I'll tell ya friggin what! Pull some stuff out of the freezer and get crackin'! Tonight we're cooking Scallops Fiorentino, with all ingredients either from the freezer or pantry: No "fresh" ingredients. Gross? Maybe. But awesome. And cheap. So EXTRA awesome.
First, let's acknowledge how you're feeling if you're cooking this kind of meal: Tired. Observe:
You're tired, and you remember you have some scallops in the freezer that you ordered in October or so, and haven't cooked yet because your husband/dining partner/self decided they didn't feel like eating scallops anytime between October and now. However, last night, the magic word "scallops" was spoken. What a lucky stroke! However, how do you spice up frozen scallops? First, see if there are any fresh herbs lying around. Since you cooked rice with tarragon and dill earlier this week, it's good odds that some of those herbs are still edible. Let's take a look:
That tarragon may LOOK frightening, but give it a sniff, and I bet you'll find that:
It's still perfectly edible! Especially with a dish involving scallops, or something else that will mask anything off-color.
Second, you've got to deal with energy levels, because, even though you're cooking with frozen food, you're still cooking, and therefore must be vigilant. Wake up! You know what will help you wake up? Your Super Fabulous Apron of Fabulousness!:
All right! Now you're all set! First things first: Since we're calling this dish "Scallops Fiorentino," we better have some spinach somewhere, since that's apparently what "Fiorentino" means, where Americans are concerned. In our case, we have some frozen, chopped spinach that's been there for at least as long as the scallops, if not longer. Here's our full arsenal:
Some icky-looking but nice-smelling tarragon; a few garlic cloves that have been around for a month or so, but are still great since garlic has antibiotic properties, and therefore keeps for a long time; linguine; scallops; and salt & pepper.
Suddenly, we're getting a divine inspiration, and we decide to coat the scallops with some sort of Parmesan cheese! Awesome! This is what was in MY fridge, but use whatever you have:
Now that we have everything assembled, I'd say start by SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY defrosting the scallops. Do this in the microwave, at defrost or at least half strength, checking at least every two minutes or so. I'm working with about a pound of good-quality sea scallops, but I'm not going to slap a time on this. Just check, and keep checking, and don't over-thaw! For God's sake! The scallops should be thawed when they separate somewhat easily with a fork. Try turning them and shaking them about if they don't want to separate after four minutes or so. Try not to tear them, but if you do, eh. They'll still taste the same, and this is a FAST dinner, not a PRETTY one.
When the scallops are thawed, get a big Tupperware or other wide container and sprinkle in a generous layer of Parmesan (or whatever). Drain the excess liquid from the thawed scallops and toss them into the Parm (or whatever) until coated on all sides. Now they can sit until needed. If you have to go elope or something else that takes a long time, pop them in the fridge; otherwise, don't bother.
At this point, boil your pasta water and, when that's boiling, plop the pasta in. During the boiling and pasta-cooking time, go ahead and slice (don't dice) your garlic, and roughly chop your tarragon. An AWESOME trick I learned from my mom is to press each garlic clove under your knife, as this makes peeling much easier. Also, since we aren't dicing (it takes too long and makes your fingers stinky), pressing a little yields extra flavor.
Heat some olive oil and butter (or cooking-friendly substitute) in a big pan. The amount depends on how many scallops you're cooking; I went with about half of the canonical amount, which gave me about 1 Tb. olive oil and 1/2 Tb. "butter." When that's heated, toss in your garlic and cook over med-high heat JUST UNTIL BROWNED. DO NOT BURN IT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. BURNT GARLIC TASTES LIKE ASS.
During all of this, if you're using frozen spinach (please, don't use canned), you can be leisurely thawing it. There's no rush on this, but it usually takes about 8 minutes, FYI. Also, when your pasta is done, drain and toss with about 1/2 or 1 Tb. olive oil to keep it from sticking together. This also helps bring in the last bit of oil that you've cut out from the scallops, without giving you a too-oily, greasy dish overall.
When your garlic is browned, toss in your "Parmesan"-coated scallops. Honestly, I never time scallops; I just eyeball them. I toss them intermittently and keep an eye out for increasing opacity. How done or rare you like your scallops is totally subjective, which also makes timing irrelevant. The spinach and pasta can be done at least five minutes before all of this if, like me, you're awful at multi-tasking in the kitchen.
Also, you may want to give your sous-chef a pat. Otherwise, he might claw down your pants:
When your spinach is done, I recommend tossing it into your pasta, especially if your spouse or dining partner is averse to green things. THAT way he/she won't be able to avoid eating green! Ha HA!
A recommended wine for scallops (and indeed much fish) is:
Quincy is a Loire Valley wine made from Sauvignon Blanc grapes, usually producing a dry, somewhat acidic wine. It usually tastes best with food, but is also an enjoyable apéritif. Also, if you pronounce is "kwin-see," I might slap you. It's like "canh-si." It's a French word. Please pronounce as such.
Et voilà, your finished product:
FYI, those aren't walnuts which I simply forgot to mention: That's what the garlic and Parmesan do when they stick together in oil at medium-high heat. Eating them is like eating a happy explosion of salt and dairy, a.k.a., the best thing imaginable.
Remember: Your sous-chef will probably want in on this freezer experiment, however, keep in mind that feline sous-chefs, like mine, can't eat garlic. Sorry, sous-chef. I'll give you some turkey later.
Halfway through the meal, realize, HOLY CRAP! WE FORGOT TO ADD ANY SALT OR PEPPER! BECAUSE WE WERE TIRED!
However, either because frozen food secretly involves extra salt, or because the "Parmesan" and "butter" we were using involves extra salt we aren't told about, no one - even our salt-crazy husband - noticed the absence! Success!
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