Sorry to post twice in one week (annoying), but I'm excited about this one...
I was watching Food Network, which I am not wont to do. I was waiting for Throwdown with Bobby Flay to come on to see Amalah make her Basic Cable debut. I tuned in about half an hour early because TV has superseded most other habits in our house, and there was Alton Brown on Good Eats, which has disturbingly behind-the-times graphics, and I wish someone would tell their producers.
The episode was all about pouch cooking, which sent me into the euphoria of memory that is Reminiscing About Sleepaway Camp. What a great freaking place. GOD I LOVED IT. I was terrible at Arts & Crafts and never took it, but I was GREAT at "Outdoor Survival," which, when the Born Agains took over from the lesbians my last year there, became "Outdoor Living," which is just NOT as appealing for those of us who are obsessed with The Road and its ilk, but I took it anyway, even though we just ended up making herbal masks and learning that when you put cream or foundation on you're supposed to apply UP, against gravity, so you don't become a wrinkly, saggy wife for your dashing husband because he is the Priesthead in your Born Again family. Or something. ANYWHO. Every year in Outdoor Survival we had an actual camp-out night where we would do such rugged things as take a big white van to a field about 15 minutes away, set up easy-to-set-up tents and CAMP. At CAMP. GO FIGURE. This camping night always, ALWAYS involved (before the S'mores) Hobo Dinners, which basically consist of a choice of: pre-cooked ground beef or tofu, diced potatoes, onions, peppers, Worcestershire sauce, and cheese. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Thus began my love of food cooked in pouch form. (Please see: Samosas, Empanadas, Tamales, Stuffed Potatoes, Calzones, et al.)
Well, this meal is not that. We're not 11 anymore, and we're not in Alabama burning lots of calories climbing rocks and canoeing anymore, so we need a slightly less calorie-dense selection for our average work-from-home New York City Wednesday night. Hence, salmon and veggies. I'm adding MORE veggies, because it's ME, and I'm adding more spice (coriander and pepper) than is called for, because, again, HELLO, look who is typing this.
Here we go:
Food Network "Good Eats," courtesy of Alton Brown
Ingredients (which we double, since we're making 2 pouches):
1/3 cup julienned fennel bulb
1/3 cup julienned leeks, white part only
1/3 cup julienned carrots
1/3 cup julienned snow peas
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon whole coriander seed, ground fine
1 (8-ounce) salmon fillet, pin bones removed
1 orange cut into wedges with white, pithy membrane removed
1 tablespoon dry vermouth
Some modifications on my part: Obviously, I'm using more spice and less salt, because that's my M.O. Also, we don't have vermouth. I'll be using a little white wine (vermouth is, after all, just fortified wine with spices, so it must be sort of close, right?). Lastly, we did BUY snowpeas with this batch of groceries, but we are not USING them here. We'll probably eat them with hummus.
Now, Alton says to:
Take a 15 by 36-inch piece of parchment paper and fold in 1/2 like a book. Draw
a large 1/2 heart on paper with fold of paper being the center of the heart. Cut
out heart and open. Lay fennel, leeks, carrots, and snow peas on parchment in
center to 1 side of fold. Mix together salt, pepper, and ground coriander.
Sprinkle vegetables with 1/2 of salt, pepper, and coriander. Lay salmon on top
of vegetables and season with remaining salt, pepper and coriander. Top with the
orange wedges and sprinkle with vermouth. Fold other side of heart over fish and
starting at top of heart shape, fold up both edges of parchment, overlapping
folds as you move along. Once you reach the end tip, twist several times to
secure tightly. Place on microwave safe plate and cook for 4 minutes, on high in
microwave, or until fish reaches 131 degrees. Open parchment carefully and serve
for a complete meal.
I disagree that this is a complete meal. We're adding some couscous, because we still have a bunch in the pantry. Also, I shan't be using the microwave, since it would be annoying to do ONE, then the OTHER. We're doing it in the oven at 425 for 12ish minutes.
Let's get started!
First, let's admire all the produce:
Green, lush, and DIRTY. WHY IS IT SO DIRTY? Oh yeah, it's organic. I didn't actually order organic; they apparently ran out of non-organic because everyone's trying to save money. (In that vein, I would like to point out that I'm using U.S. farm raised salmon, when I'd really prefer to use wild due to its superior muscle tone and protein-to-fat ration. BUT IT'S TOO PRICEY, DAMMIT.) (And I have no idea which one has more mercury vs. which one has more amino acids, but I do feel that, often, we're told to do one this for the Earth and a totally different thing for our longevity. It DOESN'T. MAKE. SENSE.)
Ahem hem. Also, these oranges look like they were kidnapped from their tree home a little early. They're pretty green. Check them out when compared to green and orange produce. Which one do YOU think they more closely resemble:
Mmmmm they actually taste great! Better than they should, by rights, being July oranges and all. I'm still a little skeptical about their use in this dish, but Mr. Brown is the one making lots of money off telling people how to cook, so...
As far as julienned vegetables are concerned... well... my primary association with julienned anything is Aladdin. And it looked pretty easy in that, but that guy had some kind of magical chopper he was trying to pawn off on his audience, so... I'm thinking I might have to watch my fingers using an actual knife, and that it might take a little longer than 2 seconds of animation cels. A few notes on these vegetables:
Now, I love leeks even more than I love the Scrubs musical episode, but leeks are DIRTY. They are a naughty, evil girl, and she must be punished ground-growing veggies related to onions, so you will find silt and dirt caked into all their tiny crevices. (Sorry. Watched Monty Python & the Holy Grail the other day.) So make sure to rinse, rinse, rinse! And don't put them with the other veggies when julienned, just in case you need to re-rinse. You don't want that grit ending up everywhere.
As far as fennel, the closest contact I've had with a fennel bulb is watching the cooks at Aquavit chop them while engaging in thinly-veiled sexual harassment. Ah, the restaurant industry. I miss it. No, wait...
So, here we go. It's pouch assembling time!
Remember how I said I was bad at Arts & Crafts? Well, I'm also bad a Physics, Geometry, and Basic Common Sense. Here's what I ended up with on my first pouch cut:
Okay, abandoning the heart shape for sort of a huge... pill shape. Yeah. Anyway, put on your vegetables,and as Alton (my new best friend) repeatedly says on the TV version of this recipe, "Architecture matters!" In other words, don't, you know, build it like this:
Here we have our assembled product:
Follow the folding instructions, then let's pop 'em in the oven at 425 for 12 minutes.
We will return after the following PSA from our feline sous chef:
Sometimez paper towelz haz to be sacrificed to bunny-kick-evisceration godz. Ta da!
And now, a roundup that I'm going to try to include from now on.
Favorite things about this dish: Cleanup? Zero. Cleanup consists only of rinsing off or sticking into the dishwasher a couple of knives and cutting boards. THAT'S IT. Also, extra points for tastiness.
Least favorite things about this dish: "Julienned" must be code for "this sucks." Also, you SAW that I said I HALVED the salt. Well... I DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG. The vegetables were SO salty I couldn't even eat them! What happened?! Thoughts??
Surprising thing about this dish: The oranges? Were a great touch. I was NOT expecting that.
New skill learned: Cooking in a pouch. 'Nuff said.
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