stock," just use broth.
* You can use whichever chicken parts you prefer. If using thighs, or parts from a whole chicken, boil these for about 10-20 minutes first, depending on their size, before you start cooking the veggies.
* The beauty of these particulary root vegetables is that they don't turn mushy like potatoes if you need to cook the chicken a little longer than you thought.
* If you don't have one big pot, you can cook your veggies in one pot and chicken in another, with a Bouquet Garni for each.



Steal a little of the vegetables' cooking liquid to add to the chicken's broth, for the parsnip, turnip and carrot flavor.
* You can prep the veggies ahead of time and cover, immersed in water:

This is particularly helpful if, say, your husband and his Playstation buddy are monopolizing the living room all afternoon and you are bored. Any excess water the veggies soak up during this time won't matter so much, since they're going to cook in liquid anyway.

* All ingredients and amounts are totally subjective. Need protein? Use more chicken. Veggie freak? Go hog wild. Don't like some of the root veggies listed below? Substitute others (just make sure to add them earlier or later in the cooking process, so they're not under or overcooked).

* You can use 1/2 to 1 chicken breast, and one of each vegetable type, and make this an easy dish for one. If you have to buy some of the veggies, like the leeks, carrots and celery, in bunches, you can refrigerate them and roast later in the week with sausage and mashed potatoes! Unfortunately, since you'll probably get way too much parsley to use before it goes bad, well...

Gives a whole new meaning to "Bouquet," doesn't it?

Post script: It is with much thanks that we bid adieu to our beloved Sony point-and-click and welcome to blogland our brand new Canon, hereafter christened Carlita Canon.

Hola.

Welcome, Carlita, and thanks to Tarot for being such a willing test subject for figuring out what the hell "aperture value" is.

Le meow meow.

Ali's Kitchen: Classic, First-Anniversary-Friendly White Cake

Beginner's Baking Tips

1. Have a kitchen that's bigger and has more counter space than this one:

2. It seems that you really do get what you pay for where baking supplies are concerned. For instance, a) definitely get a better mixer than this one:

Sigmund says I have Cuisinart envy.

Otherwise, your mixer's speeds will be: Manic Housecat, Autobahn, and Nascar. Not necessarily optimal. b) Have a spatula that is not a piece of cheap crap. Otherwise, it will snap in two - that's right, in two - during mixing. That was fun. c) On the plus side, you know what's magical? Williams-Sonoma Nonstick Goldtouch™ bakeware. It let even a baking novice/ignoramus like myself - whose cake ended up cooking a looong time - completely avoid cake sticking to the pan. Not only that, the cake separated from the pan like buttah. Since I used Pam for Baking instead of butter and flour, and since Pam for Baking is just awful, I have to credit the Williams-Sonoma pans with this success. The cooling rack from the same line is also great.

3. Have a full set of mixing bowls. Deep ones. I have one (1) deep mixing bowl. I have a bunch of big-to-medium, but shallow, bowls that, I thought, would double as "mixing" bowls. Here's the funny thing: Mixing in a shallow bowl will leave you with splatters at interesting spots on the wall, refrigerator, your hair, your cat, you get the picture. Hence, you will be forced to hand-mix. Hence, you will end up with some great upper body exercise:

Wow. What a bicep I've got there.../sarcasm

But a really long mixing process. Related problem: Having to reuse the same bowls (and wash, and dry them) will mess up your timing, which in baking is important.

4. For the love of all that is shiny and pretty, use real eggs to get your egg whites. Don't use egg white from a box. Otherwise? You will be left completely at a loss when trying to figure out the measurements for "whites of 8 large eggs."

That is an odious lie.

And then, sadly, you'll end up using too much egg, like I did, and thus end up with eggy cake. While not the worst thing in the world, it's... eggy. We were going for cake, not a French patisserie bread.

5. While cooling, don't touch. If need be, stand guard to ward off those in your house with a Y chromosome, or those who are under 15 years of age. Related: Don't frost until FULLY COOLED. Otherwise, slide, boom, splat, mayhem, woe.

6. Even if the cake is a little eggy, enjoy.

(Yum yum. And yay ^_^)

Here's the actual recipe:

White Cake, Joy of Cooking, page 937
Have all ingredients at room temperature, 68 to 70 degrees F. Preheat the oven to 375. Grease and flour three* 8x2-inch round pans or line the bottoms with wax or parchment paper. Sift together twice:

3 1/2 cups sifted cake flour**
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine:

1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon almond extract (optional)

In a large bowl, beat until creamy, about 30 seconds***:

1 2/3 cups sugar

Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the milk mixture in 2 parts, beating on low speed or stirring with a rubber spatula until smooth and scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary. In another large bowl, beat on medium speed until soft peaks form:

8 large egg whites
3/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Gradually add, beating on high speed:
1/3 cup sugar

Beat until the peaks are stiff but not dry****. Use a rubber spatula***** to fold****** one-quarter of the egg whites into the butter mixture, then fold in the remaining whites. Divide the batter among the pans and spread evenly. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Let cool in the pans on a rack for 10 minutes. Slide a thin knife around the cake to detach it from the pans. Invert the cake and peel off the paper liners, if using. Let cool right side up on the rack. Fill and frost as desired.

*Somehow I missed this key detail. Which would explain why they turned out... huge. And took so long. Am an idiot. Then again, let's be honest: How annoying would adjusting all the measurements be? I got an 800 in my verbal SAT portion, not the math, and that sort of multiplication is just BEYOND me this far out of high school.

**I used all-purose white flour, because I figure that's why it's called "all purpose."

***If you're using an electric mixer, you lucky jerk.

****Yeah, I'm lazy, and didn't actually do this. It doesn't appear to have mattered.

*****If you still have one.

******WTF is "folding?" I don't care. I stirred. It's fine.

Courtney has a lot of trying to do.

TO DO, you BOLD all the items you've eaten. CROSS OUT anything you would stay the hell away from at all costs!!

Courtney's turn (with notes in parentheses, because i LOVE notes in parentheses!):
(from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk) The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (OMG am obsessed!)
4. Steak tartare (I totally want to try this and never have...I don't think!)
5. Crocodile (I don't think I've had but sounds bitchin')
6. Black pudding (It's made with congealed BLOOD and filler....that's so beyond disgusting!)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (nummy)
13. PB&J sandwich (OK, aside from people not from America, who HASN'T had this?)
14. Aloo gobi (I looove Indian spiced potatoes...I'm not sure if I've had this so I'll leave it, but sounds super yum!)
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (mmm love French cheese...must try)
17. Black truffle (I'm NOT SURE! OMG I think maybe but I don't want to cheat. Yum!)
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (I am bolding this simply for the fact that I've had mead several times. Which is made from honey and is kind of beerish/wineish...but shut up.)
19. Steamed pork buns (I have had steamed pork dumplings...but the buns are fatter. I've seen 'em....would totally try.)
20. Pistachio ice cream (Pistachio Stracciatella gelato too....oh yeah!)
21. Heirloom tomatoes (Super drool)
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras (I've had pate before but not sure if I had foie gras....)
24. Rice and beans (Again, um who hasn't had this staple?)
25. Brawn, or head cheese (I think Ma Ingles made this in Little House in the Big Woods by boiling the pig's head until all the meat fell off then I BELIEVE...correct me if I'm wrong...it's kind of put into a matrix of other food substance in a cold cut type fashion....either way it does sound nasty and I'm vetoing it for now unless some head cheese connoisseur insists it's delicious)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (yeah I've only had the ice cream)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (wow this does sound amazing)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (probably but can't remember an instance)
33. Salted lassi (this sounds cool...now if they had said salted Lassie....)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (OK...I have had cognac...and I have had fat cigars. Not at the same time persay, but I've had them, mmmkay?)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (also known as, um....THE JELLO SHOT?)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (hahahaha um no...but I'd try it of course)
46. Fugu (I would totally try this if i was in Japan at a really amazing and celebrated restaurant. Or best friends with a Japanese person I knew wasn't trying to kill me. But sure!)
47. Chicken tikka masala (WOW I actually had this for the first time a few weeks ago)
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (fuck yes)
50. Sea urchin (I heard it's nasty but I'd try it)
51. Prickly pear (well, I had prickly pear gelato last week....so sorta....and that gelato was AMAZING!)
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (This ALSO makes me think of Island of the Blue Dolphins!)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (loooove beer with high alcohol content yessss)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips (blech...carob)
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads (ew I'm crossing this off for the time being unless someone I can believe tells me I have to try this.)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (I always see these at the Asian grocery store...makes me think of In The Mood For Love)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis ("In fact I think most Scottish food is based on a dare.")
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (Jade Verte Suisse 65º I believe)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (I'm not saying I wouldn't eat the finest of hillbilly meats, but I think I'd rather it was killed by a gun instead of rotting in the road before harvesting.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. (uhh...I doubt it)
85. Kobe beef (OMG must try!)
86. Hare (I agree...I've had bunny)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (This scares me a little.)
90. Criollo chocolate (high quality chocolate...put it in my face!)
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (want to try!!)'

WOW! I have a lot to try. I really enjoyed this since now I have some really amazing things to get into my mouth! I'm disappointed hakarl isn't on here haha.

Labor Day Munchies Memoir

Not a recipe for a change! Cate has this nifty have-you-ever list up... but instead of unholy activities, it concerns ingredients and foods you would not consider using, or have eaten. TO DO, you BOLD all the items you've eaten. CROSS OUT anything you would stay the hell away from at all costs. Squee :)


Ali's List (with notes in italics):

(from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk)
The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (I have never had these - can you believe it?)
4. Steak tartare (In Florence - maybe the only way to eat it.)
5. Crocodile (no, but I have had alligator, which I say is close enough) (Bizarrely enough, Cate wrote that, and I can say the exact same.)
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (When in NYC: Artisanal. There is no other.)
8. Carp (I don't like fish. Generally.)
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (please see: "Artisanal" above)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (apricot)
19. Steamed pork buns (I have been to Chinatown, so, duh.)
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (huckleberries at camp in Alabama)
23. Foie gras (But I felt really, really guilty if it makes this any better.)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (I don't know what this is, but it sounds disgusting.)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (Only the ice cream)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (OMG this sounds so good)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (Please. My mom is 1/2 German.)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (Oddly enough, I can bold this one)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat (First vacation with then-boyfriend now-husband was in the Bahamas, so, YES.)
42. Whole insects (I wouldn't rule this out. Everyone always says they're "nutty," and I *heart* nuts, so...)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (Yuck)
46. Fugu (I'd rather labor under the illusion that my food won't necessarily kill me.)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin (Surprisingly, I didn't like this at all. Too gummy.)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (This always makes me think of Island of the Blue Dolphins. Aren't these endangered?)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (Haven't had this, and I keep bugging K to go with me to the German restaurant across the street so I can try it.)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (If you've been within 500 miles of Belgium, then yes, you've probably had this.)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Isn't this just like asking if I've eaten Tums?)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (Isn't this that really nasty fruit from Indonesia?)
66. Frogs’ legs (Yum!)
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (Smelled absinthe once and that was enough for me.)
74. Gjetost, or brunost (I've had the Milko brand, courtesy of working in a Swedish restaurant.)
75. Roadkill (Rat meat is apparently very popular in Cambodia at the moment, as food prices soar and other meats become unattainable to the world's poor.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum (I mean, I've had this in Thai restaurants in America, though like the Indian selections on here, I'm not sure if I should *really* be able to bold it.)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef (OMG. There is no other kind.)
86. Hare (I've had rabbit, so I'm bolding this, even though I'm sure there's some kind of distinction.)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (Two Mules for Sister Sara. Not crossing this out because that says it all to me.)

64 out of 100, with 10 crossed out. How 'bout you??

Ali's Kitchen: Herbed Chicken Cutlets with SURPRISE! Sides

I am fulfilling my promise of cooking something from a hallowed or otherwise off-line cookbook. Sort of. I took a basic from Joy of Cooking and modified it, mostly using the recipe for timing and measurements.

We started off with your basic "Sautéed Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts" (page 587 in the 1997 version). This suggests (with my notes as parentheticals) that you:

"Rinse and pat dry 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (we're using 3, just over 1 lb.)... If you wish (I did), remove the tenderloins. Sprinkle both sides with salt and ground black pepper to taste (we have a rainbow pepper grinder instead; you can also mix this into the flour mixture below instead of adding to chicken first). Spread on a plate 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Now, here is the big deviation. We're ALSO adding about 1/3 cup Manchego cheese...

(Grated like zees, on zee small side, not zee zesting side.) (That is, if you're using 3-month Manchego, or other only semi-hard cheese. If the cheese is harder, like Parmesan, it won't gum up in the zesting grates as much.)

... And some (1/4 c. total?) fresh chopped thyme and sage. Mmmmm.

The Joy of Cooking version continues:

"Coat the chicken on both sides with the flour (mixture) (dredge in egg or milk first)... Gently shake off the excess...

Small kitchens: The bane of every multi-process recipe.

"Heat in a heavy 10- to 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until fragrant and nut-brown 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil. (I halved this, so as to add oil on an as-needed basis. Ended up using about this amount of oil/butter.) Swirl the butter and oil together... Sauté for exactly 4 minutes, keeping the fat as hot as possible without letting it burn..."

(yeah, I suck at that)

" Using tongs, turn the chicken and cook until the flesh feels firm to the touch and milky juices appear around the tenderloins, 3 to 5 minutes more."

However, at 4x4, our chicken still is not done. Nor at 5x5 (minutes, that is). While we wait for it to stop bleeding, let us ponder a great question. Cat bums: They are cute, yet they do gross things. In other words, it's the ultimate Essentialist vs. Existentialist quandary ("to be or to do," which one defines us?). Which side wins out?

In sum, the Plato vs. Sartre cage match still isn't over.

Now we come to the SURPRISE! sides. They're called that for 2 reasons.

1: We (being the feline sous chef and myself) were planning to cook pasta, until, SURPRISE! We saw that the potatoes? The ones we cooked last week? For "Thanksgiving?" Weren't oddly-colored and, in fact, still smelled quite good. Reduction of labor by reheating leftovers = über win. If I end up in hospital from a fungal stomach infection, you'll know why. Hey, anything in the name of Cheap.

2: So, when you get greens such as arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna, you generally expect them to be crisp and fresh, yes? And to smell like arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna (oh my GOD, I'm going to miss NYC grocery stores when we move)? Yeah, well, sometimes this happens:

SURPRISE!

In this case, you either run to the grocery store or stick your head in the oven* freezer. And, in OUR case, you find:

I would like to go to Bruges, if not so much Brussels.
You know what I'm gonna do, boy howdy? I'm gonna a) defrost them, at about 2 minutes less than the package directions, and b) sauté 'em as though they were pasta: With some butter and sage, because I've never had them (to my recollection; don't ask why I got them), and all I've heard is how bad they smell while cooking.

Sage like zees. Le chop chop.
Butter and sage should mitigate that a little, yes? Here's hoping.

Aaaand, here's the finished product:

Le yum yum.

You may notice that the chicken breast is actually halved. Well, that's because THEY WOULDN'T COOK. I was a good little chef: I waited 5 minutes or so before even checking inside... and they were STILL PINK. The timing was a lie, a LIE!

RECIPE ROUNDUP
Favorite thing about this dish: What is the deal with vilifying Brussels sprouts? I found mine positively enjoyable, and they certainly didn't stink up the place while cooking. Perhaps it was all the sage and butter?

Least favorite thing about this dish: Are they kidding me with the timing? If it's really 4 minutes per side - for modern-sized chicken breasts (i.e., Frankenstein) - then I will eat my hat. I'll eat my hypothetical hat, that is, before I will eat that pink chicken. The chicken took fully 10+ minutes total, and was not overcooked. That's at LEAST an extra minute per side. Oh, and then? I stuck the piece I was actually eating in the MICROWAVE for 45 seconds, and it's STILL tender as I type all this out, about an hour later. Joy of Cooking can kiss my rump. Or perhaps I am just really, really bad at cooking poultry. (A distinct possibility, and a good explanation for why I gravitate toward red meat.)

Surprising thing about this dish: Manchego cheese: Not just for pairing with Goya guava paste anymore. I used Manchego on a whim (ON SALE), but was nervous about the texture, and the combination of thyme and sage with it - instead of olives, which seem to be the only non-fruit-related "seasoning" people pair with Manchego outside of the Iberian peninsula. Everything worked beautifully.

New skill learned: Not necessarily listening to recipes re: timing. I used to think I would overcook by default if I went above the recommended time. Not so, grasshopper, not so.

* Kidding. Plus, I don't think you can even really do that with today's ovens.