Ali's Kitchen: Oui, oui, Ratatouille!

You know why ratatouille is the perfect food and wants you to eat it all the time? Look at it:

RATATOUILLE

It has the word "oui" in it. It's a culinary extravaganza of positive reinforcement, and it loves you. Love it back! I adore ratatouille, especially MY way that doesn't involve any stupid bell peppers. Honestly, bell peppers? You have eggplant, zucchini, onions, garlic, and fresh tomatoes... and you want to ruin it with bell peppers? Why would anyone do that?

Anywho, it may be all the Julie & Julia ads I've been seeing around, but I decided that I HAD TO cook ratatouille, and I HAD TO come up with a "new" way to make it. New here meaning "one Ali has not done before, because Ali doesn't feel like looking up the real recipe, and would rather just wing it." Herewith, My New Ratatouille.

Slice into 1/2 inch rounds:

1 eggplant (then halve these rounds into semicircles)

4 large zucchini

2 medium yellow onions

Slice very thinly:

4 large garlic cloves

Dice:

6 medium vine-ripe tomatoes

Set aside:

Extra virgin olive oil

Cooking spray

Herbes de Provence or similar mix*, to taste

Fresh basil, to taste

Sauté the eggplant and zucchini slices in single layers, over medium heat, setting aside when lightly browned on both sides, perhaps 2 minutes per side. Use just enough oil to coat the pan each time. Over medium-high heat, sauté the onion and garlic together, stirring often, just until the transluscent, about 3-4 minutes.

Spray a casserole dish with cooking oil and place the sautéed eggplant in gratin-like rows.

Sprinkle with Herbes de Provence. Next, spoon onions and garlic over the eggplant; add more herbs, approximately the same amount, again, varying for your taste. Add zucchini in neat rows, like the eggplant, and follow with a final dash of herbs.

Top everything with the diced tomatoes.

Cover tightly with aluminum foil. You can make the recipe ahead of time to this point.

Heat the oven to 375º F.

Let the casserole cook with aluminum foil covering it for approximately 20 minutes, longer if you've had it in the refrigerator. You're looking to cook until heated through, though the magical thing about ratatouille is that, in my opinion, you can't really overcook it. It's one of those dishes that can sit around and be reheated over and over, and just get better with each serving. Top with fresh basil! If you've made the amounts above, enjoy for days! Le yum yum!

* I use a pre-made Fresh Direct Provence Classic mix, which includes sea salt and black pepper, so I've not added any salt to the recipe. If you're using fresh Herbes de Provence or a mix without salt, add it with the Herbes de Provence, again, to taste.

Ali's Kitchen: Potato and Onion Gratin with Coconut Milk and Curry

We had some coconut milk around from a curry dish I made over the weekend, so I thought, "What can I do with this slightly less than a cup of coconut milk, lest I waste it and anger the gods for wasting something so tasty?" It was a real quandry.

First, I found this, which doesn't involve coconut milk, but seemed as though it would be complementary. (The mint in those beef patties is what makes it, by the way. The cumin overwhelms them a little so much so that the coriander isn't really apparent, but the mint is just the perfect little pop.)

Then, I realized that coconut milk is "milk," so why not treat it as such and make something of a gratin? And, since we're at it, why not throw some curry in there? Just because. Curry is awesome. (In this case, it was curry pounder, but I suppose I could also have used some Thai red curry sauce.) So we came up with:

- Preheat the oven to 400.
- Slice 2 small yellow onions into thin rounds and saute in a little vegetable oil, just until brown around the edges. Set aside on paper bags or paper towels to degrease a little.
- Mix together a teaspoon of minced garlic (about 1 clove, if you're using fresh because you don't mind having stinky little fingertips), the coconut milk, 1/2 - 1 tsp curry powder, and a pinch of salt. Set aside.
- Slice 2 large (Russet or other baking) potatoes into thin rounds.
- Layer the onions and potatoes in a greased baking dish (onions all in one layer, then potatoes on top; or onion/potato/onion/potato, up to you). Pour the coconut milk mixture over the top and pop it in the oven for and 1 hr 20 min, approximately. Just until the top is nice and crispy and brown.

Le yum yum.

Ali's Kitchen: Poule Au Pot

Bienvenue, mes choux! It's time for a foray into the French countryside with the classic poule au pot. Literally "chicken in a pot," this dish is parfait for Fall, and easy to make ahead for all-week eats. Allons-y! Here are the basics that will make at least 4-6 servings:

INGREDIENTS
4 pints of chicken stock (possibly more: enough to submerge the ingredients in a large, heavy pot)
2 leeks, just the whites and light-greens, halved crosswise and lengthwise (remember: leeks are dirtier than a teenage boy's imagination, so wash, wash, wash in all those little layers)
1 medium white onion, quartered
1 large turnip, peeled and quartered
2 parsnips, peeled and halved crosswise
2 carrots, peeled and halved crosswise
2 celery stalks, cut into 2-inch pieces
Salt & pepper to taste (start with no salt if you're using canned stock/broth)
Bouquet Garni: 3 parsley springs, 1 large bay leaf, 3 springs of thyme (1-2 tsp dried), 1 celery stalk cut in half. Tie all this together with kitchen twine (or the parsley, if it's a little old and not so crisp), or just throw it in there, and strain the broth when you're serving later, so you don't end up munching on the parsley or bay leaf.
Approx. 8 chicken pieces, or 3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut into 2-inch chunks

PREPARATION
1. In your large pot, bring the chicken stock to a boil. If using boneless, skinless chicken breasts, boil your vegetables and Bouquet Garni for about 20 minutes, or until just slightly tender.





2. Add the chicken breasts, bring back to a boil, then reduce to a SIMMER (not boil, or the chicken will get tough), partially covered until the chicken is cooked through, about 5-10 minutes (this is obviously contingent on whether your chicken has bones, and/or how small the breast chunks are which you've cut; check doneness often so as not to overcook).

Serve in a shallow bowl with your favorite moisture-absorbing carbohydrate (for instance, a parbaked ciabatta loaf that needs to get out of your freezer before it's completely useless). Make sure everyone gets a little of everything in his or her bowl.

Le yum yum!

THIS RECIPE'S VERSATILITY MAKES IT GREAT!
* If you can't find "stock," just use broth.
* You can use whichever chicken parts you prefer. If using thighs, or parts from a whole chicken, boil these for about 10-20 minutes first, depending on their size, before you start cooking the veggies.
* The beauty of these particulary root vegetables is that they don't turn mushy like potatoes if you need to cook the chicken a little longer than you thought.
* If you don't have one big pot, you can cook your veggies in one pot and chicken in another, with a Bouquet Garni for each.



Steal a little of the vegetables' cooking liquid to add to the chicken's broth, for the parsnip, turnip and carrot flavor.
* You can prep the veggies ahead of time and cover, immersed in water:

This is particularly helpful if, say, your husband and his Playstation buddy are monopolizing the living room all afternoon and you are bored. Any excess water the veggies soak up during this time won't matter so much, since they're going to cook in liquid anyway.

* All ingredients and amounts are totally subjective. Need protein? Use more chicken. Veggie freak? Go hog wild. Don't like some of the root veggies listed below? Substitute others (just make sure to add them earlier or later in the cooking process, so they're not under or overcooked).

* You can use 1/2 to 1 chicken breast, and one of each vegetable type, and make this an easy dish for one. If you have to buy some of the veggies, like the leeks, carrots and celery, in bunches, you can refrigerate them and roast later in the week with sausage and mashed potatoes! Unfortunately, since you'll probably get way too much parsley to use before it goes bad, well...

Gives a whole new meaning to "Bouquet," doesn't it?

Post script: It is with much thanks that we bid adieu to our beloved Sony point-and-click and welcome to blogland our brand new Canon, hereafter christened Carlita Canon.

Hola.

Welcome, Carlita, and thanks to Tarot for being such a willing test subject for figuring out what the hell "aperture value" is.

Le meow meow.

Ali's Kitchen: Shellfish with Chipotle and Tequila

I'm REALLY excited about this one because the picture is REALLY PRETTY, and as we all know, presentation is half the battle. See?



I didn't take this picture. Whoever did, please don't sue me. I love you; you're an awesome food photographer.

Here's the gist from Cooking Light:Ingredients1 teaspoon olive oil Cooking spray 1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion (about 1 large) 1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 3/4 cups water 1/4 cup tequila 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 lime) 1 teaspoon ground cumin 2 teaspoons tomato paste 1 1/2 teaspoons chopped seeded chipotle chile, canned in adobo sauce 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 (14.5-ounce) can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained 1 (14-ounce) can fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 24 littleneck clams 1/2 pound sea scallops 1/2 pound peeled and deveined medium shrimp 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 1/4 cup chopped green onions Preparation1. Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add yellow onion, bell pepper, black pepper, and salt to pan; sauté 5 minutes or until tender. Add garlic; sauté 2 minutes. Add 1 3/4 cups water and next 10 ingredients (through chicken broth) to pan. Reduce heat to low, and simmer 12 minutes, stirring occasionally. 2. Arrange clams in a steamer. Cover and steam over boiling water 8 minutes or until shells open. Discard any unopened shells; set aside. 3. Add scallops and shrimp to tomato mixture; cook 7 minutes or just until done. Ladle 2 cups soup into each of 4 large shallow bowls; top each serving with 6 clams, 1 tablespoon cilantro, and 1 tablespoon green onions.

Accompanying this main dish will be some more couscous, and a simple green salad (tatsoi) with the excess green onions.

So, that's what we're aiming for. Ambitions are high. Hopes are... a little tepid, since I don't actually have the "chipotle peppers in adobo" which this recipe calls for. I have ground chipotle powder. At my dad's suggestion (he is a masterful cook), I'm halving the measurement of "chipotle" whatever, which makes this about 1/2 tsp. chipotle pepper I'm using. Other alterations include SHALLOTS instead of yellow onions (why buy more when you already have something vaguely similar in this crappy, crappy economy?); bottled lime juice instead of fresh limes (ditto); chicken broth that I need to get rid of; not having a steamer for the clams; and some shrimp that really, REALLY needs to come out of the freezer, which was the main reason for cooking this recipe, rather than the other pretty ones in the newest issue of Cooking Light. I would also like to take this moment to advocate buying local food and produce. The other main reason I went with this recipe was that our "local dayboat" littleneck clams were on sale. They look AWESOME. At this point of typing I obviously haven't eaten any, but they LOOK great. And they're SO much easier to clean than mussels. I had to debeard ONE clam, as opposed to every mussel I've ever cleaned. I'm also going with our "local dayboat" (which here means Long Island, probably) scallops, which were similarly reduced by the wonder that is Fresh Direct. Cry for not having it. CRY, I TELL YOU, FOR IT IS AWESOME. Except that it doesn't seem to have chipotle peppers canned in adobo sauce at the moment. Oh well. Here we go!

This is one of those recipes that takes A. Lot. Of. Prep. If you are not, for instance, Courtney and never learned how to chop produce professionally, this may take you a long time with all the chopping of the peppers and the onions and the garlic and cilantro and the other onions. And also the measuring of the spices and the tomato paste, etc. Then there's the cleaning the clams (again, not as long as mussels) and the peeling and deveining/cleaning the shrimp.

Shrimp Tip: If you suck at cleaning shrimp, or just don't have a little shrimp de-veiner thingy, just butterfly it (slice it down the back, that is), and, again, if you're like me and can't ever managed to get the poop-or-intestine-or-whatever-that-dark-stuff-is out of the shrimp with the knife itself, a BAMBOO GRILLING SKEWER is great.

Interesting Shrimp Fact: The shrimp I'm using have their poop-or-intestine-or-whatever-that-dark-stuff-is on the BOTTOM. ... WHAT? Who ever heard of that? Also, they're a little freezer burned, but that's not exactly their fault, is it?

So, here are all your ingredients, nice and chopped and prepped, and hopefully you haven't sliced off any of your fingers with your sharp J.A. Henckels knives, which rock hardcore:

Bonus points for me smelling out which square of Saran wrap matched up with which prepared ingredient after this photoshoot

For the clams, since I don't have a steamer, I'm using some of the excess chicken broth mixed with water to steam. Why not, right? This could all go horribly, horribly wrong.

HERE WE GO:

We've already encountered our first unintended alteration: In my frenzy of preparation, I accidentally mixed the salt and pepper in with the other spices, while the recipe calls for them to go in with the olive oil FIRST. No idea how this will affect the food from a chemical/flavor standpoint. Maybe not at all, maybe we'll end up order pizza. [Discovery Channel narrator's voice]

Second problem: WHY DID I PRINT OUT THE RECIPE THIS SMALL?!

Um... wut?

Let's see what's ahead.

So, if you're like me, your stove has a terrible inequity (I almost wrote "iniquity") of heat distribution. This makes it tough to simmer, fry or sautee. But I'm doing my best to simmer the veggie broth for about 12 minutes, over low heat, stirring occasionally.

Since I don't want to overcook the clams, I'm not steaming them yet, but I am pre-heating the steaming liquid so I can cook the clams at basically the same time as the shrimp and scallops. Also, my couscous has already been cooked in the microwave.

While the clam and scallop-shrimp liquids are heating, you can pass your time watching Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

Always diverting

Okay, now we're putting on the shrimp and scallops... and the the clams...

Smells... SPICY. I hope my dad's estimate of the canned-chipotle-to-powdered-chipotle was accurate, otherwise K will be very happy and I will be drinking even more wine. (... It was a stressful day, for the LAST time.)

Okay, TASTES spicy too. Wow. Heat. Yikes. I guess I have no reference for using the chopped canned chipotles peppers vs. chipotle powder, but JEEZ. SPICY.

Anywho, this is what mine turned out looking like:

Looks redder than the recipe photographed for the magazine. On the plus side, look how FAT and JUICY this "local dayboat" clam is:

I'll be making this again, but probably with less freezerburned shrimp and LESS COOKING TIME OVERALL, because this dude lied, and all the seafood should have withstood much less heat. Although the fat clams emerged unscathed. See?

I'm sorry. That's not a clam; it's a feline sous chef sitting in the recycling pile. How terribly misleading of me.

Ali's Kitchen: Southeast Asian Poach-o-rama

So, I was bored of Googling and otherwise searching online for a recipe that fit the particular ingredient I felt like cooking. The solution: A cookbook? NO, you crazy person - that's NEXT time. When in doubt, grope around in the dark and make one up by yourself! This is not to say that I didn't have help. I used Courtney as a frequent sounding board, and she IM'd me some recipe links that backed up ideas that I already had in mind, but wasn't sure about, flavor-matching-wise.

I started off knowing I wanted to base something around the flavor of coriander (the seed, its leaf - cilantro) and the sensation of creaminess. I knew K would want poultry. I Googled around for goat milk-this or buttermilk-that, but all I came up with were fried chicken recipes. THAT's when it hit me to try my OWN concoction, and THAT's when it hit me to try coconut milk. If something (coriander) corresponds well with something as succulent as lamb, then it must match up well with coconut milk, right?

So now you know my train of thought. Here are the fruits of my (and Courtney's) labor:

Coconut Milk-Poached Chicken Breasts* with Couscous**

Ingredients:

Chicken
13.5 oz. Lite Coconut Milk

1 medium to large shallot, diced

2 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp ground cardamom

1/4 tsp saffron powder, or 3 saffron threads

1/4 tsp white pepper

A "shake" of garlic powder

Salt to taste

Lemon zest to taste

3-4 small skinless, boneless chicken breasts (about 1 1/2 lbs.)

3/4 to 1 cup low fat chicken broth

2 tsp (or more) ground coriander

Couscous
Prepackaged couscous
Chicken broth to substitute for water
Pine nuts

* This creates a very mild recipe - much more so than I had intended. Next time we make this, I'll try 1 Tb coriander, more cardamom, a dash more saffron, and definitely more pepper. At least twice what I used here.

** I just happened to have these around. You don't need them; I just like 'em in couscous.

We start off with something very handy for those cooking for 1 or 2 people: Individually packaged chicken breasts. Great for the small household, not so great for the environment.

(It's a lot of plastic, when you think about it.)

Here we go:

Dice your shallots up and toss 'em into the coconut milk. Measure out your spices and swirl together until it's a nice, homogenized mixture. Don't worry if the saffron doesn't release its telltale yellow hue throughout the liquid yet; it will when it heats up.

I was planning to broil this, until Courtney helped me realize that poaching in coconut milk would NOT be a travesty, so I actually marinated the chicken in the liquid for two hours. I have no idea if this makes any difference. I think we made the right decision. To poach (for quicker cooking), slice the chicken breasts into approximately 2-inch chunks. See?

Like zees.

Get the liquid boiling - and - note to self: COCONUT MILK BOILS REALLY, REALLY QUICKLY IN A LE CREUSET. CAREFUL NEXT TIME. Add chicken broth into the boiling liquid, bring back to a boil, and immerse the chicken. I don't really know the first thing about proper poaching, but I kept the cover off, mostly. It didn't end up cooking down so much, because this is a fairly quick cooking method.

During the 7-10 minutes of poaching, cook your couscous like a real American - in the microwave. If you want something a little salty to balance out the coconut milk chicken, substitute the normal water for your extra chicken broth!

Et puis, voilà!

Le yum yum

Feedback from the diners was as follows:

Me: Yum. Could be spicier, but yum. And I finally managed not to over- or under-cook poultry. It's a true miracle.

K: OMG. This is the best meal you've made in, like... maybe ever. You could open a restaurant based on this meal.

(He's biased, but still. It counts a little, right?)

Tarot: WUT U MEAN I NO CAN HAS CHIKEN BECUZ UV ONION? SMELLS GUD. WANT! WAAAANT! DEATH STARE!

Courtney: Tacos de Pescado

You love tacos. You really do. You can't understand why anyone wouldn't. You have a waning bottle of Patron, and a sous chef with sympathetic feelings and a camera. He good.

Tonight (well technically last week, but you were lazy about getting the pictures) we will be making tacos de pescado, also known as fish tacos (stop giggling, okay?). These will be relatively simple, unlike overly-decadent Tex-Mex varieties and you will need the following:

For pickled red onion and jalapeños:

1/2 a red onion (halve the whole onion lengthwise, cut thinly crosswise)

3 whole, small japapeños (sliced lengthwise into strips)

1 cup of rice vinegar (though I imagine any vinegar would do...for reasons later revealed we ended up using white wine vinegar)

3 tablespoons of fresh lime juice (I would recommend 2-3 limes)

1 tablespoon of coarse kosher salt (not recommended for direct intake without tequila + lime)

For guacamole:

2 ripe avocados (fat ones preferably, otherwise I would recommend more. In fact, historians have recently disproved that nectar and ambrosia were the food of the gods, and that instead Zeus and the rest of the Olympians actually feasted on avocados and tequila with lime.)

The other 1/2 of your red onion (diced into very small pieces or your sous chef will redo the work for you)

2 cloves of garlic (minced)

2 limes

fresh cilantro chopped (this, as well as most things I do not really measure. I add what feels right. So go ahead, do what FEELS right. I'm adamant fresh cilantro be used. Fo' real.)

salt and pepper to taste

For fish:

1 cup of buttermilk

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1 1/2 tablespoons hot pepper sauce (be careful of this around small children, pets and your orally-fixated sous chef)

1 1/2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt (divided)

1 lime

1 pound tilapia fillets (because it was on sale, but you may also use halibut, sea bass, striped bass) (cut into 1/2 inch strips)

Additional:

2 tomatoes (diced)

a package of little corn tortillas (ours had 12 inside and that was beyond plenty)

1 cup of self-rising flour (logically I would assume this means flour WITH yeast. We purchased some yeast on the side, but forgot to use it. Oops.)

Vegetable oil for frying

tequila (optional)

rum (optional)

Looza nectars (such as Banana, Passion Fruit, Mango, or all three) (optional)

clothing (VERY optional)

Pickled Onions and Jalapeños come first because they have to pickle:

DO:
Place onion and jalapeños in a heatproof medium-sized bowl.
Mix vinegar and salt in a small saucepan.
Cut your limes in quarters and juice those bitches to join their friends in the saucepan.
Bring your mixture to a boil, stirring until the salt dissolves. (This all should happen pretty quickly).
Pour over onions and jalapeños.
Let stand at room temperature at least 1 hour.
(If you'd like to make in advance, cover and refrigerate).
Drink a mixture of rum and nectar over ice while you cook.

DON'T:
Throw vinegar all over the kitchen and yourself accidentally.
Pout over spilled vinegar.

After you've showered for the second time and smell vinegar free AND have gotten over wasting the remainder of the rice vinegar on polishing the floor (and substitute it with white wine vinegar), it's time to get to mixing together your tilapia!

Tilapia town:

Mix buttermilk, cilantro, pepper sauce, and 1 teaspoon of salt in a large bowl. Juice your lime into there in the same fashion as before. Add fish fillets; toss. Cover and chill at least an hour.

INTERMISSION!!

You have an hour now. Your tilapia's a-brewin'; your onions and jalapeños are stewing in their juices. What are two chefs to do??

FIRST:
Take shots! Open wide. Insert tequila.

Get it all in there!

I recommend a lime, not an avocado.

SECOND:

So now you've done a shot, but there is still so much time left to squander. While you do a quick perusal of your closet, your sous chef should take the time to search for stripper-esque music on Pandora. Then, be sure to give your sous chef a strip show on your coffee table in a spur of the moment school girl outfit to thank him for all his hard work.

DO:
Brag that the skirt you are dancing in was purchased in high school.
Rock out in your silver pumps with red argyle heart socks on.
Have fun and put on red lipstick.
Give your sous chef a perma-grin.

DON'T:
Feel it necessary to mention that the skirt doesn't really fit you that well (the point is you can get it on and it's still below your belly button).
Forget to give you sous chef the $10-spot you owe him for your share of the supplies.

Knock over your drink. (I know, again??)

OK, approximately an hour should have gone by during all these shenanigans. You should probably return to making dinner now. What are you doing? Stop that! Well...okay...

Tilapia: the sequel:

Whisk flour and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoon of salt in a medium-sized bowl. Add enough oil to a large skillet to reach the depth of 1 inch. Heat the oil until thermometer registers 350˚F. (Your sous chef is doing this while you prepare the guacamole, so you're not really sure how long he waited for the oil to heat. Also, you don't have a thermometer as far as you can remember...hell, you don't even have a full set of measuring cups...later your sous chef informs you he's not very good at frying things. Realize you don't really care. You have rum in your non-stirring hand and it all smells awesome anyway.) Working in batches, remove fish from marinade and dredge in flour. Carefully add fish to skillet, cover partially, and fry until golden brown, turning occasionally, about 4 minutes. Transfer to paper towel lined baking sheet to drain.

Guacamole, mi amore:

So you've given your sous chef the task of frying fish because you LOVE making guacamole. I like to get the garlic chopping out of the way first. Slice each clove thinly and then let your knife walk all over those little slivers. Your knife was made for walking. I promise. Mince finely and toss into yet another medium-sized bowl (you apparently have an ARMY of these, or like me keep washing out the same 2).

Dice your remaining red onion 1/2 and throw in.

Now it's time to have your way with the avocados. Slice around the pit with your knife in a circular motion. Take each half with one hand, twist and pull apart. Marvel at how good you are at picking out avocados. Repeat with second avocado. Now for the pit.
Carefully hack your chef knife into the pit so it's in solidly, twist your knife like deadly little Miho from Sin City and pull. Discard into the trash. Repeat.

Slice your avocado halves lengthwise and crosswise into the shell so you have a checkerboard pattern when you are done. Think about Tetris for a minute as you push the avocado out of the shell from the bottom into the bowl. Reverse Tetris.

When you have all that goodness in the bowl (feel free to use a spoon to help you) coarse chop your cilantro (or more finely according to preference) and juice those limes. Grind in some pepper (I used regular ground black pepper and also fresh ground mix of many colored peppercorns) and salt to taste.

Mash with a fork, or your favorite mashing utensil. Don't be afraid to taste as you go, adding lime, salt, and pepper as needed. Take your time. Your sous chef has all that fish to make (because you are doing this while he is slaving over the stove).

I prefer my guacamole to have a lot of avocado chunks in it, instead of being really smooth like store-bought brands. Avocado is really amazing, but once I put it in my hair because I heard that was supposed to be a good thing to do. It really wasn't. My hair felt really dried out and I got slightly panicked. Technically, it makes no sense to me. Avocado oil? How was that missing from this equation? It seemed like a model avocado...

Anyway, quickly pop your tortillas into the microwave, separated by sheets of paper towels. Zap them for 30 seconds.

Voila! You are finito! Now you can take it directly to the mouth and taste it, much like this instruction manual for eating ranbutans. Following this recipe will make more than plenty for two people.