Labor Day Munchies Memoir

Not a recipe for a change! Cate has this nifty have-you-ever list up... but instead of unholy activities, it concerns ingredients and foods you would not consider using, or have eaten. TO DO, you BOLD all the items you've eaten. CROSS OUT anything you would stay the hell away from at all costs. Squee :)


Ali's List (with notes in italics):

(from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk)
The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (I have never had these - can you believe it?)
4. Steak tartare (In Florence - maybe the only way to eat it.)
5. Crocodile (no, but I have had alligator, which I say is close enough) (Bizarrely enough, Cate wrote that, and I can say the exact same.)
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (When in NYC: Artisanal. There is no other.)
8. Carp (I don't like fish. Generally.)
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (please see: "Artisanal" above)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (apricot)
19. Steamed pork buns (I have been to Chinatown, so, duh.)
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (huckleberries at camp in Alabama)
23. Foie gras (But I felt really, really guilty if it makes this any better.)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (I don't know what this is, but it sounds disgusting.)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (Only the ice cream)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (OMG this sounds so good)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (Please. My mom is 1/2 German.)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (Oddly enough, I can bold this one)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat (First vacation with then-boyfriend now-husband was in the Bahamas, so, YES.)
42. Whole insects (I wouldn't rule this out. Everyone always says they're "nutty," and I *heart* nuts, so...)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (Yuck)
46. Fugu (I'd rather labor under the illusion that my food won't necessarily kill me.)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin (Surprisingly, I didn't like this at all. Too gummy.)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (This always makes me think of Island of the Blue Dolphins. Aren't these endangered?)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (Haven't had this, and I keep bugging K to go with me to the German restaurant across the street so I can try it.)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (If you've been within 500 miles of Belgium, then yes, you've probably had this.)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Isn't this just like asking if I've eaten Tums?)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (Isn't this that really nasty fruit from Indonesia?)
66. Frogs’ legs (Yum!)
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (Smelled absinthe once and that was enough for me.)
74. Gjetost, or brunost (I've had the Milko brand, courtesy of working in a Swedish restaurant.)
75. Roadkill (Rat meat is apparently very popular in Cambodia at the moment, as food prices soar and other meats become unattainable to the world's poor.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum (I mean, I've had this in Thai restaurants in America, though like the Indian selections on here, I'm not sure if I should *really* be able to bold it.)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef (OMG. There is no other kind.)
86. Hare (I've had rabbit, so I'm bolding this, even though I'm sure there's some kind of distinction.)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (Two Mules for Sister Sara. Not crossing this out because that says it all to me.)

64 out of 100, with 10 crossed out. How 'bout you??

Ali's Kitchen: Herbed Chicken Cutlets with SURPRISE! Sides

I am fulfilling my promise of cooking something from a hallowed or otherwise off-line cookbook. Sort of. I took a basic from Joy of Cooking and modified it, mostly using the recipe for timing and measurements.

We started off with your basic "Sautéed Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts" (page 587 in the 1997 version). This suggests (with my notes as parentheticals) that you:

"Rinse and pat dry 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (we're using 3, just over 1 lb.)... If you wish (I did), remove the tenderloins. Sprinkle both sides with salt and ground black pepper to taste (we have a rainbow pepper grinder instead; you can also mix this into the flour mixture below instead of adding to chicken first). Spread on a plate 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Now, here is the big deviation. We're ALSO adding about 1/3 cup Manchego cheese...

(Grated like zees, on zee small side, not zee zesting side.) (That is, if you're using 3-month Manchego, or other only semi-hard cheese. If the cheese is harder, like Parmesan, it won't gum up in the zesting grates as much.)

... And some (1/4 c. total?) fresh chopped thyme and sage. Mmmmm.

The Joy of Cooking version continues:

"Coat the chicken on both sides with the flour (mixture) (dredge in egg or milk first)... Gently shake off the excess...

Small kitchens: The bane of every multi-process recipe.

"Heat in a heavy 10- to 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until fragrant and nut-brown 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil. (I halved this, so as to add oil on an as-needed basis. Ended up using about this amount of oil/butter.) Swirl the butter and oil together... Sauté for exactly 4 minutes, keeping the fat as hot as possible without letting it burn..."

(yeah, I suck at that)

" Using tongs, turn the chicken and cook until the flesh feels firm to the touch and milky juices appear around the tenderloins, 3 to 5 minutes more."

However, at 4x4, our chicken still is not done. Nor at 5x5 (minutes, that is). While we wait for it to stop bleeding, let us ponder a great question. Cat bums: They are cute, yet they do gross things. In other words, it's the ultimate Essentialist vs. Existentialist quandary ("to be or to do," which one defines us?). Which side wins out?

In sum, the Plato vs. Sartre cage match still isn't over.

Now we come to the SURPRISE! sides. They're called that for 2 reasons.

1: We (being the feline sous chef and myself) were planning to cook pasta, until, SURPRISE! We saw that the potatoes? The ones we cooked last week? For "Thanksgiving?" Weren't oddly-colored and, in fact, still smelled quite good. Reduction of labor by reheating leftovers = über win. If I end up in hospital from a fungal stomach infection, you'll know why. Hey, anything in the name of Cheap.

2: So, when you get greens such as arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna, you generally expect them to be crisp and fresh, yes? And to smell like arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna (oh my GOD, I'm going to miss NYC grocery stores when we move)? Yeah, well, sometimes this happens:

SURPRISE!

In this case, you either run to the grocery store or stick your head in the oven* freezer. And, in OUR case, you find:

I would like to go to Bruges, if not so much Brussels.
You know what I'm gonna do, boy howdy? I'm gonna a) defrost them, at about 2 minutes less than the package directions, and b) sauté 'em as though they were pasta: With some butter and sage, because I've never had them (to my recollection; don't ask why I got them), and all I've heard is how bad they smell while cooking.

Sage like zees. Le chop chop.
Butter and sage should mitigate that a little, yes? Here's hoping.

Aaaand, here's the finished product:

Le yum yum.

You may notice that the chicken breast is actually halved. Well, that's because THEY WOULDN'T COOK. I was a good little chef: I waited 5 minutes or so before even checking inside... and they were STILL PINK. The timing was a lie, a LIE!

RECIPE ROUNDUP
Favorite thing about this dish: What is the deal with vilifying Brussels sprouts? I found mine positively enjoyable, and they certainly didn't stink up the place while cooking. Perhaps it was all the sage and butter?

Least favorite thing about this dish: Are they kidding me with the timing? If it's really 4 minutes per side - for modern-sized chicken breasts (i.e., Frankenstein) - then I will eat my hat. I'll eat my hypothetical hat, that is, before I will eat that pink chicken. The chicken took fully 10+ minutes total, and was not overcooked. That's at LEAST an extra minute per side. Oh, and then? I stuck the piece I was actually eating in the MICROWAVE for 45 seconds, and it's STILL tender as I type all this out, about an hour later. Joy of Cooking can kiss my rump. Or perhaps I am just really, really bad at cooking poultry. (A distinct possibility, and a good explanation for why I gravitate toward red meat.)

Surprising thing about this dish: Manchego cheese: Not just for pairing with Goya guava paste anymore. I used Manchego on a whim (ON SALE), but was nervous about the texture, and the combination of thyme and sage with it - instead of olives, which seem to be the only non-fruit-related "seasoning" people pair with Manchego outside of the Iberian peninsula. Everything worked beautifully.

New skill learned: Not necessarily listening to recipes re: timing. I used to think I would overcook by default if I went above the recommended time. Not so, grasshopper, not so.

* Kidding. Plus, I don't think you can even really do that with today's ovens.

Ali's Kitchen: Anytime Thanksgiving

"Thanksgiving" dinner can actually be had whenever. Our household is firmly convinced of this, and that's why we cook "Thanksgiving" in Summer, Spring or Winter, too. Here's how to cook OUR brand of Thanksgiving (for 2-3 people), in case you're interested.

Roast Turkey

And people thought Clinton was pervy?
1 3 lb. turkey breast (you can halve this, freeze the other half, and cut cooking time in half if you wish, or you can have leftovers!)
2 Tb butter or butter substitute, divided;
Salt & pepper to taste;
Mixture of your favorite herbs, such as thyme, rosemary, sage, etc. Use slightly more herbs than usual if you wish to cut down the amount of salt you use.

Preheat the oven to 425°. Make sure your turkey is around room temp. Rub the butter, salt & pepper, and herbal mixture all over turkey breast. Place in small roaster, and (if you have one) insert an oven-safe meat thermometer into the thick end of the meat.

Place the turkey in the oven and reduce the temp to 400°. After about 20 minutes, baste turkey with the second Tb of butter. Roast (and continue to occasionally baste) for at least another 20 minutes, depending on the size of the turkey breast. The turkey will reach 170° when it is done. Given the different sizes of turkey breasts, this is why meat thermometers are particularly helpful, even if it's the kind you can't keep in there the entire cooking time.

Remove to a platter, cover with aluminum foil, and set aside for 10 minutes.

Turkey Gravy

Put the roasting pan (sans rack, obviously) on a lit burner. Sprinkle just a little flour (2 Tb approx.) into the pan juices, and cook while stirring for a few minutes, scraping up any brown bits. If you like to add wine, etc. to your gravy, do so now and cook the liquid down until it's more... um... gravy-like. Or don't add the flour, and just serve the turkey "a jus."

Chive Mashed Potatoes

Darth Tater will bring you over to the dark side of extra-buttery potatoes.
I think we've been over this. Potatoes. Chives. Butter. Milk. The. End. Fun add-ins are also cream cheese instead of milk, and garlic. Salt & pepper if you wish, but remember to just say "no" if you're using salted butter, or butter substitute.

Green Bean Casserole

le classique
No one rocks this one like my mom, but dammit, I try. It's basically ripped off from the French's recipe, with a few important differences. Theirs says:

Ingredients:
1 (10 3/4 oz.) can CAMPBELL'S® Cream of Mushroom Soup
3/4 cup milk;
1/8 tsp. black pepper
2 (9 oz. each) pkgs. frozen cut green beans, thawed*
1 1/3 cups FRENCH'S® Original or Cheddar French Fried Onions;
Directions:
1. MIX soup, milk and pepper in a 1 1/2 -qt. baking dish. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup French Fried Onions.
2. BAKE at 350°F for 30 min. or until hot.3. STIR. Top with remaining 2/3 cup onions. Bake 5 min. until onions are golden.
*Tip: You may substitute 2 cans (14 1/2 oz. each) cut green beans, drained or 4 cups fresh, cooked cut green beans.

Here's the deal: You can add MORE green beans for what I find to be a more enjoyable bean-to-other-stuff ratio, AND you don't have to pre-cook the beans. You may find that extra crunch (they still cook just fine) to be quite pleasant!

Finally...

Don't forget some canned cranberry sauce (I hate to break it to you fresh cranberry sauce people, but it's just. not. as good. if it's not infused with ten different preservatives) and a dessert (optional) you bought somewhere else, because, come on, your kitchen is tiny and you don't have room to store baking goods that you'll only use twice a year. Extra points if you serve on your "nice" dishes with real serving utensils, and use as an excuse to force your husband to eat dinner at the dinner table.

There you have it: Thanksgiving in August! Full of win, and of course, yum yum.

Ali's Kitchen: "Local" Steak Dinner

or, "Buy Local-Grown."


Tonight's recipe comes about for two reasons. Ça:


Farmer's market tomato all the way from Georgia.

Not "local," per se, but it was certainly local when my parents picked it up south of Atlanta and shipped it (with two of its compatriots who, sadly, gave their lives so that this tomato might make it). The motivation behind this request wasn't ecological or environmental: It was that NORTHERN TOMATOES SUCK, as I have mentioned previously. People here will try to make you think that our neighbor across the river, New Jersey, has the "best" tomatoes, but as far as I can tell, they're either senile or lying. If it's not an heirloom tomato, it had better come from Georgia, IMO.

Et ça:



My grocery store has FINALLY started carrying local-grown food (which in Manhattan means New Jersey, Long Island, the Hudson Valley or the Fingerlakes Region). I don't know which farm this came from. Until I sliced into it, I didn't even know what IT was. When the cashier looked at it, she was at a complete loss. I guessed romaine? Red leaf lettuce? All I knew was, ZOMG, local-grown fad! As it turned out? It's some kind of endive, which is terribly exciting, since we have some feta which will blend nicely with all this fabulous produce. Toss that all together and throw in some pine nuts or something if you've got 'em. Salad: Done.

The last... um... "local" compontent of tonight's meal is our starch: chive mashed potatoes, which I made last week (they're not gross yet - I swear).


They're from my fridge, hence, local.
(Am so funny. Can hardly stand it.) They involved exactly what it sounds like. Potatoes. And chives. And some butter and milk, all eyeballed to get the right proportions. The end. Steam potatoes (keep skin on for mucho vitamins/nutrients). Mash or whip. Melt in butter, and stir in milk and chives. Reheating will probably necessitate some extra butter so they're not too dry. Damn. Reheat in the microwave, stirring in extra butter as you go. Potatoes: Done.

I have no idea where little steaks are from, but it's not local, because... way too inexpensive. I don't really know what cut they are (some kind of sirloin "tenderloin"), but they look kind of like filet mignon, and they were On Sale, which is The Most Important Part.

I had already salted (to taste), peppered (to taste, i.e., a lot) and garlic-powdered the steaks, when THIS happened:


Garlic powder: Empty. Ali: Flipping out.
So it called for some more flavor. Or it could have just called for "real" garlic, but no way. I'm being lazy tonight, so let's stick with that M.O. After I had added MORE pepper (yikes), K came up with the brilliant idea to order some cabernet. DING! IDEA LIGHT. Marinade! We're using this one, but I'm sure any semi-heavy red would do:


Not local. From California. Where Courtney is moving. From whence Courtney had better send wine.

Now, I didn't bother to look up a "real" marinade. Just like I don't bother using "real" garlic unless I can't help it. I just sloshed some wine on the steaks (looked like about 1/2 c. for a little over 1 lb. steak) (we're big meat-eaters here) and threw some rosemary in. Then pop 'em in a big Ziploc for easy turning and cleanup and put them in the fridge for a couple of hours.

The "rules" I've read about marinade usually reference very specific timing for different meats and , often 4. We're looking at about 2-3 hours here, but... I mean, I kind of feel like I used too much wine anyway, so we'll see... How can wine + steak + (salt + rosemary + garlic powder + [pepper x 2]) = bad? Are the brackets and parentheses supposed to be reversed there? Which kind of math is that anyway? What's the meaning of life? Who knew vinegar was such a great cleaning agent? Could gerbera daisies possibly look friendlier? These are the important questions.

No, we could not.

As always, remember to pre-heat your broiler for 20 minutes or so. I am jealous of anyone whose oven has an automatic thermometer, by the way. And, as always, remember to let your meat get to room temperature. Then, just flip, flop, pop it in your broiler and cook on each side. Depending on the thickness of the steak, this can range from 2 (very thin) to 5 (thicker and bigger steaks) minutes for a first try at rare-to-medium-rare. We new and less-confident cooks feel the need to double check everything for over- or under-cooking.

I ended up... um... not really timing this. I also completely forgot to take a picture of the finished product. Needless to say, it took a little longer than I thought it might to cook the steak BUT ONLY because I have always overshot the cooking times of steak until recently, so now I UNDERshoot. Which is better, I think. ALSO needless to say, it was good. Verrrry good. I think improvising a red wine marinade may just be the best way to do it.

Yum yum.


*Because "Local-Grown" is to Now what "Organic" is to Two Years Ago. I'm as excited about jumping on a new bandwagon as the next person...

Someone's NOT in the kitchen with Ali (pssst, and it's Courtney): Eggplant Lasagna

Tonight we need something with substance. Something that, if you eat enough, you might have to unbutton your pants, put your feet up, and watch some of that cable tv that you're stealing. No, it's not Thanksgiving dinner, but it is full of starchiness. And golden fried discs of eggplant.

I know! You can't contain your glee. Lasagna is so good. Once, I was unable to eat lasagna. It all happened when Ali and I went to Paris. Our flight over was served by Delta (the way back was Air France, a VAST improvement), on which the in-flight meal was lasagna. It tasted like ENGINE FUEL. So, for about a year....no lasagna without the delightful undertones (though imagined) of gasoline tantalizing my tastebuds. Anyway here's our recipe we'll be working from, with of course some customized additions:

1 med. eggplant cut into very thin slices

1 tbsp. veg. oil

1/2 cup chopped onion

1 lb. mushrooms sliced (I think we had about 6-8 shroomers)

9 lasagna noodles

1 (15 1/2 oz.) jar spaghetti sauce

8 oz. part skim ricotta cheese

4 oz. shredded part skim Mozzarella cheese

3 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese, or any blend like Parmesan/Reggiano/Asiago if you're feeling funky.

1-2 eggs

Italian breadcrumbs

So, ok. The above we'll call my rule of thumb. Melissa and I were cooking up this wonder, and we like fresh Mozzarella balls, which don't particularly shred with a shredder nicely. Use a knife to chop it into small pieces. Also add (for fun):

A container of marscapone (you can decide how much to use...we pretty much used it all.)

Fresh basil leaves, pull off stems and tear really big leaves into halves

A container of Grape tomatoes, chopped in halves

After chopping all your produce, throw on a large pot of water to boil for your pasta noodles. Then start on the eggplant. Make sure you get your pan hot to brown the eggplant and throw some oil on there. I used spray canola oil but added a little olive oil during the cooking process since they started to look a little dry. This worked nicely. Crack an egg into one dish and pour some bread crumbs in another. Then go to town with your little assembly line. Dip a slice of eggplant in the egg, then in the crumbs (press a little and get them on there...using a fork keeps your hands pretty clean), then into the fryer they go! It should be at about medium heat, as you don't want to wait around all night for them to cook, but you certainly don't want them to burn. A good idea is to use more than one pan to speed up the process since sliced eggplant takes up quite a bit of room. I like to sprinkle sea salt, black pepper and garlic powder over my slices. While you're browning these beauties, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. If you're lucky you can do all this while a friend chops the veggies, but if you're going it alone I would chop everything first.

Now you have sliced onions and mushies to cook. Make sure you have like 8,000 burners on your oven and about 12 frying pans to cook all this. No really. You may need to cook one batch of eggplant first and then switch to just using one pan for them, one for your onions, and one to keep that water boiling. Saute up the onions for a bit with some olive oil, then add the mushrooms. Mushrooms don't need to go on too long...they should get a little brown and moist looking, and the onions should look translucent. Also add some salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

During all of this your water has most definitely come to a boil. Place in your lasagna noodles. They may stick out a little but that's okay. Once they start to soften up you'll be able to push them all the way into the water. Follow the instructions on the box, but they should need around ten minutes or so. As your eggplant is finishing up, take out the slices and lay them on a plate with a paper towel to soak up some of the oil from cooking them. When your pasta is done cooking you'll now be ready to assemble your lasagna apparatus.

Arrange your layers in a 11 x 7 baking dish in this order: noodles, ricotta and marscapone dollops (then smoosh around a little), mushroom mixture, Mozzarella cheese, eggplant slices, basil, sauce, tomatoes and Parmesan cheese. When you get to the second round of noodles make sure to alternate the placement. You'll have to trim them so they fit in your dish. When you get it all in sprinkle some extra Parm on top..feel free to sprinkle a little dried oregano. Then toss this baby in the oven for around 30-40 minutes.

30-40 minutes!? Now what? Your male sous chef, George, is in San Francisco, and something tells you Melissa would not be really into your striptease efforts. So press play on the movie you intend to watch during dinner (in our case, City of God, which though violent is a FANTASTIC movie).

Around 35 minutes for us we took out the lasagna. It should look a little browned on top- I'm not so sure ours did but we were really hungry. And it looked amazing! Make sure you let it sit around 10 mins to cool off a little and solidify, though if your hungry little fingers can't help but ravish this culinary beauty with a knife....that's okay. We understand these things here. Dig in!

PS. Sorry my pics are always a bit dark. The lighting in my apt. during the evening kinda sucks. It's an old building and I'm evidently still trying to get George's flash to work in collaboration with me.