Ali's Kitchen: Classic, First-Anniversary-Friendly White Cake

Beginner's Baking Tips

1. Have a kitchen that's bigger and has more counter space than this one:

2. It seems that you really do get what you pay for where baking supplies are concerned. For instance, a) definitely get a better mixer than this one:

Sigmund says I have Cuisinart envy.

Otherwise, your mixer's speeds will be: Manic Housecat, Autobahn, and Nascar. Not necessarily optimal. b) Have a spatula that is not a piece of cheap crap. Otherwise, it will snap in two - that's right, in two - during mixing. That was fun. c) On the plus side, you know what's magical? Williams-Sonoma Nonstick Goldtouch™ bakeware. It let even a baking novice/ignoramus like myself - whose cake ended up cooking a looong time - completely avoid cake sticking to the pan. Not only that, the cake separated from the pan like buttah. Since I used Pam for Baking instead of butter and flour, and since Pam for Baking is just awful, I have to credit the Williams-Sonoma pans with this success. The cooling rack from the same line is also great.

3. Have a full set of mixing bowls. Deep ones. I have one (1) deep mixing bowl. I have a bunch of big-to-medium, but shallow, bowls that, I thought, would double as "mixing" bowls. Here's the funny thing: Mixing in a shallow bowl will leave you with splatters at interesting spots on the wall, refrigerator, your hair, your cat, you get the picture. Hence, you will be forced to hand-mix. Hence, you will end up with some great upper body exercise:

Wow. What a bicep I've got there.../sarcasm

But a really long mixing process. Related problem: Having to reuse the same bowls (and wash, and dry them) will mess up your timing, which in baking is important.

4. For the love of all that is shiny and pretty, use real eggs to get your egg whites. Don't use egg white from a box. Otherwise? You will be left completely at a loss when trying to figure out the measurements for "whites of 8 large eggs."

That is an odious lie.

And then, sadly, you'll end up using too much egg, like I did, and thus end up with eggy cake. While not the worst thing in the world, it's... eggy. We were going for cake, not a French patisserie bread.

5. While cooling, don't touch. If need be, stand guard to ward off those in your house with a Y chromosome, or those who are under 15 years of age. Related: Don't frost until FULLY COOLED. Otherwise, slide, boom, splat, mayhem, woe.

6. Even if the cake is a little eggy, enjoy.

(Yum yum. And yay ^_^)

Here's the actual recipe:

White Cake, Joy of Cooking, page 937
Have all ingredients at room temperature, 68 to 70 degrees F. Preheat the oven to 375. Grease and flour three* 8x2-inch round pans or line the bottoms with wax or parchment paper. Sift together twice:

3 1/2 cups sifted cake flour**
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine:

1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon almond extract (optional)

In a large bowl, beat until creamy, about 30 seconds***:

1 2/3 cups sugar

Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the milk mixture in 2 parts, beating on low speed or stirring with a rubber spatula until smooth and scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary. In another large bowl, beat on medium speed until soft peaks form:

8 large egg whites
3/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Gradually add, beating on high speed:
1/3 cup sugar

Beat until the peaks are stiff but not dry****. Use a rubber spatula***** to fold****** one-quarter of the egg whites into the butter mixture, then fold in the remaining whites. Divide the batter among the pans and spread evenly. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Let cool in the pans on a rack for 10 minutes. Slide a thin knife around the cake to detach it from the pans. Invert the cake and peel off the paper liners, if using. Let cool right side up on the rack. Fill and frost as desired.

*Somehow I missed this key detail. Which would explain why they turned out... huge. And took so long. Am an idiot. Then again, let's be honest: How annoying would adjusting all the measurements be? I got an 800 in my verbal SAT portion, not the math, and that sort of multiplication is just BEYOND me this far out of high school.

**I used all-purose white flour, because I figure that's why it's called "all purpose."

***If you're using an electric mixer, you lucky jerk.

****Yeah, I'm lazy, and didn't actually do this. It doesn't appear to have mattered.

*****If you still have one.

******WTF is "folding?" I don't care. I stirred. It's fine.