Yum Yum Cooking Club

Ali's Kitchen: Apples For Rosh Hashanah

2009-09-18T10:53:00.003-04:00

All right, you shiksas. This evening is the first night of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Two of the best-known culinary symbols of Rosh Hashanah are apples and honey. (If you didn't already know that, shame on you, and also you must never have read All-of-a-kind Family books in fourth grade.)

Accordingly, a very simple apple tart:

Take your basic pie shell recipe and cut to fit tartlet pans. (Notice how I actually bought some this time.) Blind bake at 375° for about 15 minutes, first brushing all over (not just the edges) with egg white, to create a waterproof layer. This will block out excess moisture from non-traditional pie apples, and keep your crust from being soggy.

Core and halve however many apples you need for however many tarts you're making. (Dough for one 10-inch pie shell makes dough for approximately 6 traditional French tartlet pans, so, 3 apples.) Slice each apple half into 1/4-inch thick slices, and lay each apple half right into a tart, trimming the ends to the apple fits easily. Sprinkle to taste with sugar, cinnamon, and any other spices you enjoy in apples pie. Brush the entire surface (apple and crust edges) with melted, unsalted butter. (I used less than 2 Tb for 6 tartlets.) Bake for just about 20-30 minutes at 400°. They should be golden brown, and the apples should be soft.

Note: These look pretty, right? But they're a little hard to eat without the entire apple halve trying to jump into your mouth in one bite. You can slice the apples both vertically and horizontally before baking and laying in the crusts, to make for easier eating. It'll still be pretty!

Happy New Year. ^_^

Ali's Kitchen: Anniversary Special: Baking

2009-09-08T19:45:00.001-04:00

The past several days, I've been big on the baking. On Friday I snagged a Cioppino recipe from Cooking Light and set to making my own bread to go with it. I used a very basic recipe from How to Cook Everything:

3 1/2 c. flour

2 tsp salt

1 tsp yeast

Scant 1 1/2 c. water

The recipe calls for, when making by hand instead of a food processor since some of us do not have room in our kitchens for food processors, mixing half the flour with all the salt and yeast, then stirring in all the water. Add the rest of the flour until completely mixed and just cohesive enough to knead. Knead, using minimal flour for surface and dough, for 20 minutes, until much firmer and more elastic, but still quite sticky. Set in a bowl and cover tightly with plastic wrap for 2-3 hours (or for a longer time, if you're going for sourdough). When the dough has approximately doubled, cut into 3 or 4 sections, roll into balls, and let sit under a towel for about 20 minutes. Flatten each dough ball into a disc, then fold the disc over on itself twice, sealing the seam each time. Roll (again, on a lightly floured surface) into ropes and place, seam side up, on a sturdy piece of cotton (such as a clean tablecloth). Fold part of the cloth over the dough and allow to rise for another 1-2 hours. 30 minutes prior to baking, preheat the oven to 450. Just before baking, slice the tops of the dough several times, and spray the inside of the oven to create steam. Bake for five minutes in the center of the oven, and spray again at 5 minutes to create more steam. Bake for another 25-30 minutes, until the tops are golden brown.

See that? That's too damn skinny for a baguette. The flavor was good (I added herbs and garlic into the fold-and-roll step), but they were too dense, and very chewy. If you Google this problem, you'll find suggestions from "too much kneading" to "not enough kneading" to "too much extra flour during kneading" to "not enough flour during kneading." So I had no idea what I really did wrong, though I suspect it had something to do with too much extra flour and not enough kneading time. BUT APPARENTLY YOU NEVER KNOW. You know what I noticed when I went to make the bread again tonight (Tuesday)? The How to Cook Everything recipe calls for rapid-rising yeast. I have plain old traditional yeast. That maaaay have had something to do with it. So guess what I did today when baking this same baguette again to go with anniversary lobster? I used the whole packet of yeast (about 1 Tb). Guess what? That worked juuuust fiiiine. They were still a little chewy, and the crust is so crusty it would make a Frenchman wince, so I've clearly still got some figuring to do. But, on the whole, don't these look basically like baguettes?

Since tonight was our second anniversary, I made a special dessert. Whereas last year I did a cake that attempted to recall our wedding cake, this year I've been baking muffins and cupcakes so often that I wanted to do something a little different. Enter Alice Waters' The Art of Simple Food and her lemon curd made with pâte sucré tartelettes. They didn't come out particularly prettily, but that's my own fault for not shilling out the bucks for tartelette pans and using muffin tins instead. (Yeah, I really did. lulz.)

The raspberry was my idea, thankyouverymuch. ^_^

Pâte Sucré

from Alice Waters' "The Art of Simple Food"

Beat together until creamy:

8 tablespoons butter

1/3 cup sugar

Add and mix until completely combined:

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. vanilla extract

1 egg yolk

Add:

1 1/4 c. all-purpose unbleached flour (*I used whole grain pastry flour instead*)

Mix well, stirring and folding, until there are no dry patches. Chill for at least 4 hours, until firm. Roll out between two sheets of floured waxed paper. Roll out to about 1/8 in. thick, popping it into the freezer briefly if it becomes too stick to work with while rolling. Cut out the dough according to the size of tarte, tartelette, etc. I ended up using an old cocktail glass dipped in flour, which was about the right size for muffin tins. Press the dough gently into your baking container, sealing any cracks with extra dough. Trim excess dough at the top by gently pressing with thumb and index finer. Chill the dough for at least 15 minutes before baking. Bake the chilled shells in a preheated 350 degree oven for 15 minutes, or until an even light gold in color. Halfway through the baking, remove the tart shells from the oven and lightly pat down any bubbles that may have formed.

Lemon Curd

Wash and dry:

4 lemons

Grate the zest of one of the lemons on the small holes of a grater. Juice the lemons; there should be about 1/2 c. juice.

Beat until just mixed:

2 eggs

3 egg yolks

2 Tb milk

1/3 c. sugar

1/4 tsp salt

Stir in the lemon juice and zest and add:

6 Tb butter, cut into small pieces

Cook the mixture in a small nonreactive heavy pan (*I used a Paul Revere stainless steel saucepan - which are relatively light and copper bottomed on the outside. This is apparently a nonreactive pan, which I discovered when I actually made the stuff, because I'm daring like that.*), stirring constantly, over medium heat until it is thick enough to coat a spoon. Do not boil or the eggs will curdle.

This is where I deviated: I believe Waters would have you pour the curd into the pre-baked pastry shells and cook at 375 only until the curd is set - before it has thickened completely in the pot. I let it thicken completely then cook to an almost cheesecake-meets-lemon-bar consistency, about 20 minutes. THERE. WERE. SO. GOOD.

Because of my funky tartelette sizes, I ended up with a bit of extra lemon curd, so I poured that into some pretty teacups (which Courtney gave me for my bridal shower), topped with some extra lemon zest, and a couple of blackberries.

However you're enjoying lemon curd, make sure you chill it for at least 2 hours before serving. Paradoxically, you need to take it out of the fridge at least an hour before serving. Now figure *that* one out if you have to cook-then-serve. I made them about 24 hours before eating, and they were fantastic. Definitely great for a celebration!

Le yum yum!

2009-08-04T19:45:00.003-04:00

I got to thinking today: "If one cannot afford to go to the tropics in this economy, ought one not at least have a taste of said tropics?"

"Yes," I decided, "one ought."

Hummingbird Cupcakes

with cream cheese frosting

adapted from marthastewart.com recipes

(if I changed something, that ingredient is marked with *)

For cake:

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Sift together in a medium bowl:

*1 1/2 c. cake flour

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. salt

Beat together in a large bowl:

*3/4 c. Smart Balance Light butter substitute, softened

1 tsp. vanilla extract

*1/2 c. Splenda Brown Sugar Blend

Add and whisk until fluffy:

1 large egg plus one white or yolk

Combine in a large bowl, then stir into egg mixture:

2 ripe bananas, mashed

1/2 c. unsweetened, drained, crushed pineapple (canned in pineapple juice)

*1/2 c. sliced almonds

Stir flour mixture into egg mixture. Divide into cupcake cups, and bake about 26-28 minutes, rotating from the top rack to bottom rack about halfway through.

For the frosting:

All ingredients should be room temperature.

Cream together until well-blended:

*6 oz. reduced fat plain cream cheese

3/4 stick of butter

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Gradually add:

3/4 lb. confectioner's sugar

Notes on some of the changes:

I used almonds instead of walnuts or pecans because we already had them, and because they pack a little better nutritional punch than pecans do. I'd wager a guess, though, that macadamia nuts would be awesome.

I omitted coconut from the recipe because the only coconut I could find was already sweetened, which would make each one of these cupcakes face-scrunchingly sweet, even if you rinse off the pineapple, cut the sugar content, and use unripe bananas. We still got the coconut kick, though: instead of topping with a pretty pineapple blossom (though I do intend to do that one day, since it's so cute), I sprinkled some coconut on top of the iced cupcakes.

Finally, the reduced fat cream cheese works just. fine. From some recipes I've seen around teh Interwebs, you can probably even use fat free and get away with it with extra time for mixing out the lumps.

Voilà! Tropical tastes even if you're stuck in a moderate climate. Le yum yum!

Ali's Kitchen: Oui, oui, Ratatouille!

2009-07-31T11:20:00.000-04:00

You know why ratatouille is the perfect food and wants you to eat it all the time? Look at it:

RATATOUILLE

It has the word "oui" in it. It's a culinary extravaganza of positive reinforcement, and it loves you. Love it back! I adore ratatouille, especially MY way that doesn't involve any stupid bell peppers. Honestly, bell peppers? You have eggplant, zucchini, onions, garlic, and fresh tomatoes... and you want to ruin it with bell peppers? Why would anyone do that?

Anywho, it may be all the Julie & Julia ads I've been seeing around, but I decided that I HAD TO cook ratatouille, and I HAD TO come up with a "new" way to make it. New here meaning "one Ali has not done before, because Ali doesn't feel like looking up the real recipe, and would rather just wing it." Herewith, My New Ratatouille.

Slice into 1/2 inch rounds:

1 eggplant (then halve these rounds into semicircles)

4 large zucchini

2 medium yellow onions

Slice very thinly:

4 large garlic cloves

Dice:

6 medium vine-ripe tomatoes

Set aside:

Extra virgin olive oil

Cooking spray

Herbes de Provence or similar mix*, to taste

Fresh basil, to taste

Sauté the eggplant and zucchini slices in single layers, over medium heat, setting aside when lightly browned on both sides, perhaps 2 minutes per side. Use just enough oil to coat the pan each time. Over medium-high heat, sauté the onion and garlic together, stirring often, just until the transluscent, about 3-4 minutes.

Spray a casserole dish with cooking oil and place the sautéed eggplant in gratin-like rows.

Sprinkle with Herbes de Provence. Next, spoon onions and garlic over the eggplant; add more herbs, approximately the same amount, again, varying for your taste. Add zucchini in neat rows, like the eggplant, and follow with a final dash of herbs.

Top everything with the diced tomatoes.

Cover tightly with aluminum foil. You can make the recipe ahead of time to this point.

Heat the oven to 375º F.

Let the casserole cook with aluminum foil covering it for approximately 20 minutes, longer if you've had it in the refrigerator. You're looking to cook until heated through, though the magical thing about ratatouille is that, in my opinion, you can't really overcook it. It's one of those dishes that can sit around and be reheated over and over, and just get better with each serving. Top with fresh basil! If you've made the amounts above, enjoy for days! Le yum yum!

* I use a pre-made Fresh Direct Provence Classic mix, which includes sea salt and black pepper, so I've not added any salt to the recipe. If you're using fresh Herbes de Provence or a mix without salt, add it with the Herbes de Provence, again, to taste.

Ali's Kitchen: Fresh Fig Scones

2009-07-18T16:35:00.002-04:00

I love scones. I love them. I love them so much. So very, very much. I love scones.

I love figs. I love fresh figs. Fresh figs are pretty much the epitome of fruit, as far as my tongue is concerned.

I baked some scones. With figs. I love them. I want you to love them too. Love is good, as are scones and figs. Spread the love.

The basic recipe comes from p. 275 of my lovely copy of The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters. As per usual, I modified it to make it lower fat, and of course used fresh fruit instead of dried fruit, one of her great basic-scone-dressing-up suggestions. Now, either one or both of those alterations made the dough rather tough to work with. I imagine that, had I been patient and refrigerated the dough before kneading as you do with bread doughs, it would have been a heckuva lot easier to work with. But, they were scones, with figs, so waiting really wasn't in the cards. I'm sure you understand. Don't judge me, monkey*.

Preheat the oven to 400º

Measure and mix together in a large bowl:

- 2 cups unbleached whole-wheat flour (original recipe calls for pastry flour; I didn't have any; scones will simply be heavier)

- 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

- 1/2 teaspoon salt

- 1/8 cup Splenda Brown Sugar Blend (original recipe call for 1/4 cup sugar)

- 3/4 cup figs, chopped into 1/4-inch pieces

Stir in:

- 1 1/3 cups skim milk (original recipe calls for 1 1/3 cups cream, which I swear I would have used, but we didn't have any)

Mix until the dough just starts to come together; it will be sticky. Turn it out onto a floured surface and knead briefly, just enough to bring the dough completely together. (Remember the basic kneading rule: if it's too sticky, sprinkle on more flour as you go; if it's too dry, sprinkle in some extra milk or water.) Pat it into an 8-inch circle. Brush with:

- 2 tablespoons Smart Balance Lite, melted (original recipe calls for butter)

And sprinkle with:

- 1 tablespoon Splenda Brown Sugar Blend (original recipe calls for 1 1/2 tablespoons sugar)

Cut the circle into 8 wedges and place the wedges 1 inch apart on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 25 minutes for my recipe, 17 minutes with the original recipe, or until golden brown. Common sense tells me that the extra moisture in the fresh figs (as opposed to dry additional ingredients) was responsible for the extra time, but I'm really just making that up.

Voilà:

Le yum yum!

* I will send you a scone (some day) if you can name that movie reference.

Ali's Kitchen: French Fries Substitute

2009-06-17T09:23:00.007-04:00

Making burgers? Have a husband* on a diet, yet you yourself refuse to have a burger without something at least approximating a french fry? I have the solution for you.

Asparagus.

Yes, really. This idea comes courtesy of Sondra Bernstein, chef/owner of the girl & the fig, the awesome, pared-down, scrumptious restaurant where my mom and I enjoyed Mother's Day dinner while in Sonoma. I bought the girl & the fig cookbook, and ever since have been terribly impressed with myself for that sage decision.

Sondra suggests roasting asparagus, on a baking sheet, brushed with a little olive oil (I used Pam Olive Oil spray on the pan itself, then again in a light layer over the asparagus) for about 15 minutes at 400 degrees. In order to imitate that french fry je ne sais quoi, I sprinkled liberally with salt and garlic powder (because I have a fetish for knocking people out with my breath), but you can sprinkle on pretty much whatever spice you associate with french fries, including, I imagine, Cajun seasoning or Lawry's Seasoning Salt if you're going for that glorious overkill one finds when one bites into an ochre-tinged curly french fry. I roasted for less than 15 minutes - probably closer to 10 - and instead of a truly tender asparagus, I was rewarded with a crisp, salty, garlicky, green french fry dopplegänger.

Extra points if, when you went to bag the asparagus, you grabbed purple asparagus without thinking, and then, when you went to pay for the asparagus, you realized it actually cost more per pound than your ground burger meat, or anything else in your basket for that matter, but were too** embarrassed to put it back and acted like you totally knew you were spending nine dollars per pound on asparagus when you put it in the produce bag.

* Or whomever

** I just proofed this post and had to correct "Cajun" from "cajon" and a mix-up of "to" and "too." It may be time to put me down like a horse with a broken leg. What is going on??

Ali's Kitchen: Consume Some Time-Consuming Peach Pie

2009-06-10T10:57:00.007-04:00

If someone tells you to save pie-making time by using a pre-made crust, then he or she is a jerk. What the jerk is not telling you is that there is no way to NOT spend a lot of time on a pie, because cutting up alllll that fruit is going to take you a looong time anyway. So tell the jerk that you've seen through their pathetic attempts to imbue your baking efforts with false hope, and that you'll be making your crust from scratch, thankyouverymuch, following the Alice Walters classic The Art of Simple Food. From pages 174-5:

"Have measured 1/2 cup ice-cold water. Mix together 2 cups all-purpose unbleached flour*, 1/2 teaspoon salt. Add 12 Tb cold butter, cut into 1/4-inch cubes." Cut/work the butter into the flour until moist, then add most of the water until the mixture becomes, well, dough-like. Divide the dough into two spheres, wrap in plastic, press each into a disk shape, and refrigerate for at least an hour. When it's time to roll, flour your counter or board. Press the disk thinly while still in the plastic, then remove the dough from the wrapping and flour the top side. Roll out until a little thicker than 1/8-inch, which should give you approximately the right size to line a 9-inch pie dish. Refrigerate (on wax paper or parchment paper) again so it's easier to work with. Repeat with the 2nd disk of dough. Pre-baking is optional, I believe, and if you choose to do so Walters recommends 375 degrees for about 15 minutes (lined with parchment or foil, weighted with dry beans or other pie weight), then about 5 minutes without the lining.

* I used whole wheat flour, which worked just fine.

I'm not going to type out all of pages 174-5 because a) that's probably copyright infringement, and b) that's a lot of typing. My suggestion is that you go out and purchase The Art of Simple Food right the heck now, because Walters has simply the clearest, easiest-to-follow instructions of any chef out there. Not only are her step-by-steps easy to figure out, but she also includes all kinds of substitutes and contingencies in her recipes. So there you have your basic crust recipe.

If you're like me, you'd think, "Well, while the dough is refrigerating pre-rolling, I'll cut up the peaches and then I'll have plenty of time to clean up because cutting cling-free peaches won't take very long, especially since I'm not peeling them, since peach skins are awesome." This assumption, unfortunately, is based around trusting your grocery store's produce section to properly label cling-free versus cling-stone peaches. If you find that the produce manager has no idea how to differentiate between the two kinds of peach, you have my full permission to find him or her and present them with a lovely banana cream pie. In his or her face. Just don't get arrested for assault.

For the filling and baking time, I pulled the basic Peach and Other Stone Fruit Pies recipe from Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything (p. 689-9).

About 2 lbs. peaches, sliced about 1/4 in. thick (I used a little bit more; and if you're not going to peel them, rub off the fuzz with a clean dish towel)

1 Tb lemon juice (I used Key Lime juice which worked just fine)

1/2 c. sugar (I used 1/4 c. Splenda Brown Sugar Blend which was the perfect amount for my not-quite-totally-ripe peaches)

1/2 tsp almond extract

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 1/2 Tb cornstarch

Milk or egg whites

Preheat the oven to 450. Toss the sliced peaches in the citrus juice. Mix the sugar, almond extract, nutmeg and cornstarch together and toss the mixture into the peaches. Pour fruit mixture into the pie pan (which now, naturally, has one of your pie shells in it). Cover with the second pie shell. I cut my second pie shell into a little lattice crust. You don't need a fancy-shmancy pastry cutter for this, just a nice, sharp paring knife. Brush the crust with milk or egg whites as needed. (The recipe calls for milk, but I really recommend the egg whites instead - you get that nice brown, glazed glow.) Bake for 10 minutes at 450 degrees, then reduce the temperature to 350 and bake for another 40-50 minutes. (Baking with substitute ingredients, like the Splenda blend, tends to increase cooking time, I've noticed. It's hard to overcook a pie, so don't worry too much. If the crust starts to burn around the edges, cover it with aluminum foil while the center turns golden.)

If you discovered you had some extra dough left over after making your lattice crust, drag out the food coloring, get creative, and make yourself a little peach! (Or apple, if it's an apple pie, or cherry, blueberry, etc.)

Le yum yum!

Courtney: The best damn brunch for dinner EVER!

2009-05-17T20:05:00.002-04:00

Now I'm sorry I don't have a picture reference, but this actually is a very simple meal to make. After a hard day of cleaning house (and I mean CLEANING...as in, scrubbing grout with a bleachy toothbrush and a paper towel over my nose and mouth, though I think my olfactory senses were still compromised), I was really hungry! My boyfriend came home with some great goodies, so here's what we put together. This was so, so amazing that I simply MUST share (and it probably took 15 minutes to make...yay)!

Step One: THE DRINK

Blend a whole lotta raspberries and a banana or two (probably two if you're making this for two people) and voila! Raspberry/Banana Smoothie. Yum yum!

Step Two: MUSHROOM AND SCALLION SAUTE

Slice up three different types of mushrooms: oyster, shitake and your good old garden variety white buttons. Slice up some scallions. About 4 or 5 should be good. I had probably six but most of the tops were cut off from previous use. Saute these together with some olive oil, and a sprinkle of garlic powder (I usually use fresh but we were being quick, remember?). Salt and pepper to taste. Don't saute too long - just enough that the mushrooms look coated and a little bit wilty. You want the green onions to still look green. I'd say I sauted about 6 or 7 minutes.

Step Three: THE EGGS

I looooove sunny side up eggs. I love dipping bread in the yolk. If you don't like sunny side up eggs I suggest you either change your opinion, or cease and desist making this recipe. It's so good with yolk. SOOOOOO good. So, obviously step three is making 2 sunny side up eggs per person. I like the top to get a little cooked though so I always cover mine while they're cooking. Keep the heat around medium or medium low to minimize the eggs hardening, but I hate it when the white is still runny on top. Yuck. Sprinkle salt and pepper on them before covering. In fact, if you cover them they might not even technically BE sunny side up eggs...I might be operating under an entirely incorrect pretense.

Step Four: THE MINI-ANTIPASTO

Slice up some herbed soppresatta, put a nice goat's milk cheese on a plate with a knife (we had a lovely "chabis" made by Laura Chenel's Chèvre), and some sliced baguette (ours was a black and green olive baguette).

Step Five: MINGLE YOUR FOOD LIKE IT'S 1999

Put the eggs on the plate next to each other with the mushroom saute close by. Arrange some baguette and soppresatta slices on the plate. The best thing about this brunch was the endless amount of combinations you can make and literally everything stacked on top of a baguette round was amazing! My favorite was egg and mushroom saute on baguette, or wait, was it soppresatta with goat cheese and mushrooms, or was it goat cheese and egg yolk on bread with mushrooms and a big ol' piece of soppresatta!? You get it now. Any time you need a sweet break, keep your smoothie nearby for a cleansing sip.

Ali's Kitchen: Potato and Onion Gratin with Coconut Milk and Curry

2009-04-22T19:25:00.003-04:00

We had some coconut milk around from a curry dish I made over the weekend, so I thought, "What can I do with this slightly less than a cup of coconut milk, lest I waste it and anger the gods for wasting something so tasty?" It was a real quandry.

First, I found this, which doesn't involve coconut milk, but seemed as though it would be complementary. (The mint in those beef patties is what makes it, by the way. The cumin overwhelms them a little so much so that the coriander isn't really apparent, but the mint is just the perfect little pop.)

Then, I realized that coconut milk is "milk," so why not treat it as such and make something of a gratin? And, since we're at it, why not throw some curry in there? Just because. Curry is awesome. (In this case, it was curry pounder, but I suppose I could also have used some Thai red curry sauce.) So we came up with:

- Preheat the oven to 400.
- Slice 2 small yellow onions into thin rounds and saute in a little vegetable oil, just until brown around the edges. Set aside on paper bags or paper towels to degrease a little.
- Mix together a teaspoon of minced garlic (about 1 clove, if you're using fresh because you don't mind having stinky little fingertips), the coconut milk, 1/2 - 1 tsp curry powder, and a pinch of salt. Set aside.
- Slice 2 large (Russet or other baking) potatoes into thin rounds.
- Layer the onions and potatoes in a greased baking dish (onions all in one layer, then potatoes on top; or onion/potato/onion/potato, up to you). Pour the coconut milk mixture over the top and pop it in the oven for and 1 hr 20 min, approximately. Just until the top is nice and crispy and brown.

Le yum yum.

Ali's Kitchen: Cupcakes on the Second Try

2009-03-20T17:23:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday (St. Patrick's Day), a friend and I went on a pilgrimage to the Mecca of cupcakes: Magnolia Bakery. The intent was to partake of a green cupcake to celebrate the "holiday." (Extra points for choosing the location that's one block from St. Patrick's Cathedral.) Magnolia came to prominence, as any solid SATC fan knows, through the creation of its now-hallowed red velvet cupcake. As a good Southern girl (sort of), I of course love red velvet cake. Unfortunately, the cupcake in question on the day in question left something to be desired (dry), probably due to the MOBS which descended upon the tiny bakery. This was my first trip to Magnolia, and I suspect they simply weren't on their A game.

Today (Friday), I decided to try my OWN Magnolia Bakery red velvet cupcakes. The recipe is available on Epicurious... or so Epicurious says. Whatever that recipe was did NOT yield ANYTHING even CLOSE to being a successful cupcake, let alone a legendary Magnolia cupcake. I couldn't even eat them, and into the trash they went, even though I felt bad wasting the food. But trust me, even if there were some soup kitchen that accepted home-baked goods, these were so bad that I wouldn't inflict them on anyone, much less someone who is genuinely hungry. With that rationalization helping ease my guilt, I went to work on a DIFFERENT batch of cupcakes (I had to buy buttermilk for the Magnolia recipe, and we'll never use it for anything else here). This batch was FAR more delectable and, dare I even say, cupcake-like.

From Joy of Cooking, Buttermilk Layer Cake

From Ali's head, Buttermilk Layer Cake - The Cupcake Remix

First of all, I halved the recipe, because oh my God, we don't need that many cupcakes here. Working in a small kitchen, I find it helps me to think in terms of groups when preparing a recipe. The ingredients, with their amounts and in their groups, are:

1 c. plus 1/6 c. cake flour (not the self-rising type)

3/4 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. baking soda

1/8 tsp. salt

6 Tb. unsalted butter, softened

4/6 c. sugar

1 whole egg, plus 1 yolk (or, plus 1 1/2 whites)

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 c. buttermilk

Here's your method to make 12 cupcakes:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Make sure all your ingredients are at room temperature (60-70 degrees, that is).

2. Sift group A together and set aside. Beat group B on low or medium speed until nice and creamy, about 2 minutes.

3. Whisk group C together (does not include buttermilk), then stir flour mixture (A) into the butter/sugar/egg mixture (B+C). Alternate adding the flour mixture with the buttermilk, stirring each addition until smooth.

4. Spoon into cupcake cuppies! Bake in the top third of the oven for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a cupcake comes out clean. Let cool COMPLETELY, then frost. If you are actually inspired enough to make your own frosting, I applaud you. I use Pillsbury reduced sugar vanilla, and add some of the leftover red dye from the disastrous attempt at red velvet cupcakes which were, again, a total and utter lie.

Cupcakes: Success

Le yum yum!

Ali's Kitchen: Chicken Breasts With Goat Cheese and Sundried Tomatoes

2009-02-17T18:08:00.003-05:00

Well, howdy. We here at Yum Yum decided to follow in the footsteps of our 43rd President and take January off. It's important to follow the right example, you know. But now the White House is back to work, and so are we. Here's a simple, no-frills recipe that's easy to whip up on a week night, provided you have:

- chicken breasts
- (herbed) goat cheese (or ricotta)
- sundried tomatoes
- olive oil
- your favorite herbs, dried or fresh

I'll just bet you have some sundried tomatoes in your pantry somewhere, either dry-packed or oil-packed. And I know you have olive oil and dried herbs. And I'm just willing to bet that you have some boneless, skinless chicken breasts in your fridge somewhere. This recipe really rests on whether you have some sort of smashable, whippable cheese (which is not cream cheese, for goodness' sake). For the sake of argument, let's say you do. Alrighty then.

1. Rinse and dry your tomatoes (this may follow steeping in warm water if they're dry-packed), then chop coarsely.
2. Depending on how many tomatoes you decide to chop up, plunk a proportional amount of your cheese of choice into a medium bowl. Adjust the portions to your personal tastes; I used roughly 50% more sundried tomatoes than goat cheese.

3. Mix the tomatoes, cheese, a healthy drizzle of olive oil, and a healthier dusting of your herbs (mine was simply basil since I used herbed goat cheese) in the bowl, smooshing and wooshing about until it's somewhat mousse-like, and the entire mixture looks orangey with chunks of red - no pure white from the cheese should be left.

4. Slice your rinsed and dried chicken breasts down the middle (starting from the thicker side) to form a pocket. Fill with the tomato and cheese mixture. Top the chicken breasts with a nice, thick coating of freshly cracked pepper. Pop in the oven (which was preheated to 350, oops) and leave them for about 25 minutes (depending on the size of your chicken breasts).

5. Use your leftover tomato/cheese mixture for a yummy cracker spread for your afternoon snack the next day.

Le yum yum!

My Christmas Cupcakes

2008-12-29T12:52:00.004-05:00

To start, know dear Reader that nothing I make will be as fancy as what my Ali makes. I love the simple things... that is to say the hacks, the corner-cutting route is the way I tend to go. A dinner party at my house is a lot of hiding the take-out boxes and baby vomit stains on the carpet. Enough about my disgusting home life-

All you need to make these is store bought cake mix, store bought icing cans- I used 2 vanilla, one I dyed red- and packaged ice cream cones. I also used green icing in a can by Betty I think (you should know I talk about major brands like they were girlfriends of mine, Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker etc) and various sprinkles and cinnamon candies. I also used green food color in the cupcake mix.

I thought it would be fun to enlist the help of my husband to decorate... let's just say someone was really into it(me!!) and someone was not(His are the ugly ones).

From Dec2008

And now you have amazing (if not mildly offensive looking) cupcakes!!

Ali's Kitchen: Swedish Holiday Treats

2008-12-25T20:31:00.011-05:00

Happy Holidays!

I am ALL about my [admittedly meager] Swedish heritage this year. I may only be about 1/16, but I know the name of my most recent Swedish ancestor (Maria Pollan, née Larson), so that counts for something, I figure. My Nana, who has had a very tough year, always identified with her Swedish heritage, if not necessarily in the kitchen. It'll be a fun, and for me meaningful holiday exercise to attempt a few traditional Swedish recipes.

A word about Swedish holidays:

St. Lucia's Day
Lussekatter
On the feast day of St. Lucia, little Swedish girls (and Norwegian girls and Danish girls and Italian girls and a bunch of girls) dress up in white gowns with red sashes, wear wreaths with burning candles on their heads (yeah, really) and pass out the Christmas presents. You know this if you, like me, had the American Girl Doll Kirsten Larson, who was a plucky Swedish immigrant in 1854 (or something). Kirsten had a St. Lucia's Day outfit, and I think the outfit even came with a little plastic lussekatt, the saffron bun baked and eaten on St. Lucia's Day night. It all sounds terribly cute until you consider the fact that the wreath with candles is supposed to symbolize the *fire that wouldn't burn St. Lucy after she was sentenced to death*. Isn't that festive? I pulled the below recipe from a website to which I will NOT link, because they had all kinds of typos and it was just generally an "off" recipe, so I had to modify.

Jul/Midwinter
Glögg
The Yule is celebrated on December 24th in Sweden, though it's also tied to the old Germanic pagan festivals related to the Winter Solstice on December 21st. This is the day when Swedes tie one on and really enjoy their version of spiced mulled wine: glögg (pronounced something like "glug"). There are so many various recipes for glögg that you can feel free to assemble the main ingredients and use them in whatever proportions please you best.

Any Swedish Holiday At All
Köttbullar
Swedish. Meatballs. 'Nuff said. Always, always served with lingonberry preserves. Seriously, in Sweden if you try to eat köttbullar without lingonberries? They will arrest you and beat you. I've provided the classic preparation from Fresh Direct, but I'll outline my method, too.

LUSSEKATTER
(Saffron Buns)
INGREDIENTS
1/4 teaspoon saffron threads 1 cup milk 1 tablespoon yeast 1/2 cup sugar 4 ounces (1 stick) unsalted butter 5 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon salt 2 large eggs, beaten 1 beaten egg white for egg wash
PREPARATION
Pound saffron threads to break down strands. (Ali note: Or just tell the people reading your recipe to get saffron powder, jeez.)
In a small saucepan, heat milk to lukewarm.
Mix yeast with 1/4 cup milk and 1 tablespoon sugar. Set aside.
On low heat, melt butter in saucepan with milk. Add crushed saffron. Let cool.
In large bowl, mix together flour salt and remaining sugar.
Stir yeast into cooled milk mixture. Mix into dry ingredients, beating to mix well. Add beaten eggs.
Knead in bowl for 5 - 7 minutes. (Ali note: Kneading in the bowl is somewhat confining. After the eggs are mixed in well, feel free to jump right to your floured board, or counter, as the case may be.) Turn onto floured board and knead another 7 - 8 minutes. (Ali note: If it's sticking to your little fingers, try adding a bit more flour to your board or counter; that’ll mix in and firm up the consistency a little. Conversely, if it's too DRY to stick to your little fingers, sprinkle some water on as you knead 'til it's about the right texture - something like Play-Doh.) (Don't forget to wash your hands before you start this recipe, including under your filthy little fingernails, you scab.)
Put dough in lightly greased bowl, turn to coat all sides, cover and put in warm, draft-free place to rise for about 1 hour.
When dough has risen, knead lightly to push out air and divide into small pieces (about 10-12). (Ali note: Whoever wrote this recipe was high if they thought this amount of dough makes 10-12 of these things, the size of which would cook in 15 minutes. I ended up with closer to 18, and still needed a little longer in the oven.)
Using the hands, roll each small piece into a strip about 8 - 10 inches long. Shape each strip into an 'S' or a figure 8. (Ali note: For authentic look, place a raisin or currant in the dimples of each bun.)
Place on lightly buttered cookie sheets. Cover with clean cloth and let rise again, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.
Preheat oven to 375°F.
When dough has risen, brush lightly with egg white.
Bake in preheated 375° F oven for 15 minutes, or until lightly browned (which was a bit longer than 15 minutes).
Let cool on wire rack.

GLÖGG
(Um... Glögg)
As noted above, you can make glögg in nearly any way you choose. This is my favorite amalgamation:
INGREDIENTS
1 bottle dry red, such as Cabernet Sauvignon
1 cup brandy
3-4 cinnamon sticks
6-8 cloves
1-2 teaspoons ground cardamom (ideally you use 3-4 whole caramom pods, cracked, but good luck finding those in most grocery stores)
1 tablespoon dried orange peel (or the peel of 1 whole orange)
1/3 cup sugar (ideally brown, but if you're scrimping and just have white, go for it!)
Currants or raisings
Almond slivers
PREPARATION
Simple: Heat. On the stove. For at least 45 minutes. Don't let it reach 170 or so (that means keep it just at steaming and below simmering), unless you want nonalcoholic glögg. A clean meat thermometer is handy for this purpose.
Put a small handful of currants (or raisins) and almond slivers at the bottom of each glass.
Pour the glögg into your glasses through a sieve to strain out the cloves and such, and enjoy.

Skål!

KÖTTBULLAR
(Swedish Meatballs)
I made this with 2 lbs. ground beef (you can also use veal with the beef, about 1/3 to 1/2 the total amount of meat; that's how the restaurants usually do it) instead of 1 1/3 lbs., which is what the original recipe called for. Watching *me*, the literature nerd, try to figure out that sort of conversion? Must have been priceless. I had to appeal to my civil engineer father for guidance. This is what he came up with:
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs
1/2 cup milk
1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
1 egg plus 1 egg white
2 lbs. pounds lean ground beef (But for goodness sake, not too lean.)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper (Most recipes call for white pepper, but this one doesn’t differentiate; I used white)
1/2 tsp allspice
1 tbs butter
1 tbs extra-virgin olive oil

PREPARATION (The "real" way)
Soak breadcrumbs in milk for 5 to 10 minutes until the liquid is absorbed.
To a bowl add onion, egg, ground beef, soaked bread crumbs, all spice, salt and pepper.
Mix all the ingredients together with your hands and shape the meat mixture into small balls, less than an inch in diameter. If the mixture starts to sticks to your hands, wet them with cold water.
Heat a skillet with butter and extra virgin olive oil.
Sauté the meatballs in 3 or 4 batches, turning them frequently to keep the meatballs from sticking. Drain them on paper towels.
Drain the excess olive oil and scrape off and discard any browned bits of meat that may be sticking to pan after the meatballs are done.
To the same pan add butter and flour and stir until it browns.
Quickly add a can of beef stock and bring to a boil, stirring constantly until gravy thickens.
Remove from the heat and serve immediately with the meatballs.

PREPARATION (The weenie way)
Preheat the oven to 400°F.
After you've formed the meatballs as described above, place in a lightly greased, uncovered Pyrex dish.
Cook for about 10-20 minutes, depending on the size of the meatballs; eyeball it and do a touch-test to test for doneness. Rotate halfway through so the entire sphere gets browned as it would have in a frying pan.
Remove from pan, and drain on paper towels; keep warm after draining.
Use pan scrapings to make gravy as described above, adding extra beef broth or stock to increase volume as necessary.

(Sorry for the freaky lighting. Still getting the hang of this new camera!)

Enjoy your Swedish feast, you crazy Vikings! } :- )

(That's clearly a Viking helmet, BTW.)

(Shaddup.)

The Alternate Thanksgiving of Amazingness for Two

2008-11-28T21:38:00.021-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving (belated a day...I was busy thanking & snacking)! Never being one who was overly enthused by turkey, my Thanksgiving menu is both yummier (in my opinion) and faster to make! My plans this holiday to hang out with my dad and step-mom were also shot (due to one bad back and one really bad cold) so this dinner is for two (though technically like, 8 people could have probably eaten this all and been completely satisfied).

The Menu:

Appetizers:

Baked Brie with Figs

Dates

Soppressata salami (yes!)

Entree:

Mixed Peppercorn Beef Tenderloin with Shallot-Port Reduction

Sides:

Brussels Sprouts with Currants and Pine Nuts

Smashed Potatoes with Goat Cheese and Chives

All I can say is this is one of the most fantastic meals I and my uber-wonderful co-chef have ever made (yes, I allowed him to graduate from sous chef since he actually does a lot more than Tarot-the-cat. Similarly, our cat slept in the corner the entire day and only came out of his coma to eat a small piece of beef and later barf on the carpet after eating his cat food too quickly for the second day in a row). The recipes came mostly from Cooking Light's Nov 2008 issue for those who want to know but I've changed a few things around of course.

Baked Brie with Figs:

I made this earlier in the day since I knew it would be way too much at dinner. It's really easy. Get a wheel of brie at the store...mine was actually a relatively big one at 14 oz, but I believe they also come in 4 and 8 oz sizes as well. Preheat your oven to 350. Put the brie rind and all on a pie pan (I had a glass one, but I'm sure putting it on a cookie sheet would be fine too) and brush a little melted butter on it. Arrange slices of fresh figs (if you live in California) on the brie and pop in the oven for about 10-12 minutes, or until it feel nice and soft when you press on the center of it. Take it out and remove the slices of figs and put to the side. Take a fig spread (our favorite is the Organic Adriatic Fig Spread jar with the orange top) and slather on a nice amount right on top of the wheel (again leave the rind...I swear rind is good this way). Put your cooked little figgy slices back on top for decoration. Eat with baguette slices!

Prep Work:

It would have been easier if I had done it this way instead of the kitchen madness that ensued. But it was damn worth it.

-Chop about 4 big shallots up finely...you will need 1/4 cup for the reduction and 1/4 cup for the brussels sprouts so do it all at once.

-Chop up about 3 tbs of fresh chives for the potatoes.

-Take out about 3/4 cup or 6 oz of goat cheese from your fridge. Let it get more room temperature. I got one of those little medallion sized goat cheeses and that seemed about the right amount.

-Peel about 2 lbs of potatoes (in my case I believe this was about 5 medium sized taters). We went for red, but any baking type should do. Chop them into 1" pieces so when you boil them they won't take forever to get soft. Put your pot of cold water on to boil and hey, toss the potatoes in while you're at it for good measure as they should start out in the cold water. Add a pinch of salt in there. Once they boil they should take about 15 minutes of simmering to get soft.

-Chop up a tsp of fresh thyme.

Step One: Start your reduction.

In a saucepan (or in my case I used my medium sized cast iron skillet...just make sure whatever you're using is deep enough to contain all the liquid) combine:

-2 cups of ruby port or other sweet red wine (we went for Krohm Porto ruby port wine)

-1 1/2 cups of fat-free, less-sodium beef broth

-1/4 cup of finely chopped shallots

-1/8 tsp of salt (like I would measure this out...just toss a pinch in!)

-2 sprigs of fresh parsley

-1 spring of fresh thyme

Bring to a boil and let reduce to 1 1/4 cups for about 15-20 minutes. While that's reducing we'll keep going.

Step Two: Get your steak on!

Take out your steaky! First of all I felt a little confused as to what part of the cow a beef tenderloin is, but felt it had to do something with filet mignon. Basically, I think I learned the filet is the end of the entire tenderloin, but the important thing is: Can I find it in a grocery store? So while perusing the meat dept. at my local Safeway I only found giant 6 lb tenderloins or individual filet steaks. Quite the discrepancy. My recipe calls for a two lb tenderloin so if you're making this for two I suggest taking it down to 1 1/2 lbs or maybe even 1 lb. The thing is, this meat came out so good you may want the 1 1/2 just for after dinner, pre-Thanksgiving coma snacking. Which is exactly what I asked my Safeway meat girl. She came back with a 1 1/2 lb filet mignon but all in one piece (instead of in individual steak or medallion size) and it was damn pretty.

Ok, now press about 1 tsp of salt and 1 1/2 tbs of cracked mixed peppercorns into the outside of your steak. Instead of making this in the oven in a shallow roasting pan as the recipe called for, we decided to heat our oven to 350 and then sear the tenderloin for about a minute on each side in a cast iron skillet with a little olive oil on the stove. Once that's done just toss it in the oven for about 20-25 minutes in the same skillet (NOTE: this only works if you have a cast iron skillet. Non-stick varieties need not apply). If you'd rather the original method the recipe called for putting it in the roasting pan with some spray oil for 33 minutes at 450. But I like my steak a bit rarer.

Now this is when the lightning speed happened. I actually had to turn my steak off and just let it chill for a while because my reduction was taking too long. I don't want that to happen to you so....that's why I'm having you start the reduction first.

Step Three: I'm be-SIDES myself!

So that last step is really quick. Hopefully your potatoes are soft now. Technically your boyfriend did this part of the meal so he should have to write this up but he looks busy connected to his laptop. So! (Status update: He is editing the photos for this post! Love him!)

Before we do that we are going to toast some pine nuts and get the sprouts started. I purchased about 1 lb of sprouts I believe but whatever looks good to you. We also always search for the littlest sprouts since they will be more tender and leave the others for people who believe bigger is better (seriously, does it always have to be about size with you?).

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium high heat and add 1 tbs of pine nuts (I added a little more since I like them). Cook about 2 minutes or until toasted then chop coarsely. I added a tiny bit of olive oil and NOW I realize why that didn't seem to work so wonderfully, though the nuts still came out fine, I just had to blot them off in the end. Melt some butter in a pan over medium-high and then add 1/4 cup chopped shallots. Let these saute for a minute, stirring frequently, and then toss in your sprouts (George always cuts a plus sign into the "stem" part so they cook faster), 2 tbs of dried currants, 1 tsp chopped fresh thyme (you chopped this in the prep part), 1/4 tsp of salt and 1/4 tsp of black pepper. Toss and add 1/2 cup of fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth. Cover, reduce heat and let cook for around 7 mins.

Meanwhile, drain your potatoes and return them to the same pan or pot you boiled them in (and remember, in Courtney's kitchen peeling your potatoes is always optional, though this time we did) on low heat. Add 1 tsp of salt and 2 tbs of butter. Mash those babies!! Then put in the goat cheese you let soften up and 1/4 tsp of black pepper. The heat should still be on low so it shouldn't take all that long to get melty. Stir in 1 cup of 2% milk and let cook 1 minute (this way is nice because then the milk won't make your hot potatoes turn room temperature!) Lastly, stir in the chives you chopped up earlier. Them taters are done!

Step Four: Finishing up

Your reduction should be ready to take your relationship to the next level. Strain the mixture through a sieve (or in my case a colander) and remove all the solids. WHAT? Remove all those tasty shallots!? I know. I thought that was whack too so I tossed my herbs, but put my shallots in a nice little bowl to throw on my steak later. Combine 1 1/2 tbs of all-purpose flour and 3 tbs of water in a separate little bowl. Return your port mixture to the pan and add the flour mixture to it while you whisk it in. Whisk it! Whisk it good. Bring it to a boil again until it gets nice and thick (I swear I looked away for a second and then it was perfect, so it happens pretty fast) then remove it from the heat and whisk in 1 tbs of butter and a dash of balsamic vinegar (about 1/2 a tsp). Holy eff you're reduction is done! Your steak probably is too, so I hope you took that out. Carve into it to make sure it's done the way you like. Doing it my way was perfect. It was nice and pink, but redder toward the center so there is something for everyone.

Also, just finish up your sprouts. Uncover them and cook about 4 mins or so until your broth evaporates. When I uncovered mine my broth was ALREADY evaporated, so I took this as a sign that god loves me and wants to continue to shower my life with beef tenderloin. When they look good and tender ( I love how green they get a minute after you first put them in) they are done! All that's left is to sprinkle on your chopped toasty pine nuts.

Now that may seem like a lot of steps, but it's a great alternative to cooking a turkey for four hours. With good planning this meal hardly takes more than a hour to make. Which leaves more time for the greens (come on guys, vegetables!) California is so known for. Plate everything, light your instant-romance candles and enjoy! The reduction sauce has a tendency to get a skin on the top of it as it's cooling. After you slice some beef portions and put it on the plates, just stir the sauce before you ladle it over the meat. I absolutely LOVED the sprouts too because the shallots, pine nuts and currants mixed together amazingly and taste like candy. And mashed potatoes with goat cheese have such an awesome tang. I was really happy (and thankful) everything came out to perfection, and the meal was so good that I didn't even feel the need to contemplate dessert. We just ate everything!

(All photos by George P. Macklin.)

Ali's Kitchen: Potato and Leek Gratin With Cumin

2008-11-19T18:19:00.018-05:00

It's cold. My head hurts. It's the perfect time for this dish. This recipe for potato and leek gratin with cumin comes directly from the "Recipes for Health" feature of the New York Times Health section, ironically not the Dining & Wine section. At first glance you (depending on your cultural baggage) might think, "Potatoes? Gratin? What is this doing in 'Recipes for Health?'" Well, here's why:

Cheese isn't bad for you! Neither are potatoes! Calcium and protein. Fiber and potassium. THE. END.

Well, not The End, obviously, but let's point something out: This recipe uses less than 1 cup of Gruyère, in a dish meant for 6-8 people. You can use even less cheese, if you like, and you'll still get the creamy effect. That's hardly a lot of dairy fat. And, since this is from the Health section, they've substituted the cream that's in many gratins for lowfat milk. Works just fine everytime, and your tummy (if it's sensitive) will thank you. Herewith, the text of their recipe, interspersed with pictures from Carlita Canon:

INGREDIENTS

1 garlic clove, cut in half
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 pound leeks, white and light green parts only, cut in half lengthwise, sliced and rinsed of sand
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds, lightly toasted and crushed in a mortar and pestle or a spice mill (I had cumin seeds as well as ground cumin, but not a mortar/pestle or spice mill. I just used the ground cumin.)
2 pounds russet potatoes or Yukon golds, peeled if using russets, scrubbed if using Yukon golds, and sliced 1/4 inch thick (I'm using red potatoes because for some bizarre reason, that's all the grocery store had. I think I also bought more than 2 lbs - our grocery doesn't have a scale, oddly enough - because this practically overflowed my 2.2 lb casserole.)
3 ounces Gruyère cheese, grated (3/4 cup, tightly packed)
2 1/3 cups low-fat milk

PREPARATION

1. Preheat the oven to 375ºF. Rub the inside of a 2-quart gratin or baking dish with the cut side of the garlic clove. Brush lightly with olive oil.
2. Heat the remaining olive oil in a wide, heavy nonstick skillet over medium heat and add the leeks. Cook, stirring often, until tender, for about 5 minutes. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt and freshly ground pepper to taste and stir in the crushed cumin seeds. Stir together for half a minute and remove from the heat.
3. Place the potatoes in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Add the leeks mixture and half the cheese, and toss together. Arrange in the baking dish in an even layer. Pour in the milk.

Place the baking dish on a baking sheet and place in the oven.

4. Bake the gratin for 45 minutes, checking after 30 minutes and pressing the potatoes down into the milk with the back of a spoon. At 45 minutes, remove the dish from the oven and again press the potatoes down into the liquid. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top and bake for another 30 to 45 minutes, or until nicely browned. Remove from the heat and allow to sit for 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

There you have it! In retrospect, I would add that:

- Putting a cookie sheet under the pan is helpful, in case the milk boils over in your small casserole;

- Possibly cover the top with aluminum foil for at least part of the early cooking so it doesn't get too brown. The color doesn't make a difference in the AWESOME taste, but if you need to serve this to someone other than your living partner, it might be a nice touch.

The article means this recipe for a vegetarian main dish , but we are having it with sautéed chicken breasts, whipped up while the gratin is cooling. Simply:

1. Rinse, pat dry, lightly salt and pepper the chicken, etc. and so forth with your basic prep.

2. Dredge the breasts through some milk, then through some flour mixed with coriander, paprika, and garlic powder, just to keep things interesting.

Coriander and paprika are fun with the cumin, but use your own favorite spice here.

3. Preheat some olive oil or butter or both in the UNWASHED pan you used for the leeks.

4. Sauté about 5-7 minutes per side (totally depends on the size of the breasts).

(If you use GARGANTUAN chicken breasts like some of us, then when both sides are brown and they STILL aren't done, take the gratin out to cool and put the chicken in the oven in its place, in either a 400-degree-safe pan, or in another casserole. If your chicken breasts are big enough that 8 minutes per side didn't do it in the pan [these are the Frankenstein breasts about whose growing process I'd like to keep in the dark], then at least 10 minutes still at that 375ºF should do it. If you're hopeless at cooking poultry, like I am, then a meat thermometer always helps.)

Boom. Dinner. Le yum yum.

Amsterdam Vacation Culinary Roundup

2008-11-16T16:15:00.016-05:00

Dag! Here in the Netherlands, specifically North Holland, the food is solid, warm and wholesome. Since Amsterdam has long been a crossroads for cultures, and the Netherlands long a colonizer to the world, this breeds an interesting combination of flavors and textures. Observe:

Zuurklooschotel met riesgling
("Sauerkraut with Riesling" - Salted pork, bacon, sausage, frankfuter and rozeval potato)

What K lovingly refers to as "half a pig"

Jet lagged on our first evening, we ordered room service in. And what pleasantly surprising room service it was. I think those oval-shaped things are the "bacon," since Europeans are weird like that. The sausage was absolutely succulent, and the "frankfurters" were a far cry from Nathan's Famous. This meal was so delectable that I was forced to admit my non-abhorence of sauerkraut. I can't even tell you about the mustard. OH MY GOD, THE MUSTARD. However, it was the SALT, not the mustard, that swelled my eyes up to veritable capsules the next morning. Worth it, but I really should have known better.

FYI, they sell beer here that's up to 9% alcohol.

It tastes super, duper fabulous

I don't know if it's the increased alcohol content or the supposedly-cleaned-daily pipes that lead to the superior taste and easier headache ratio (said the gal who gets a headache from one beer, normally).

Another thing they do differently here: Goat cheese.

Je suis le chevre

It looks creamy, and if one had never seen cheese outside of the 48 contiguous states, one might assume it was Brie. But it's not Brie. It's good.

Yet ANOTHER thing they do differenetly here. Fries. With MAYONNAISE:

All your cellulite are belong to us

That shite is disconcertingly tasty, but I suspect only when it's "real" mayonnaise. None of that bottled BS.

Here we have some cheese. Didn't get the name of the cheese - just "Dutch cheese," aged and young. With mustard. OH MY GOD, TEH MUSTARD.

Sinuses open farther than a yogi's hip joints

One night we had Indonesian for dinner. This is a prevelant cuisine in the Netherlands, due to the fact that the Dutch colonized Indonesia for some inhumane amount of time. I can never remember if it was four or six hundred years, and cannot be bothered at this moment to Google the fact.

This is a rijsttafel:

"rice table"

Ours consisted of - vaguely from back row to front row, left to right - beef satay, spiced chicken, spiced beef, spiced fish (with hidden chilis, OMG), vegetables in coconut milk, vegetables in coconut sauce, [second row] fried chicken (wrapped in some kind of dark pepper skin), cucumber salad, shrimp crackers, something I didn't catch, soy bean paste. (And steamed rice in the front there.)

All I have to say is that HOLY CRAP, INDONESIAN FOOD IS GOOD. And SPICY.

And now, for the Dutch master work: PANNENKOEKEN!

Banana pancake, front. Apple pancake, background

Bacon pancake

Those crazy Europeans and their "bacon." Which is really "pancetta." Pssh.

And you know what? Our last night we felt entitled to be a little lazy, so we camped out at the hotel's restaurant, which conveniently showcased another couple of Dutch strenghts: Seafood and game.

Oysters:

The Aftermath. They were Dutch.

Duck!

It was literally a choice between duck, quail, pigeon, venison, and a bunch of fish we'd never heard of. All hail the adventurous Dutch palate.

My favorite thing about Amsterdam, just discovered since I've never been before, is that you can walk anywhere and everywhere. So it makes a whole bunch of sense to me why their food is so rich and yummy, and why they're still so comparatively slim. The one Dutch treat I didn't get to try was a herring roll, with pickles and onions. Granted, working at a Swedish restaurant gave me more than enough exposure to herring (ugh) and I know that I actually don't care for it, but herring here would have been like, say, blood sausage in the U.K. Oh well. Next time!

Leftovers Followup: Poule Au Pot Ingredients

2008-10-28T18:51:00.008-04:00

Hello again! In the Poule Au Pot post, I mentioned that you may end up with leftover vegetables, since most of those ingredients (leeks, celery, carrots, parsnips, turnips) are sold in bunches providing more than enough of each veggie type for one night's cook-up of poule au pot. If you have leftover chicken because you bought a value pack, it's like a free fricking meal! Here's what we did with our extra ingredients tonight!

1. Prep the chicken as you wish (I'm stuffing with goat cheese, and sprinkling on thyme, salt and pepper).

2. Chop the vegetables (except for the leeks) into about 2-inch chunks. Plop in a casserole/roasting dish and pour in just enough chicken stock to cover the bottom of the casserole. Cover with aluminum foil (or a real casserole cover, if you're fancy like that).

3. Pop chickies and veggies on the top oven rack at 375, and check for doneness in about 25 minutes. That's a pretty good mass cooking in the oven at one time, so don't be surprised if things still need 10-20 minutes more, depending on: how large an amount of leftover veggies you had; how big and how many your chicken breasts are; and how heavy your casserole/roasting dishes are.

Intermission: Play with your new camera.

Spouse grudgingly agrees to take a photo of less-photographed better half.

Tiffany-style lamp in bedroom.

Fabulous apron of fabulousness

purrrrrr

Another intermission option is to accidentally burn your forearm on the 375 degree oven when lifting the veggies out to check for doneness. Ouch. I mean, really. Ouch.

4. When chicken and vegetables are done, chow down. If one is done way before the other for some reason, no sweat off your back. Take it out, keep it covered, and pop back in for a sec before you feast.

Le yum yum for le cheap cheap! Le win-win.

Ali's Kitchen: Poule Au Pot

2008-10-25T20:02:00.000-04:00

Bienvenue, mes choux! It's time for a foray into the French countryside with the classic poule au pot. Literally "chicken in a pot," this dish is parfait for Fall, and easy to make ahead for all-week eats. Allons-y! Here are the basics that will make at least 4-6 servings:

INGREDIENTS
4 pints of chicken stock (possibly more: enough to submerge the ingredients in a large, heavy pot)
2 leeks, just the whites and light-greens, halved crosswise and lengthwise (remember: leeks are dirtier than a teenage boy's imagination, so wash, wash, wash in all those little layers)
1 medium white onion, quartered
1 large turnip, peeled and quartered
2 parsnips, peeled and halved crosswise
2 carrots, peeled and halved crosswise
2 celery stalks, cut into 2-inch pieces
Salt & pepper to taste (start with no salt if you're using canned stock/broth)
Bouquet Garni: 3 parsley springs, 1 large bay leaf, 3 springs of thyme (1-2 tsp dried), 1 celery stalk cut in half. Tie all this together with kitchen twine (or the parsley, if it's a little old and not so crisp), or just throw it in there, and strain the broth when you're serving later, so you don't end up munching on the parsley or bay leaf.
Approx. 8 chicken pieces, or 3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut into 2-inch chunks

PREPARATION
1. In your large pot, bring the chicken stock to a boil. If using boneless, skinless chicken breasts, boil your vegetables and Bouquet Garni for about 20 minutes, or until just slightly tender.

2. Add the chicken breasts, bring back to a boil, then reduce to a SIMMER (not boil, or the chicken will get tough), partially covered until the chicken is cooked through, about 5-10 minutes (this is obviously contingent on whether your chicken has bones, and/or how small the breast chunks are which you've cut; check doneness often so as not to overcook).

Serve in a shallow bowl with your favorite moisture-absorbing carbohydrate (for instance, a parbaked ciabatta loaf that needs to get out of your freezer before it's completely useless). Make sure everyone gets a little of everything in his or her bowl.

Le yum yum!

THIS RECIPE'S VERSATILITY MAKES IT GREAT!
* If you can't find "stock," just use broth.
* You can use whichever chicken parts you prefer. If using thighs, or parts from a whole chicken, boil these for about 10-20 minutes first, depending on their size, before you start cooking the veggies.
* The beauty of these particulary root vegetables is that they don't turn mushy like potatoes if you need to cook the chicken a little longer than you thought.
* If you don't have one big pot, you can cook your veggies in one pot and chicken in another, with a Bouquet Garni for each.

Steal a little of the vegetables' cooking liquid to add to the chicken's broth, for the parsnip, turnip and carrot flavor.
* You can prep the veggies ahead of time and cover, immersed in water:

This is particularly helpful if, say, your husband and his Playstation buddy are monopolizing the living room all afternoon and you are bored. Any excess water the veggies soak up during this time won't matter so much, since they're going to cook in liquid anyway.

* All ingredients and amounts are totally subjective. Need protein? Use more chicken. Veggie freak? Go ~~hog~~ wild. Don't like some of the root veggies listed below? Substitute others (just make sure to add them earlier or later in the cooking process, so they're not under or overcooked).

* You can use 1/2 to 1 chicken breast, and one of each vegetable type, and make this an easy dish for one. If you have to buy some of the veggies, like the leeks, carrots and celery, in bunches, you can refrigerate them and roast later in the week with sausage and mashed potatoes! Unfortunately, since you'll probably get way too much parsley to use before it goes bad, well...

Gives a whole new meaning to "Bouquet," doesn't it?

Post script: It is with much thanks that we bid adieu to our beloved Sony point-and-click and welcome to blogland our brand new Canon, hereafter christened Carlita Canon.

Hola.

Welcome, Carlita, and thanks to Tarot for being such a willing test subject for figuring out what the hell "aperture value" is.

Le meow meow.

Ali's Kitchen: Classic, First-Anniversary-Friendly White Cake

2008-09-07T13:27:00.015-04:00

Beginner's Baking Tips

1. Have a kitchen that's bigger and has more counter space than this one:

2. It seems that you really do get what you pay for where baking supplies are concerned. For instance, a) definitely get a better mixer than this one:

Sigmund says I have Cuisinart envy.

Otherwise, your mixer's speeds will be: Manic Housecat, Autobahn, and Nascar. Not necessarily optimal. b) Have a spatula that is not a piece of cheap crap. Otherwise, it will snap in two - that's right, in two - during mixing. That was fun. c) On the plus side, you know what's magical? Williams-Sonoma Nonstick Goldtouch™ bakeware. It let even a baking novice/ignoramus like myself - whose cake ended up cooking a looong time - completely avoid cake sticking to the pan. Not only that, the cake separated from the pan like buttah. Since I used Pam for Baking instead of butter and flour, and since Pam for Baking is just awful, I have to credit the Williams-Sonoma pans with this success. The cooling rack from the same line is also great.

3. Have a full set of mixing bowls. Deep ones. I have one (1) deep mixing bowl. I have a bunch of big-to-medium, but shallow, bowls that, I thought, would double as "mixing" bowls. Here's the funny thing: Mixing in a shallow bowl will leave you with splatters at interesting spots on the wall, refrigerator, your hair, your cat, you get the picture. Hence, you will be forced to hand-mix. Hence, you will end up with some great upper body exercise:

Wow. What a bicep I've got there.../sarcasm

But a really long mixing process. Related problem: Having to reuse the same bowls (and wash, and dry them) will mess up your timing, which in baking is important.

4. For the love of all that is shiny and pretty, use real eggs to get your egg whites. Don't use egg white from a box. Otherwise? You will be left completely at a loss when trying to figure out the measurements for "whites of 8 large eggs."

That is an odious lie.

And then, sadly, you'll end up using too much egg, like I did, and thus end up with eggy cake. While not the worst thing in the world, it's... eggy. We were going for cake, not a French patisserie bread.

5. While cooling, don't touch. If need be, stand guard to ward off those in your house with a Y chromosome, or those who are under 15 years of age. Related: Don't frost until FULLY COOLED. Otherwise, slide, boom, splat, mayhem, woe.

6. Even if the cake is a little eggy, enjoy.

(Yum yum. And yay ^_^)

Here's the actual recipe:

White Cake, Joy of Cooking, page 937
Have all ingredients at room temperature, 68 to 70 degrees F. Preheat the oven to 375. Grease and flour three* 8x2-inch round pans or line the bottoms with wax or parchment paper. Sift together twice:

3 1/2 cups sifted cake flour**
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine:

1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon almond extract (optional)

In a large bowl, beat until creamy, about 30 seconds***:

1 2/3 cups sugar

Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the milk mixture in 2 parts, beating on low speed or stirring with a rubber spatula until smooth and scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary. In another large bowl, beat on medium speed until soft peaks form:

8 large egg whites
3/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Gradually add, beating on high speed:
1/3 cup sugar

Beat until the peaks are stiff but not dry****. Use a rubber spatula***** to fold****** one-quarter of the egg whites into the butter mixture, then fold in the remaining whites. Divide the batter among the pans and spread evenly. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Let cool in the pans on a rack for 10 minutes. Slide a thin knife around the cake to detach it from the pans. Invert the cake and peel off the paper liners, if using. Let cool right side up on the rack. Fill and frost as desired.

*Somehow I missed this key detail. Which would explain why they turned out... huge. And took so long. Am an idiot. Then again, let's be honest: How annoying would adjusting all the measurements be? I got an 800 in my verbal SAT portion, not the math, and that sort of multiplication is just BEYOND me this far out of high school.

**I used all-purose white flour, because I figure that's why it's called "all purpose."

***If you're using an electric mixer, you lucky jerk.

****Yeah, I'm lazy, and didn't actually do this. It doesn't appear to have mattered.

*****If you still have one.

******WTF is "folding?" I don't care. I stirred. It's fine.

Courtney has a lot of trying to do.

2008-09-03T10:56:00.002-04:00

TO DO, you BOLD all the items you've eaten. CROSS OUT anything you would stay the hell away from at all costs!!

Courtney's turn (with notes in parentheses, because i LOVE notes in parentheses!):
(from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk) The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (OMG am obsessed!)
4. Steak tartare (I totally want to try this and never have...I don't think!)
5. Crocodile (I don't think I've had but sounds bitchin')
6. ~~Black pudding~~ (It's made with congealed BLOOD and filler....that's so beyond disgusting!)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (nummy)
13. PB&J sandwich (OK, aside from people not from America, who HASN'T had this?)
14. Aloo gobi (I looove Indian spiced potatoes...I'm not sure if I've had this so I'll leave it, but sounds super yum!)
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (mmm love French cheese...must try)
17. Black truffle (I'm NOT SURE! OMG I think maybe but I don't want to cheat. Yum!)
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (I am bolding this simply for the fact that I've had mead several times. Which is made from honey and is kind of beerish/wineish...but shut up.)
19. Steamed pork buns (I have had steamed pork dumplings...but the buns are fatter. I've seen 'em....would totally try.)
20. Pistachio ice cream (Pistachio Stracciatella gelato too....oh yeah!)
21. Heirloom tomatoes (Super drool)
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras (I've had pate before but not sure if I had foie gras....)
24. Rice and beans (Again, um who hasn't had this staple?)
25. ~~Brawn, or head cheese~~ (I think Ma Ingles made this in Little House in the Big Woods by boiling the pig's head until all the meat fell off then I BELIEVE...correct me if I'm wrong...it's kind of put into a matrix of other food substance in a cold cut type fashion....either way it does sound nasty and I'm vetoing it for now unless some head cheese connoisseur insists it's delicious)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (yeah I've only had the ice cream)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (wow this does sound amazing)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (probably but can't remember an instance)
33. Salted lassi (this sounds cool...now if they had said salted Lassie....)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (OK...I have had cognac...and I have had fat cigars. Not at the same time persay, but I've had them, mmmkay?)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (also known as, um....THE JELLO SHOT?)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (hahahaha um no...but I'd try it of course)
46. Fugu (I would totally try this if i was in Japan at a really amazing and celebrated restaurant. Or best friends with a Japanese person I knew wasn't trying to kill me. But sure!)
47. Chicken tikka masala (WOW I actually had this for the first time a few weeks ago)
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (fuck yes)
50. Sea urchin (I heard it's nasty but I'd try it)
51. Prickly pear (well, I had prickly pear gelato last week....so sorta....and that gelato was AMAZING!)
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (This ALSO makes me think of Island of the Blue Dolphins!)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (loooove beer with high alcohol content yessss)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips (blech...carob)
61. S’mores
62. ~~Sweetbreads~~ (ew I'm crossing this off for the time being unless someone I can believe tells me I have to try this.)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (I always see these at the Asian grocery store...makes me think of In The Mood For Love)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. ~~Haggis~~ ("In fact I think most Scottish food is based on a dare.")
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (Jade Verte Suisse 65º I believe)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. ~~Roadkill~~ (I'm not saying I wouldn't eat the finest of hillbilly meats, but I think I'd rather it was killed by a gun instead of rotting in the road before harvesting.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. (uhh...I doubt it)
85. Kobe beef (OMG must try!)
86. Hare (I agree...I've had bunny)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (This scares me a little.)
90. Criollo chocolate (high quality chocolate...put it in my face!)
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (want to try!!)'

WOW! I have a lot to try. I really enjoyed this since now I have some really amazing things to get into my mouth! I'm disappointed hakarl isn't on here haha.

Labor Day Munchies Memoir

2008-08-31T18:48:00.008-04:00

Not a recipe for a change! Cate has this nifty have-you-ever list up... but instead of unholy activities, it concerns ingredients and foods you would not consider using, or have eaten. TO DO, you BOLD all the items you've eaten. ~~CROSS OUT~~ anything you would stay the hell away from at all costs. Squee :)

Ali's List (with notes in italics):

(from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk)
The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (I have never had these - can you believe it?)
4. Steak tartare (In Florence - maybe the only way to eat it.)
5. Crocodile (no, but I have had alligator, which I say is close enough) (Bizarrely enough, Cate wrote that, and I can say the exact same.)
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (When in NYC: Artisanal. There is no other.)
~~8. Carp~~ (I don't like fish. Generally.)
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (please see: "Artisanal" above)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (apricot)
19. Steamed pork buns (I have been to Chinatown, so, duh.)
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (huckleberries at camp in Alabama)
23. Foie gras (But I felt really, really guilty if it makes this any better.)
24. Rice and beans
~~25. Brawn, or head cheese~~ (I don't know what this is, but it sounds disgusting.)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (Only the ice cream)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (OMG this sounds so good)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (Please. My mom is 1/2 German.)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (Oddly enough, I can bold this one)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat (First vacation with then-boyfriend now-husband was in the Bahamas, so, YES.)
42. Whole insects (I wouldn't rule this out. Everyone always says they're "nutty," and I *heart* nuts, so...)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
~~45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more~~ (Yuck)
~~46. Fugu~~ (I'd rather labor under the illusion that my food won't necessarily kill me.)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin (Surprisingly, I didn't like this at all. Too gummy.)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (This always makes me think of Island of the Blue Dolphins. Aren't these endangered?)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (Haven't had this, and I keep bugging K to go with me to the German restaurant across the street so I can try it.)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (If you've been within 500 miles of Belgium, then yes, you've probably had this.)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Isn't this just like asking if I've eaten Tums?)
64. Currywurst
~~65. Durian~~ (Isn't this that really nasty fruit from Indonesia?)
66. Frogs’ legs (Yum!)
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
~~68. Haggis~~
69. Fried plantain
~~70. Chitterlings, or andouillette~~
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
~~73. Louche absinthe~~ (Smelled absinthe once and that was enough for me.)
74. Gjetost, or brunost (I've had the Milko brand, courtesy of working in a Swedish restaurant.)
~~75. Roadkill~~ (Rat meat is apparently very popular in Cambodia at the moment, as food prices soar and other meats become unattainable to the world's poor.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum (I mean, I've had this in Thai restaurants in America, though like the Indian selections on here, I'm not sure if I should *really* be able to bold it.)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef (OMG. There is no other kind.)
86. Hare (I've had rabbit, so I'm bolding this, even though I'm sure there's some kind of distinction.)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
~~89. Horse~~
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (Two Mules for Sister Sara. Not crossing this out because that says it all to me.)

64 out of 100, with 10 crossed out. How 'bout you??

Ali's Kitchen: Herbed Chicken Cutlets with SURPRISE! Sides

2008-08-25T18:37:00.022-04:00

I am fulfilling my promise of cooking something from a hallowed or otherwise off-line cookbook. Sort of. I took a basic from Joy of Cooking and modified it, mostly using the recipe for timing and measurements.

We started off with your basic "Sautéed Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts" (page 587 in the 1997 version). This suggests (with my notes as parentheticals) that you:

"Rinse and pat dry 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (we're using 3, just over 1 lb.)... If you wish (I did), remove the tenderloins. Sprinkle both sides with salt and ground black pepper to taste (we have a rainbow pepper grinder instead; you can also mix this into the flour mixture below instead of adding to chicken first). Spread on a plate 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Now, here is the big deviation. We're ALSO adding about 1/3 cup Manchego cheese...

(Grated like zees, on zee small side, not zee zesting side.) (That is, if you're using 3-month Manchego, or other only semi-hard cheese. If the cheese is harder, like Parmesan, it won't gum up in the zesting grates as much.)

... And some (1/4 c. total?) fresh chopped thyme and sage. Mmmmm.

The Joy of Cooking version continues:

"Coat the chicken on both sides with the flour (mixture) (dredge in egg or milk first)... Gently shake off the excess...

Small kitchens: The bane of every multi-process recipe.

"Heat in a heavy 10- to 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until fragrant and nut-brown 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil. (I halved this, so as to add oil on an as-needed basis. Ended up using about this amount of oil/butter.) Swirl the butter and oil together... Sauté for exactly 4 minutes, keeping the fat as hot as possible without letting it burn..."

(yeah, I suck at that)

" Using tongs, turn the chicken and cook until the flesh feels firm to the touch and milky juices appear around the tenderloins, 3 to 5 minutes more."

However, at 4x4, our chicken still is not done. Nor at 5x5 (minutes, that is). While we wait for it to stop bleeding, let us ponder a great question. Cat bums: They are cute, yet they do gross things. In other words, it's the ultimate Essentialist vs. Existentialist quandary ("to be or to do," which one defines us?). Which side wins out?

In sum, the Plato vs. Sartre cage match still isn't over.

Now we come to the SURPRISE! sides. They're called that for 2 reasons.

1: We (being the feline sous chef and myself) were planning to cook pasta, until, SURPRISE! We saw that the potatoes? The ones we cooked last week? For "Thanksgiving?" Weren't oddly-colored and, in fact, still smelled quite good. Reduction of labor by reheating leftovers = über win. If I end up in hospital from a fungal stomach infection, you'll know why. Hey, anything in the name of Cheap.

2: So, when you get greens such as arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna, you generally expect them to be crisp and fresh, yes? And to smell like arugula, spinach, or in this case, mizuna (oh my GOD, I'm going to miss NYC grocery stores when we move)? Yeah, well, sometimes this happens:

SURPRISE!

In this case, you either run to the grocery store or stick your head in the ~~oven~~* freezer. And, in OUR case, you find:

I would like to go to Bruges, if not so much Brussels.
You know what I'm gonna do, boy howdy? I'm gonna a) defrost them, at about 2 minutes less than the package directions, and b) sauté 'em as though they were pasta: With some butter and sage, because I've never had them (to my recollection; don't ask why I got them), and all I've heard is how bad they smell while cooking.

Sage like zees. Le chop chop.
Butter and sage should mitigate that a little, yes? Here's hoping.

Aaaand, here's the finished product:

Le yum yum.

You may notice that the chicken breast is actually halved. Well, that's because THEY WOULDN'T COOK. I was a good little chef: I waited 5 minutes or so before even checking inside... and they were STILL PINK. The timing was a lie, a LIE!

RECIPE ROUNDUP
Favorite thing about this dish: What is the deal with vilifying Brussels sprouts? I found mine positively enjoyable, and they certainly didn't stink up the place while cooking. Perhaps it was all the sage and butter?

Least favorite thing about this dish: Are they kidding me with the timing? If it's really 4 minutes per side - for modern-sized chicken breasts (i.e., Frankenstein) - then I will eat my hat. I'll eat my hypothetical hat, that is, before I will eat that pink chicken. The chicken took fully 10+ minutes total, and was not overcooked. That's at LEAST an extra minute per side. Oh, and then? I stuck the piece I was actually eating in the MICROWAVE for 45 seconds, and it's STILL tender as I type all this out, about an hour later. Joy of Cooking can kiss my rump. Or perhaps I am just really, really bad at cooking poultry. (A distinct possibility, and a good explanation for why I gravitate toward red meat.)

Surprising thing about this dish: Manchego cheese: Not just for pairing with Goya guava paste anymore. I used Manchego on a whim (ON SALE), but was nervous about the texture, and the combination of thyme and sage with it - instead of olives, which seem to be the only non-fruit-related "seasoning" people pair with Manchego outside of the Iberian peninsula. Everything worked beautifully.

New skill learned: Not necessarily listening to recipes re: timing. I used to think I would overcook by default if I went above the recommended time. Not so, grasshopper, not so.

* Kidding. Plus, I don't think you can even really do that with today's ovens.

Ali's Kitchen: Anytime Thanksgiving

2008-08-18T18:57:00.010-04:00

"Thanksgiving" dinner can actually be had whenever. Our household is firmly convinced of this, and that's why we cook "Thanksgiving" in Summer, Spring or Winter, too. Here's how to cook OUR brand of Thanksgiving (for 2-3 people), in case you're interested.

Roast Turkey

And people thought Clinton was pervy?
1 3 lb. turkey breast (you can halve this, freeze the other half, and cut cooking time in half if you wish, or you can have leftovers!)
2 Tb butter or butter substitute, divided;
Salt & pepper to taste;
Mixture of your favorite herbs, such as thyme, rosemary, sage, etc. Use slightly more herbs than usual if you wish to cut down the amount of salt you use.

Preheat the oven to 425°. Make sure your turkey is around room temp. Rub the butter, salt & pepper, and herbal mixture all over turkey breast. Place in small roaster, and (if you have one) insert an oven-safe meat thermometer into the thick end of the meat.

Place the turkey in the oven and reduce the temp to 400°. After about 20 minutes, baste turkey with the second Tb of butter. Roast (and continue to occasionally baste) for at least another 20 minutes, depending on the size of the turkey breast. The turkey will reach 170° when it is done. Given the different sizes of turkey breasts, this is why meat thermometers are particularly helpful, even if it's the kind you can't keep in there the entire cooking time.

Remove to a platter, cover with aluminum foil, and set aside for 10 minutes.

Turkey Gravy

Put the roasting pan (sans rack, obviously) on a lit burner. Sprinkle just a little flour (2 Tb approx.) into the pan juices, and cook while stirring for a few minutes, scraping up any brown bits. If you like to add wine, etc. to your gravy, do so now and cook the liquid down until it's more... um... gravy-like. Or don't add the flour, and just serve the turkey "a jus."

Chive Mashed Potatoes

Darth Tater will bring you over to the dark side of extra-buttery potatoes.
I think we've been over this. Potatoes. Chives. Butter. Milk. The. End. Fun add-ins are also cream cheese instead of milk, and garlic. Salt & pepper if you wish, but remember to just say "no" if you're using salted butter, or butter substitute.

Green Bean Casserole

le classique
No one rocks this one like my mom, but dammit, I try. It's basically ripped off from the French's recipe, with a few important differences. Theirs says:

Ingredients:
1 (10 3/4 oz.) can CAMPBELL'S® Cream of Mushroom Soup
3/4 cup milk;
1/8 tsp. black pepper
2 (9 oz. each) pkgs. frozen cut green beans, thawed*
1 1/3 cups FRENCH'S® Original or Cheddar French Fried Onions;
Directions:
1. MIX soup, milk and pepper in a 1 1/2 -qt. baking dish. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup French Fried Onions.
2. BAKE at 350°F for 30 min. or until hot.3. STIR. Top with remaining 2/3 cup onions. Bake 5 min. until onions are golden.
*Tip: You may substitute 2 cans (14 1/2 oz. each) cut green beans, drained or 4 cups fresh, cooked cut green beans.

Here's the deal: You can add MORE green beans for what I find to be a more enjoyable bean-to-other-stuff ratio, AND you don't have to pre-cook the beans. You may find that extra crunch (they still cook just fine) to be quite pleasant!

Finally...

Don't forget some canned cranberry sauce (I hate to break it to you fresh cranberry sauce people, but it's just. not. as good. if it's not infused with ten different preservatives) and a dessert (optional) you bought somewhere else, because, come on, your kitchen is tiny and you don't have room to store baking goods that you'll only use twice a year. Extra points if you serve on your "nice" dishes with real serving utensils, and use as an excuse to force your husband to eat dinner at the dinner table.

There you have it: Thanksgiving in August! Full of win, and of course, yum yum.

Ali's Kitchen: "Local" Steak Dinner

2008-08-13T20:33:00.000-04:00

or, "Buy Local-Grown."

Tonight's recipe comes about for two reasons. Ça:

Farmer's market tomato all the way from Georgia.

Not "local," per se, but it was certainly local when my parents picked it up south of Atlanta and shipped it (with two of its compatriots who, sadly, gave their lives so that this tomato might make it). The motivation behind this request wasn't ecological or environmental: It was that NORTHERN TOMATOES SUCK, as I have mentioned previously. People here will try to make you think that our neighbor across the river, New Jersey, has the "best" tomatoes, but as far as I can tell, they're either senile or lying. If it's not an heirloom tomato, it had better come from Georgia, IMO.

Et ça:

My grocery store has FINALLY started carrying local-grown food (which in Manhattan means New Jersey, Long Island, the Hudson Valley or the Fingerlakes Region). I don't know which farm this came from. Until I sliced into it, I didn't even know what IT was. When the cashier looked at it, she was at a complete loss. I guessed romaine? Red leaf lettuce? All I knew was, ZOMG, local-grown fad! As it turned out? It's some kind of endive, which is terribly exciting, since we have some feta which will blend nicely with all this fabulous produce. Toss that all together and throw in some pine nuts or something if you've got 'em. Salad: Done.

The last... um... "local" compontent of tonight's meal is our starch: chive mashed potatoes, which I made last week (they're not gross yet - I swear).

They're from my fridge, hence, local.
(Am so funny. Can hardly stand it.) They involved exactly what it sounds like. Potatoes. And chives. And some butter and milk, all eyeballed to get the right proportions. The end. Steam potatoes (keep skin on for mucho vitamins/nutrients). Mash or whip. Melt in butter, and stir in milk and chives. Reheating will probably necessitate some extra butter so they're not too dry. Damn. Reheat in the microwave, stirring in extra butter as you go. Potatoes: Done.

I have no idea where little steaks are from, but it's not local, because... way too inexpensive. I don't really know what cut they are (some kind of sirloin "tenderloin"), but they look kind of like filet mignon, and they were On Sale, which is The Most Important Part.

I had already salted (to taste), peppered (to taste, i.e., a lot) and garlic-powdered the steaks, when THIS happened:

Garlic powder: Empty. Ali: Flipping out.
So it called for some more flavor. Or it could have just called for "real" garlic, but no way. I'm being lazy tonight, so let's stick with that M.O. After I had added MORE pepper (yikes), K came up with the brilliant idea to order some cabernet. DING! IDEA LIGHT. Marinade! We're using this one, but I'm sure any semi-heavy red would do:

Not local. From California. Where Courtney is moving. From whence Courtney had better send wine.

Now, I didn't bother to look up a "real" marinade. Just like I don't bother using "real" garlic unless I can't help it. I just sloshed some wine on the steaks (looked like about 1/2 c. for a little over 1 lb. steak) (we're big meat-eaters here) and threw some rosemary in. Then pop 'em in a big Ziploc for easy turning and cleanup and put them in the fridge for a couple of hours.

The "rules" I've read about marinade usually reference very specific timing for different meats and , often 4. We're looking at about 2-3 hours here, but... I mean, I kind of feel like I used too much wine anyway, so we'll see... How can wine + steak + (salt + rosemary + garlic powder + [pepper x 2]) = bad? Are the brackets and parentheses supposed to be reversed there? Which kind of math is that anyway? What's the meaning of life? Who knew vinegar was such a great cleaning agent? Could gerbera daisies possibly look friendlier? These are the important questions.

No, we could not.

As always, remember to pre-heat your broiler for 20 minutes or so. I am jealous of anyone whose oven has an automatic thermometer, by the way. And, as always, remember to let your meat get to room temperature. Then, just flip, flop, pop it in your broiler and cook on each side. Depending on the thickness of the steak, this can range from 2 (very thin) to 5 (thicker and bigger steaks) minutes for a first try at rare-to-medium-rare. We new and less-confident cooks feel the need to double check everything for over- or under-cooking.

I ended up... um... not really timing this. I also completely forgot to take a picture of the finished product. Needless to say, it took a little longer than I thought it might to cook the steak BUT ONLY because I have always overshot the cooking times of steak until recently, so now I UNDERshoot. Which is better, I think. ALSO needless to say, it was good. Verrrry good. I think improvising a red wine marinade may just be the best way to do it.

Yum yum.

*Because "Local-Grown" is to Now what "Organic" is to Two Years Ago. I'm as excited about jumping on a new bandwagon as the next person...

Someone's NOT in the kitchen with Ali (pssst, and it's Courtney): Eggplant Lasagna

2008-08-01T10:28:00.009-04:00

Tonight we need something with substance. Something that, if you eat enough, you might have to unbutton your pants, put your feet up, and watch some of that cable tv that you're stealing. No, it's not Thanksgiving dinner, but it is full of starchiness. And golden fried discs of eggplant.

I know! You can't contain your glee. Lasagna is so good. Once, I was unable to eat lasagna. It all happened when Ali and I went to Paris. Our flight over was served by Delta (the way back was Air France, a VAST improvement), on which the in-flight meal was lasagna. It tasted like ENGINE FUEL. So, for about a year....no lasagna without the delightful undertones (though imagined) of gasoline tantalizing my tastebuds. Anyway here's our recipe we'll be working from, with of course some customized additions:

1 med. eggplant cut into very thin slices

1 tbsp. veg. oil

1/2 cup chopped onion

1 lb. mushrooms sliced (I think we had about 6-8 shroomers)

9 lasagna noodles

1 (15 1/2 oz.) jar spaghetti sauce

8 oz. part skim ricotta cheese

4 oz. shredded part skim Mozzarella cheese

3 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese, or any blend like Parmesan/Reggiano/Asiago if you're feeling funky.

1-2 eggs

Italian breadcrumbs

So, ok. The above we'll call my rule of thumb. Melissa and I were cooking up this wonder, and we like fresh Mozzarella balls, which don't particularly shred with a shredder nicely. Use a knife to chop it into small pieces. Also add (for fun):

A container of marscapone (you can decide how much to use...we pretty much used it all.)

Fresh basil leaves, pull off stems and tear really big leaves into halves

A container of Grape tomatoes, chopped in halves

After chopping all your produce, throw on a large pot of water to boil for your pasta noodles. Then start on the eggplant. Make sure you get your pan hot to brown the eggplant and throw some oil on there. I used spray canola oil but added a little olive oil during the cooking process since they started to look a little dry. This worked nicely. Crack an egg into one dish and pour some bread crumbs in another. Then go to town with your little assembly line. Dip a slice of eggplant in the egg, then in the crumbs (press a little and get them on there...using a fork keeps your hands pretty clean), then into the fryer they go! It should be at about medium heat, as you don't want to wait around all night for them to cook, but you certainly don't want them to burn. A good idea is to use more than one pan to speed up the process since sliced eggplant takes up quite a bit of room. I like to sprinkle sea salt, black pepper and garlic powder over my slices. While you're browning these beauties, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. If you're lucky you can do all this while a friend chops the veggies, but if you're going it alone I would chop everything first.

Now you have sliced onions and mushies to cook. Make sure you have like 8,000 burners on your oven and about 12 frying pans to cook all this. No really. You may need to cook one batch of eggplant first and then switch to just using one pan for them, one for your onions, and one to keep that water boiling. Saute up the onions for a bit with some olive oil, then add the mushrooms. Mushrooms don't need to go on too long...they should get a little brown and moist looking, and the onions should look translucent. Also add some salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

During all of this your water has most definitely come to a boil. Place in your lasagna noodles. They may stick out a little but that's okay. Once they start to soften up you'll be able to push them all the way into the water. Follow the instructions on the box, but they should need around ten minutes or so. As your eggplant is finishing up, take out the slices and lay them on a plate with a paper towel to soak up some of the oil from cooking them. When your pasta is done cooking you'll now be ready to assemble your lasagna apparatus.

Arrange your layers in a 11 x 7 baking dish in this order: noodles, ricotta and marscapone dollops (then smoosh around a little), mushroom mixture, Mozzarella cheese, eggplant slices, basil, sauce, tomatoes and Parmesan cheese. When you get to the second round of noodles make sure to alternate the placement. You'll have to trim them so they fit in your dish. When you get it all in sprinkle some extra Parm on top..feel free to sprinkle a little dried oregano. Then toss this baby in the oven for around 30-40 minutes.

30-40 minutes!? Now what? Your male sous chef, George, is in San Francisco, and something tells you Melissa would not be really into your striptease efforts. So press play on the movie you intend to watch during dinner (in our case, City of God, which though violent is a FANTASTIC movie).

Around 35 minutes for us we took out the lasagna. It should look a little browned on top- I'm not so sure ours did but we were really hungry. And it looked amazing! Make sure you let it sit around 10 mins to cool off a little and solidify, though if your hungry little fingers can't help but ravish this culinary beauty with a knife....that's okay. We understand these things here. Dig in!

PS. Sorry my pics are always a bit dark. The lighting in my apt. during the evening kinda sucks. It's an old building and I'm evidently still trying to get George's flash to work in collaboration with me.

Ali's Kitchen: Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Fresh Figs and Goat Cheese

2008-07-27T17:42:00.017-04:00

Today is an exciting day because I am making one of my FAVORITE recipes ever. I'm not, as I had promised a few posts ago, doing something from a cookbook, but I figure that's okay, because I'm also still the only one posting, and I was promised I wouldn't be a few posts ago, TOO. So. GUILT TRIP!* Ahem hem. Anywho.

This is today's recipe:

Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Fresh Figs and Goat Cheese
by Marie Simmons, from Fig Heaven

As you can see over at Leite's Culinaria, the recipe calls for: Chicken breasts, fresh thyme leaves, Kosher salt and pepper, fresh green or black figs, goat cheese, olive oil, pancetta or bacon, and dry white wine.

Some alterations we are making:

- First of all, the chicken breasts I bought in the "Value Pac!" were huuuge. I don't even want to know what they fed this chicken. Probably something radioactive. I may have superpowers by tomorrow, or possibly an extra toe. So we're throwing out any timing instructions, and just using a sturdy meat thermometer to time things.

- We're not using Kosher salt. We're not even using REAL salt. We're using "Nu-Salt," which is basically potassium in a form that looks like, and is intended for those of us who puff up from water retention just by LOOKING at salt. (No, actually, it's intended for those with high blood pressure.)

- We're using dried thyme because we already had some, and I didn't feel like yanking a bunch of tiny thyme leaves off a brittle little branch today. Lazy Sunday.

- We're not using pancetta or bacon, not for any nutritional reason - just because I forgot to buy it. Also? Pancetta is expensive, and bacon is NOT classy enough for the regal fig.

Ah, the fig. Behold its wonder:

I make this recipe EVERY time they're selling figs in the grocery store. EVERY time. I kid you not. Figs are the Queen of Fruit (and pomegranate the King).

So get your figgies and your garlic all nice and chopped/diced, respectively. Dump 'em in a little bowl with the "salt," pepper, a little bit of olive oil and thyme. I didn't measure a thing, because this recipe will work out fine no matter the proportions. These ingredients are such a yummy match that it doesn't matter too much which one comes out on top.

Now you get your little (ha.) chicken breasts and butterfly them. The recipe says to remove the fillets and save for a stir-fry. I'm not that motivated today, so we're leaving them on. I think I have all the other times as well, and it worked out juuuust fiiiiine.

Sprinkle the chicken breasts inside and out with "salt," pepper and thyme (I forgot to do this and just did the outside). Stuff the, erm, stuffing into the breasts, and close.

Put in a Pammed pan (ha), and bingo bango, pop 'em in the oven at 400 degrees.

The recipe says 10 minutes per side (also, we don't need to flip them, necessarily, since there's no pancetta to crisp, but I suppose you can if you like). Let's start with 25 minutes for these Frankenstein chicken boobs. Let's hope we don't overcook them. Everyone here is very tense:

During today's intermission, I'd like to take a moment to extol the virtues of distilled white vinegar. Did you know you can put a small dish out, like zees?

and it will keep fruit flies away from your kitchen? This way you will be able to keep out, say, cut tomatoes instead of having to commit the unholy transgression of refrigerating tomatoes. Also with vinegar? You can clean the milky deposits off your crystal and glassware. You can also clean your countertops without using dangerous bleach or chemical-based cleaning supplies or overpriced "granola" cleaning supplies. You can throw it in at the rinse cycle as a scent-free fabric softener. You can clean your floors with it, people. And don't even get me started on the wonders of baking soda. Those two are like Brahman and Vishnu of green AND cheap household cleaning. *End Intermission*

When your chicken is done (it took Frankenstein chicken about 35 minutes! And it wasn't overcooked!), set aside and cover. Bring your roasting or baking dish (whichever you've used - if you're like me you don't have a small roaster and regular old Pyrex has to do, even if the bottom side of whatever meat you're cooking does get a little soggy from its juices) and pop it onto the stovetop. Add in the white wine and boil the liquid down for about 2-5 minutes, depending on how much liquid you're working with.

Now drizzle over your chickies and nom nom nom!

Tarot and I put this one together with some orzo tossed in the extra goat cheese, and a simple side salad. The salad had the fun jazzing-up of persimmon tomatoes, an orange heirloom variety, which you already know if you got your Cooking Light this month like a good little cook.

* I kid, I kid. I know my schedule is particularly conducive to this stuff.

Whoops. I keep forgetting to add my "roundup."

Favorite things about this dish: FIGS. I LOVE FIGS. And I'm not complaining about the goat cheese, either. And thyme may or may not be my favorite herb. You can see why I cook this recipe all the damn time.

Least favorite things about this dish: Leaving out the pancetta really isn't as good. You need the salty piggy to balance out the sweet figs and tart goat cheese. I hoped it wouldn't make a difference, but it did. Definitely better with the crispy pig on top of the Frankenstein chicken.

Surprising thing about this dish: This is a rare instance in which adding wine to a broth does not, for my tastes, help. I would have left out the wine this time. Maybe it was the Sancerre I used - very tart.

New skill learned: Putting Pyrex on top of a stove! I've never done that before! I'm always afraid the glass will shatter or something, though when I think about it, the temp in the oven is probably much hotter and more stressful to the glass. Or maybe not. I don't "do" physics.

Ali's Kitchen: Shellfish with Chipotle and Tequila

2008-07-13T18:58:00.004-04:00

I'm REALLY excited about this one because the picture is REALLY PRETTY, and as we all know, presentation is half the battle. See?

I didn't take this picture. Whoever did, please don't sue me. I love you; you're an awesome food photographer.

Here's the gist from Cooking Light:Ingredients1 teaspoon olive oil Cooking spray 1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion (about 1 large) 1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 3/4 cups water 1/4 cup tequila 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 lime) 1 teaspoon ground cumin 2 teaspoons tomato paste 1 1/2 teaspoons chopped seeded chipotle chile, canned in adobo sauce 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 (14.5-ounce) can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained 1 (14-ounce) can fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 24 littleneck clams 1/2 pound sea scallops 1/2 pound peeled and deveined medium shrimp 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 1/4 cup chopped green onions Preparation1. Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add yellow onion, bell pepper, black pepper, and salt to pan; sauté 5 minutes or until tender. Add garlic; sauté 2 minutes. Add 1 3/4 cups water and next 10 ingredients (through chicken broth) to pan. Reduce heat to low, and simmer 12 minutes, stirring occasionally. 2. Arrange clams in a steamer. Cover and steam over boiling water 8 minutes or until shells open. Discard any unopened shells; set aside. 3. Add scallops and shrimp to tomato mixture; cook 7 minutes or just until done. Ladle 2 cups soup into each of 4 large shallow bowls; top each serving with 6 clams, 1 tablespoon cilantro, and 1 tablespoon green onions.

Accompanying this main dish will be some more couscous, and a simple green salad (tatsoi) with the excess green onions.

So, that's what we're aiming for. Ambitions are high. Hopes are... a little tepid, since I don't actually have the "chipotle peppers in adobo" which this recipe calls for. I have ground chipotle powder. At my dad's suggestion (he is a masterful cook), I'm halving the measurement of "chipotle" whatever, which makes this about 1/2 tsp. chipotle pepper I'm using. Other alterations include SHALLOTS instead of yellow onions (why buy more when you already have something vaguely similar in this crappy, crappy economy?); bottled lime juice instead of fresh limes (ditto); chicken broth that I need to get rid of; not having a steamer for the clams; and some shrimp that really, REALLY needs to come out of the freezer, which was the main reason for cooking this recipe, rather than the other pretty ones in the newest issue of Cooking Light. I would also like to take this moment to advocate buying local food and produce. The other main reason I went with this recipe was that our "local dayboat" littleneck clams were on sale. They look AWESOME. At this point of typing I obviously haven't eaten any, but they LOOK great. And they're SO much easier to clean than mussels. I had to debeard ONE clam, as opposed to every mussel I've ever cleaned. I'm also going with our "local dayboat" (which here means Long Island, probably) scallops, which were similarly reduced by the wonder that is Fresh Direct. Cry for not having it. CRY, I TELL YOU, FOR IT IS AWESOME. Except that it doesn't seem to have chipotle peppers canned in adobo sauce at the moment. Oh well. Here we go!

This is one of those recipes that takes A. Lot. Of. Prep. If you are not, for instance, Courtney and never learned how to chop produce professionally, this may take you a long time with all the chopping of the peppers and the onions and the garlic and cilantro and the other onions. And also the measuring of the spices and the tomato paste, etc. Then there's the cleaning the clams (again, not as long as mussels) and the peeling and deveining/cleaning the shrimp.

Shrimp Tip: If you suck at cleaning shrimp, or just don't have a little shrimp de-veiner thingy, just butterfly it (slice it down the back, that is), and, again, if you're like me and can't ever managed to get the poop-or-intestine-or-whatever-that-dark-stuff-is out of the shrimp with the knife itself, a BAMBOO GRILLING SKEWER is great.

Interesting Shrimp Fact: The shrimp I'm using have their poop-or-intestine-or-whatever-that-dark-stuff-is on the BOTTOM. ... WHAT? Who ever heard of that? Also, they're a little freezer burned, but that's not exactly their fault, is it?

So, here are all your ingredients, nice and chopped and prepped, and hopefully you haven't sliced off any of your fingers with your sharp J.A. Henckels knives, which rock hardcore:

Bonus points for me smelling out which square of Saran wrap matched up with which prepared ingredient after this photoshoot

For the clams, since I don't have a steamer, I'm using some of the excess chicken broth mixed with water to steam. Why not, right? This could all go horribly, horribly wrong.

HERE WE GO:

We've already encountered our first unintended alteration: In my frenzy of preparation, I accidentally mixed the salt and pepper in with the other spices, while the recipe calls for them to go in with the olive oil FIRST. No idea how this will affect the food from a chemical/flavor standpoint. Maybe not at all, maybe we'll end up order pizza. [Discovery Channel narrator's voice]

Second problem: WHY DID I PRINT OUT THE RECIPE THIS SMALL?!

Um... wut?

Let's see what's ahead.

So, if you're like me, your stove has a terrible inequity (I almost wrote "iniquity") of heat distribution. This makes it tough to simmer, fry or sautee. But I'm doing my best to simmer the veggie broth for about 12 minutes, over low heat, stirring occasionally.

Since I don't want to overcook the clams, I'm not steaming them yet, but I am pre-heating the steaming liquid so I can cook the clams at basically the same time as the shrimp and scallops. Also, my couscous has already been cooked in the microwave.

While the clam and scallop-shrimp liquids are heating, you can pass your time watching Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

Always diverting

Okay, now we're putting on the shrimp and scallops... and the the clams...

Smells... SPICY. I hope my dad's estimate of the canned-chipotle-to-powdered-chipotle was accurate, otherwise K will be very happy and I will be drinking even more wine. (... It was a stressful day, for the LAST time.)

Okay, TASTES spicy too. Wow. Heat. Yikes. I guess I have no reference for using the chopped canned chipotles peppers vs. chipotle powder, but JEEZ. SPICY.

Anywho, this is what mine turned out looking like:

Looks redder than the recipe photographed for the magazine. On the plus side, look how FAT and JUICY this "local dayboat" clam is:

I'll be making this again, but probably with less freezerburned shrimp and LESS COOKING TIME OVERALL, because this dude lied, and all the seafood should have withstood much less heat. Although the fat clams emerged unscathed. See?

I'm sorry. That's not a clam; it's a feline sous chef sitting in the recycling pile. How terribly misleading of me.

Ali's Kitchen: Salmon Fillet en Papillote with Julienne Vegetables

2008-07-09T18:07:00.019-04:00

Sorry to post twice in one week (annoying), but I'm excited about this one...

I was watching Food Network, which I am not wont to do. I was waiting for Throwdown with Bobby Flay to come on to see Amalah make her Basic Cable debut. I tuned in about half an hour early because TV has superseded most other habits in our house, and there was Alton Brown on Good Eats, which has disturbingly behind-the-times graphics, and I wish someone would tell their producers.

The episode was all about pouch cooking, which sent me into the euphoria of memory that is Reminiscing About Sleepaway Camp. What a great freaking place. GOD I LOVED IT. I was terrible at Arts & Crafts and never took it, but I was GREAT at "Outdoor Survival," which, when the Born Agains took over from the lesbians my last year there, became "Outdoor Living," which is just NOT as appealing for those of us who are obsessed with The Road and its ilk, but I took it anyway, even though we just ended up making herbal masks and learning that when you put cream or foundation on you're supposed to apply UP, against gravity, so you don't become a wrinkly, saggy wife for your dashing husband because he is the Priesthead in your Born Again family. Or something. ANYWHO. Every year in Outdoor Survival we had an actual camp-out night where we would do such rugged things as take a big white van to a field about 15 minutes away, set up easy-to-set-up tents and CAMP. At CAMP. GO FIGURE. This camping night always, ALWAYS involved (before the S'mores) Hobo Dinners, which basically consist of a choice of: pre-cooked ground beef or tofu, diced potatoes, onions, peppers, Worcestershire sauce, and cheese. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Thus began my love of food cooked in pouch form. (Please see: Samosas, Empanadas, Tamales, Stuffed Potatoes, Calzones, et al.)

Well, this meal is not that. We're not 11 anymore, and we're not in Alabama burning lots of calories climbing rocks and canoeing anymore, so we need a slightly less calorie-dense selection for our average work-from-home New York City Wednesday night. Hence, salmon and veggies. I'm adding MORE veggies, because it's ME, and I'm adding more spice (coriander and pepper) than is called for, because, again, HELLO, look who is typing this.

Here we go:

Salmon Fillet en Papillote with Julienned Vegetables

Food Network "Good Eats," courtesy of Alton Brown

Ingredients (which we double, since we're making 2 pouches):

1/3 cup julienned fennel bulb

1/3 cup julienned leeks, white part only

1/3 cup julienned carrots

1/3 cup julienned snow peas

1 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1/8 teaspoon whole coriander seed, ground fine

1 (8-ounce) salmon fillet, pin bones removed

1 orange cut into wedges with white, pithy membrane removed

1 tablespoon dry vermouth

Some modifications on my part: Obviously, I'm using more spice and less salt, because that's my M.O. Also, we don't have vermouth. I'll be using a little white wine (vermouth is, after all, just fortified wine with spices, so it must be sort of close, right?). Lastly, we did BUY snowpeas with this batch of groceries, but we are not USING them here. We'll probably eat them with hummus.

Now, Alton says to:

Take a 15 by 36-inch piece of parchment paper and fold in 1/2 like a book. Draw
a large 1/2 heart on paper with fold of paper being the center of the heart. Cut
out heart and open. Lay fennel, leeks, carrots, and snow peas on parchment in
center to 1 side of fold. Mix together salt, pepper, and ground coriander.
Sprinkle vegetables with 1/2 of salt, pepper, and coriander. Lay salmon on top
of vegetables and season with remaining salt, pepper and coriander. Top with the
orange wedges and sprinkle with vermouth. Fold other side of heart over fish and
starting at top of heart shape, fold up both edges of parchment, overlapping
folds as you move along. Once you reach the end tip, twist several times to
secure tightly. Place on microwave safe plate and cook for 4 minutes, on high in
microwave, or until fish reaches 131 degrees. Open parchment carefully and serve
for a complete meal.

I disagree that this is a complete meal. We're adding some couscous, because we still have a bunch in the pantry. Also, I shan't be using the microwave, since it would be annoying to do ONE, then the OTHER. We're doing it in the oven at 425 for 12ish minutes.

Let's get started!

First, let's admire all the produce:

Green, lush, and DIRTY. WHY IS IT SO DIRTY? Oh yeah, it's organic. I didn't actually order organic; they apparently ran out of non-organic because everyone's trying to save money. (In that vein, I would like to point out that I'm using U.S. farm raised salmon, when I'd really prefer to use wild due to its superior muscle tone and protein-to-fat ration. BUT IT'S TOO PRICEY, DAMMIT.) (And I have no idea which one has more mercury vs. which one has more amino acids, but I do feel that, often, we're told to do one this for the Earth and a totally different thing for our longevity. It DOESN'T. MAKE. SENSE.)

Ahem hem. Also, these oranges look like they were kidnapped from their tree home a little early. They're pretty green. Check them out when compared to green and orange produce. Which one do YOU think they more closely resemble:

Mmmmm they actually taste great! Better than they should, by rights, being July oranges and all. I'm still a little skeptical about their use in this dish, but Mr. Brown is the one making lots of money off telling people how to cook, so...

As far as julienned vegetables are concerned... well... my primary association with julienned anything is Aladdin. And it looked pretty easy in that, but that guy had some kind of magical chopper he was trying to pawn off on his audience, so... I'm thinking I might have to watch my fingers using an actual knife, and that it might take a little longer than 2 seconds of animation cels. A few notes on these vegetables:

Now, I love leeks even more than I love the Scrubs musical episode, but leeks are DIRTY. They are ~~a naughty, evil girl, and she must be punished~~ ground-growing veggies related to onions, so you will find silt and dirt caked into all their tiny crevices. (Sorry. Watched Monty Python & the Holy Grail the other day.) So make sure to rinse, rinse, rinse! And don't put them with the other veggies when julienned, just in case you need to re-rinse. You don't want that grit ending up everywhere.

As far as fennel, the closest contact I've had with a fennel bulb is watching the cooks at Aquavit chop them while engaging in thinly-veiled sexual harassment. Ah, the restaurant industry. I miss it. No, wait...

So, here we go. It's pouch assembling time!

Remember how I said I was bad at Arts & Crafts? Well, I'm also bad a Physics, Geometry, and Basic Common Sense. Here's what I ended up with on my first pouch cut:

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ONE PIECE, ALI.
Okay, abandoning the heart shape for sort of a huge... pill shape. Yeah. Anyway, put on your vegetables,and as Alton (my new best friend) repeatedly says on the TV version of this recipe, "Architecture matters!" In other words, don't, you know, build it like this:

I.M. Pei, God of Architecture, not of Architectural Cuisine

Here we have our assembled product:

Follow the folding instructions, then let's pop 'em in the oven at 425 for 12 minutes.

We will return after the following PSA from our feline sous chef:

Sometimez paper towelz haz to be sacrificed to bunny-kick-evisceration godz.

Ta da!

And now, a roundup that I'm going to try to include from now on.

Favorite things about this dish: Cleanup? Zero. Cleanup consists only of rinsing off or sticking into the dishwasher a couple of knives and cutting boards. THAT'S IT. Also, extra points for tastiness.

Least favorite things about this dish: "Julienned" must be code for "this sucks." Also, you SAW that I said I HALVED the salt. Well... I DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG. The vegetables were SO salty I couldn't even eat them! What happened?! Thoughts??

Surprising thing about this dish: The oranges? Were a great touch. I was NOT expecting that.

New skill learned: Cooking in a pouch. 'Nuff said.

Ali's Kitchen: Southeast Asian Poach-o-rama

2008-07-06T16:04:00.000-04:00

So, I was bored of Googling and otherwise searching online for a recipe that fit the particular ingredient I felt like cooking. The solution: A cookbook? NO, you crazy person - that's NEXT time. When in doubt, grope around in the dark and make one up by yourself! This is not to say that I didn't have help. I used Courtney as a frequent sounding board, and she IM'd me some recipe links that backed up ideas that I already had in mind, but wasn't sure about, flavor-matching-wise.

I started off knowing I wanted to base something around the flavor of coriander (the seed, its leaf - cilantro) and the sensation of creaminess. I knew K would want poultry. I Googled around for goat milk-this or buttermilk-that, but all I came up with were fried chicken recipes. THAT's when it hit me to try my OWN concoction, and THAT's when it hit me to try coconut milk. If something (coriander) corresponds well with something as succulent as lamb, then it must match up well with coconut milk, right?

So now you know my train of thought. Here are the fruits of my (and Courtney's) labor:

Coconut Milk-Poached Chicken Breasts* with Couscous**

Ingredients:

Chicken
13.5 oz. Lite Coconut Milk

1 medium to large shallot, diced

2 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp ground cardamom

1/4 tsp saffron powder, or 3 saffron threads

1/4 tsp white pepper

A "shake" of garlic powder

Salt to taste

Lemon zest to taste

3-4 small skinless, boneless chicken breasts (about 1 1/2 lbs.)

3/4 to 1 cup low fat chicken broth

2 tsp (or more) ground coriander

Couscous
Prepackaged couscous
Chicken broth to substitute for water
Pine nuts

* This creates a very mild recipe - much more so than I had intended. Next time we make this, I'll try 1 Tb coriander, more cardamom, a dash more saffron, and definitely more pepper. At least twice what I used here.

** I just happened to have these around. You don't need them; I just like 'em in couscous.

We start off with something very handy for those cooking for 1 or 2 people: Individually packaged chicken breasts. Great for the small household, not so great for the environment.

(It's a lot of plastic, when you think about it.)

Here we go:

Dice your shallots up and toss 'em into the coconut milk. Measure out your spices and swirl together until it's a nice, homogenized mixture. Don't worry if the saffron doesn't release its telltale yellow hue throughout the liquid yet; it will when it heats up.

I was planning to broil this, until Courtney helped me realize that poaching in coconut milk would NOT be a travesty, so I actually marinated the chicken in the liquid for two hours. I have no idea if this makes any difference. I think we made the right decision. To poach (for quicker cooking), slice the chicken breasts into approximately 2-inch chunks. See?

Like zees.

Get the liquid boiling - and - note to self: COCONUT MILK BOILS REALLY, REALLY QUICKLY IN A LE CREUSET. CAREFUL NEXT TIME. Add chicken broth into the boiling liquid, bring back to a boil, and immerse the chicken. I don't really know the first thing about proper poaching, but I kept the cover off, mostly. It didn't end up cooking down so much, because this is a fairly quick cooking method.

During the 7-10 minutes of poaching, cook your couscous like a real American - in the microwave. If you want something a little salty to balance out the coconut milk chicken, substitute the normal water for your extra chicken broth!

Et puis, voilà!

Le yum yum

Feedback from the diners was as follows:

Me: Yum. Could be spicier, but yum. And I finally managed not to over- or under-cook poultry. It's a true miracle.

K: OMG. This is the best meal you've made in, like... maybe ever. You could open a restaurant based on this meal.

(He's biased, but still. It counts a little, right?)

Tarot: WUT U MEAN I NO CAN HAS CHIKEN BECUZ UV ONION? SMELLS GUD. WANT! WAAAANT! DEATH STARE!

Ali's Kitchen: Rosemary Pork Chops and "Ratatouille"

2008-06-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

Hello, culinary swashbucklers! We meet again. Let's see what we're dealing with this week.

The problem: You went on vacation and threw out most of the contents of your fridge beforehand. You are left with: Some frozen pork chops; a few lemons; huge bunches of rosemary and thyme (from the Cornish hen) (now essentially dried); and some fingerling potatoes that are going to sprout soon. And garlic and olive oil. There's always garlic and olive oil around these here parts.

The solution: A quick search on Epicurious! This particular search should yield something along the lines of:

Rosemary Pork Chops
(Which is entirely comprised of the following:)
3 garlic cloves
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped rosemary*
3 tablespoons olive oil**
4 (1/2-inch-thick) bone-in rib pork chops (1 1/2 pounds)
Accompaniment: lemon wedges

* I didn't keep track of how much rosemary I used. I have a little set of glass mixing bowls and filled the one that looks like... oh... about an eighth of a cup? More? I don't know. Go wild! Also, we're adding some thyme, simply because we have so damn much.
** I used about 2 Tbsp, max. It was more than enough, as usual.

This recipe also includes the helpful hint: "Rosemary and garlic give these succulent pork chops Mediterranean flair." As far as a side dish, what's more Mediterranean (a.k.a. Greek) than cucumbers? Except cucumbers suck, as far as I'm concerned, so we're going with some simple zucchini (sort of like a cucumber) sauteed with pignoles. Hey, Italy's on the Mediterranean. So go buy some zucchini and pine nuts! Here we go:

Crank that broiler up, and don't forget to pre-heat the broiler PAN as well. If you're like me and have been banned from using a grill by persons who shall remain nameless, then you're looking at a lot of broiling this summer. Awesome. Nothing says summer like a 500+ degree kitchen.

While the broiler's heating, remember to thaw your pork and get it to approximately room temperature so it cooks evenly. We're using boneless pork chops here, so I'm guessing the cook time will be shorter than that stated in the recipe. THAT time is 4 minutes per side, plus 8 minutes' worth "sitting time," so we'll eyeball it. The last thing we want, after all, is trichina worms.

During this time you can:
* "Mince and mash the garlic to a paste with a pinch of salt, then stir together with rosemary, oil, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Rub mixture all over chops," as the Epicures have it. Deal with it, Ali: You're going to have stinky fingers after this one. Anyway, it'll be worth it. Look at 'em:

Looks tasty, no?

The mixture isn't so much "paste-" like, but sue me, because I don't have a mortar. Anyway, there's no pleasing everyone here. Look at all that garlic: I know a certain sous chef who's NOT going to be happy about this...

No fair. I no can has garlik.

* Chop up your zucchini. Start by slicing lengthwise, then choppy chop chop all the way down the stalk.

Watch your little fingers!

* Gaze at the heirloom tomatoes in your fridge and wonder: a) if they're coated with salmonella, and b) if they'd taste good as a sort-of-ratatouille with the zucchini. Decide: Probably Not, and Probably, respectively. OMG! You are suddenly making a sort-of-ratatouille thing!

Zucchini + Tomatoes = Who's excited?!

Even though they're a little mealy from being in the fridge for almost a week (mealy is better than fruit flies welcoming us home from Vegas), the tomatoes smell flavorful and look preeetty. See?

I can feel a canker sore forming just from LOOKING at this many tomatoes
* Get EXTRA lazy and steam your potatoes so you don't have to Google how long to roast fingerling potatoes at broiler heat. Start boiling the water now, and remember to scrub off the potatoes because they grow in the GROUND, PEOPLE. And while there may be lots of minerals in soil, it feels... icky between one's teeth, non?

* Measure out some pignoles. Don't go overboard - you just want enough to add some rich flavor to the otherwise plain sauteed zucchini and tomatoes. If you're like me, sautee the pignoles a little before you toss the zucchini (at M-H heat), then tomatoes, into the pan. Because, if you're like me, you don't understand the laws of physics, and are oblivious of the fact that the pine nuts are small enough to fall through and beneath the veggies, and therefore still get nice and toasted. Therefore, if you're like me, you'll end up with some overcooked pine nuts. Occasionally stir your zucchini, then when it's about halfway done, add the tomatoes. Don't cover, or it will get soggy!

* Ponder the irony of e. coli and salmonella being found overwhelmingly in "healthy" foods like spinach and tomatoes, while the beef industry has somehow managed not to kill anyone with those particular pathogens in the recent past. Also ponder the law of averages and likelihoods, and wonder if you should cook the pork extra hot, because, doesn't it just seem like time for meat to get on the bandwagon?

* Quick interlude: You know that car commercial that uses the St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V? ("We few, we happy few, we band of brothers," etc.) My husband just correctly identified it as the St. Crispin's Day speech. My husband. Wut??? (Hot.) (Not hot: When my husband leaves his plate on the table later and jumps on the phone with his father when I'm cleaning up. Then, when I ask him to bring his plate to the dishwasher, leaves it on the counter without even rinsing it. Bad boy.)

Time for the Main Event.
Pop those four succulent pork chops in the broiler. Let's try four minutes on each side... Okay, not quite enough. Let's try two more minutes on the first side...

Oh, and don't do what I did: Almost burn yourself to death while flipping the chops over a second time (weren't done enough to bring out and cool), then putting the grill pan in semi-sideways, at which point it slipped to the bottom of the broiler. Then I very intelligently plopped my oven mitt-clad hand in to grab it, realizing that the thumb side VERY NEARLY made contact with the blue-hot flames. Whoever thinks a TINY GRILL is more dangerous than a RAGING HOT BROILER is absolutely deluding themselves. But don't even get me started on that...

Here we are, the final result:

Oddly monochromatic, yes?

(Keep in mind the meat portion won't be as large as it looks here - pork chops are surrounded by a thin ring of fat, and usually one fatty end. Depending on your tastes, may not end up in your belly. Between me, Tarot and K, we didn't manage to finish both of mine here. It's tough cooking for two when you're really honest about whether or not you'll actually end up eating it for leftovers.)

The Result, and some Final Notes.

* Rosemary (and Thyme) Pork Chops: Oops. I overcooked it. As usual. I was deceived by the "pink" left in it when I was SUPPOSED to take it out. Otherwise, YUM! Tastes almost lemony, which I guess must be the rosemary, as I'm not using my decorative lemon slices.

* "Ratatouille" Thing: Pretty good. Should have started it a little later (started it a few minutes before putting the pork in the broiler). Next time I make this I will: a) Use Feta or Parmesan instead of pignoles - should sauce it up a little! b) Not use so many tomatoes - they masked the flavor of the zucchini. c) Make this dish when I have some onions lying around. THAT would be yummy!

* Potatoes: What's not to like about potatoes? I didn't even pay attention to how long they steamed. I don't think you can really over-steam potatoes. At least, not in MY kitchen you can't!

Thus ends another mostly successful foray into the culinary arts. Next time... well, who knows? Possibly Turkish lamb kabobs! Mmm!

Post-Evening-Snack Note: Sprinkling some Parmesan on the "ratatouille" really helped. Zing!

Ali's Kitchen: Spice-Roasted Cornish Hens with [abridged] Spring Garlic Jus... another really long post

2008-06-08T20:47:00.001-04:00

This evening's recipe includes one of my favorite ingredients: Cornish hens. I love to cook them. It's like cooking a less-intimidating version of a real hen. Our recipe also calls for over ten herbs and spices - another plus in my book. This meal goes well with a simple green salad and some unadorned Israeli couscous (which is not, technically couscous, but pasta).

Here's the ingredient list for our main dish, courtesy of the New York Times:

1 tablespoon thyme leaves
1 tablespoon rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 bird’s eye chili pepper, chopped (optional)
1 teaspoon mustard seeds
1 teaspoon fenugreek seeds
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon mild curry powder
1/2 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 Cornish hens (about 1 1/2 pounds each), halved
1 cup olive oil
3 spring garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 small spring onions or scallions, finely chopped
2/3 cup dry white wine
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce.

'Member me mentioning that I LOVE SPICES?

From saffron to lavender to coriander to plain old poultry seasoning mix, it's in my cupboard. You know what's not in there? Fenugreek. You know the only time I've ever even HEARD of fenugreek? Reading new moms blogging about breastfeeding. But I had never, ever come across a recipe that called for fenugreek until the New York Times ran ours. I was not able to find any fenugreek seeds in a timely manner, so our recipe will proceed without them. Ditto with the bird's eye chili pepper (whatever that is), although it's optional anyhow. My other difference from the paper's recipe: We have two whole hens already frozen (now thawed), so I will be doing the splitting myself, Blog help me.

Let's start with the first sentence of the recipe itself:

1. In a spice grinder,

Okay. In a what, now? What makes you think I have a spice grinder? Ironically, this recipe was published in the same NYT Dining & Wine section as THIS article on ridiculous ingredients or instructions that stop some cooks from using a recipe altogether. Is this irony intentional, or am I merely a twenty-something in a small apartment, and therefore not the target of the NYT Dining & Wine folk? Because at this point, we're supposed to have fenugreek AND a spice grinder. Oh well. Moving on... I'm going to use a coffee grinder, and assume that that will work just fine.

Here's where your experience may differ: You may find that your coffee grinder is NOT coated with something your husband ground up in it about a year ago, and NEVER CLEANED OUT. You may have noticed this earlier had you not gotten so lazy about using freshly ground coffee beans. Lose 20 minutes cleaning (above pic obviously taken afterward), then wondering if you will electrocute yourself when you plug it in and try to run it, because... it's electric? And you just cleaned it with water? Dry as thoroughly as you can (also, you are now out of paper towels and have gone to Q-Tips to get into the crevices), but obsess about this electrocution business, because there's still a little condensation on the cap of the grinder.
So, the coffee grinder is clean AFTER 20 MINUTES, and the herbs/spices are assembled. We're coming up to my favorite part of this recipe: No chopping (or, light chopping; some chopping for onions later). I doubled the herbs/spices after I accidentally put in a tablespoon of mustard seeds instead of a teaspoon. You know I like over-seasoning things anyway, so, WIN! Now, put the mixture of herbs in the coffee grinder, or whatever you're using, plug it in hoping that the soles of your flip-flops are rubber, and grind -

Success! You are not dead or in cardiac arrest from electrocution, and you have a "coarse powder" of herbs and spices! More WIN!

SO. Hen-splitting time. It's time to deal with the fact that this used to be a relatively cute, fluffy animal, and split the ribcages from front to back. Also, big knives + slippery chicken skin = heightened risk of chopped fingertips. Gah. (Also, I'm pretty sure this is not the knife I'm supposed to use.) Here we go:

Yet MORE win! No fingertips missing, and you now have four halves of Cornish hen! Just so you know, the most unsettling part is the sound of cracking bones. Like a... well, like a set of tiny cracking ribcages, really.

Rub the spice mixture on the hen halves, then pour on olive oil, "turning to coat." I'm using 1/2 a cup instead of a full cup, as that's all that's left in my kitchen! Unsurprisingly, it is more than enough to coat the birdies. Now cover up, pop in the fridge, and... do something else for three or four hours. My personal choice is to take a shower. It's almost 100 degrees out today, and I left the apartment for all of ten minutes, leaving me pretty much drenched. This is one of the few days in my personal experience that can be unequivocally described as "oppressively hot."

Of course, showering only takes 10 minutes, 30 if you count makeup and hairdrying as part and parcel of a "shower." So... You put the hens in the fridge to marinate at 3:00. What with one thing and another, an hour and a half passed [name that awesome book/movie (although this line says "three years" instead of "an hour and a half," and isn't in the movie)]. Now you still have at least another hour and half to go. Why don't we go ahead and make the basting sauce a little early? Why not, right? Because the onions might become soggy in the soy sauce, you say? Well, forget you; they'll get soggy when they roast. So there. Stop being so difficult.

I could not find spring garlic, which is essentially garlic greens, according to Whole Foods' website. I will be using just a bit of garlic powder, hoping that will make up for the difference. Whatever. Here's a picture of an allium plant from the park near me to distract you: (Allium is the onion and garlic genus.)

I DO have scallions. This recipe only calls for two, so make sure to use the rest of the bunch in a salad for later: A wasted scallion is a tragedy.

So here we have our basting sauce:

I have a sneaking suspiscion that I was supposed to chop the scallions more finely, but, again, whatever. (Can you tell that heat makes me apathetic and lethargic?) However, I am happy to report that, while back in the kitchen slicing the scallions, my olfactory senses played host to a wonderful aroma of Indian/Moroccan/Italian spices. Heavenly.

Time to take the hens out of the fridge and pre-heat the oven! The actual cooking won't take too long, so you may want to go ahead and cook your couscous now (it will stay hot) if you're like me and can't so much "multi-task" as "burn everything." Here we go!

I don't know about Courtney's neck of the woods, but here in NYC, a HUGE downpour of atmosphere-cooling rain just started right on cue with my cranking up the oven to 400 degrees. Merciful. So, the oven is heating and the hens are waiting...

As you can see, our sous-chef takes exception to the use of so many non-feline-friendly spices, rendering him ineligible to sample this dish. He is not shy of demonstrating his displeasure:

While the hens are cooking, you shouldn't ignore any strange burning smells. It may be the bottom layer of your couscous burning. Because you can't cook rice-like dishes without burning them, as previously stated, about 85% of the time.

After 25 minutes (we're cooking some chicken breasts along with the hens, for eatin' later this week) (also, our hens are slightly larger than the recipe calls for) of cooking the hens in the top third of the oven, start basting! Before you baste for the first time, eyeball the juices coming out of the hens to see if they're starting to turn clear-ish. They ought to, by this point. If you're super lucky, you may even burn your thumb while cutting into the crease between the thigh and the body to check the juices, just like ME! Twice! (For real. 400 degree steel on the skin? OUCH.)

The paper's recipe calls for two bastings during a seven minute period, but, again, just eyeball it. When it looks done, take the hen out of the oven and let it sit for about 10 minutes. Mine are taking a little longer, by that timing, probably because of the size and extra meat in the stove. Correction: Make that a LOT longer. So far, I put the hens and chicken breasts (in different pans) in for 25 minutes; then 5 minutes. Then I took the chicken breasts out, mostly done. I set the timer for another 5 minutes. I just checked them again. Still not done. This leads me to conclude that Cornish Hen Is Tricky. Courtney will be familiar with this particular theorem, as she witnessed a similar timing debacle on Easter weekend. I'm beginning to suspect that my oven runs cooler than it purports to... and that it's a good thing that Kenny ordered Chinese food for himself tonight. So, we're waiting... we're waiting...

We're filing our nails... we're waiting...

And, FINALLY, WE'RE DONE!

(I think a good way to eyeball this is to let the spices and onions and stuff get nice and browned before you cut into the thigh to check the doneness for the first time.) (Also, I'd like to point out that the flash renders the change in color almost indecipherable. In real life, these are a nice, toasty brown.)

Let's dig in! Most important taste revelation: I'll admit that I was skeptic about a basting sauce that combined Worsterchire sauce and soy sauce. I mean, who does that??? Well, smart people, apparently, because it smells YUMMY. Which is fitting, this being the Yum Yum Cooking Club, and all.

All in all, I solidly recommend this recipe, if you have time and a patient cooking/dining partner! And a sous-chef who won't give you the stink eye when he's not allowed to sample.

Courtney: Tacos de Pescado

2008-06-06T14:49:00.036-04:00

You love tacos. You really do. You can't understand why anyone wouldn't. You have a waning bottle of Patron, and a sous chef with sympathetic feelings and a camera. He good.

Tonight (well technically last week, but you were lazy about getting the pictures) we will be making tacos de pescado, also known as fish tacos (stop giggling, okay?). These will be relatively simple, unlike overly-decadent Tex-Mex varieties and you will need the following:

For pickled red onion and jalapeños:

1/2 a red onion (halve the whole onion lengthwise, cut thinly crosswise)

3 whole, small japapeños (sliced lengthwise into strips)

1 cup of rice vinegar (though I imagine any vinegar would do...for reasons later revealed we ended up using white wine vinegar)

3 tablespoons of fresh lime juice (I would recommend 2-3 limes)

1 tablespoon of coarse kosher salt (not recommended for direct intake without tequila + lime)

For guacamole:

2 ripe avocados (fat ones preferably, otherwise I would recommend more. In fact, historians have recently disproved that nectar and ambrosia were the food of the gods, and that instead Zeus and the rest of the Olympians actually feasted on avocados and tequila with lime.)

The other 1/2 of your red onion (diced into very small pieces or your sous chef will redo the work for you)

2 cloves of garlic (minced)

2 limes

fresh cilantro chopped (this, as well as most things I do not really measure. I add what feels right. So go ahead, do what FEELS right. I'm adamant fresh cilantro be used. Fo' real.)

salt and pepper to taste

For fish:

1 cup of buttermilk

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1 1/2 tablespoons hot pepper sauce (be careful of this around small children, pets and your orally-fixated sous chef)

1 1/2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt (divided)

1 lime

1 pound tilapia fillets (because it was on sale, but you may also use halibut, sea bass, striped bass) (cut into 1/2 inch strips)

Additional:

2 tomatoes (diced)

a package of little corn tortillas (ours had 12 inside and that was beyond plenty)

1 cup of self-rising flour (logically I would assume this means flour WITH yeast. We purchased some yeast on the side, but forgot to use it. Oops.)

Vegetable oil for frying

tequila (optional)

rum (optional)

Looza nectars (such as Banana, Passion Fruit, Mango, or all three) (optional)

clothing (VERY optional)

Pickled Onions and Jalapeños come first because they have to pickle:

DO:
Place onion and jalapeños in a heatproof medium-sized bowl.
Mix vinegar and salt in a small saucepan.
Cut your limes in quarters and juice those bitches to join their friends in the saucepan.
Bring your mixture to a boil, stirring until the salt dissolves. (This all should happen pretty quickly).
Pour over onions and jalapeños.
Let stand at room temperature at least 1 hour.
(If you'd like to make in advance, cover and refrigerate).
Drink a mixture of rum and nectar over ice while you cook.

DON'T:
Throw vinegar all over the kitchen and yourself accidentally.
Pout over spilled vinegar.

After you've showered for the second time and smell vinegar free AND have gotten over wasting the remainder of the rice vinegar on polishing the floor (and substitute it with white wine vinegar), it's time to get to mixing together your tilapia!

Tilapia town:

Mix buttermilk, cilantro, pepper sauce, and 1 teaspoon of salt in a large bowl. Juice your lime into there in the same fashion as before. Add fish fillets; toss. Cover and chill at least an hour.

INTERMISSION!!

You have an hour now. Your tilapia's a-brewin'; your onions and jalapeños are stewing in their juices. What are two chefs to do??

FIRST:
Take shots! Open wide. Insert tequila.

Get it all in there!

I recommend a lime, not an avocado.

SECOND:

So now you've done a shot, but there is still so much time left to squander. While you do a quick perusal of your closet, your sous chef should take the time to search for stripper-esque music on Pandora. Then, be sure to give your sous chef a strip show on your coffee table in a spur of the moment school girl outfit to thank him for all his hard work.

DO:
Brag that the skirt you are dancing in was purchased in high school.
Rock out in your silver pumps with red argyle heart socks on.
Have fun and put on red lipstick.
Give your sous chef a perma-grin.

DON'T:
Feel it necessary to mention that the skirt doesn't really fit you that well (the point is you can get it on and it's still below your belly button).
Forget to give you sous chef the $10-spot you owe him for your share of the supplies.

Knock over your drink. (I know, again??)

OK, approximately an hour should have gone by during all these shenanigans. You should probably return to making dinner now. What are you doing? Stop that! Well...okay...

Tilapia: the sequel:

Whisk flour and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoon of salt in a medium-sized bowl. Add enough oil to a large skillet to reach the depth of 1 inch. Heat the oil until thermometer registers 350˚F. (Your sous chef is doing this while you prepare the guacamole, so you're not really sure how long he waited for the oil to heat. Also, you don't have a thermometer as far as you can remember...hell, you don't even have a full set of measuring cups...later your sous chef informs you he's not very good at frying things. Realize you don't really care. You have rum in your non-stirring hand and it all smells awesome anyway.) Working in batches, remove fish from marinade and dredge in flour. Carefully add fish to skillet, cover partially, and fry until golden brown, turning occasionally, about 4 minutes. Transfer to paper towel lined baking sheet to drain.

Guacamole, mi amore:

So you've given your sous chef the task of frying fish because you LOVE making guacamole. I like to get the garlic chopping out of the way first. Slice each clove thinly and then let your knife walk all over those little slivers. Your knife was made for walking. I promise. Mince finely and toss into yet another medium-sized bowl (you apparently have an ARMY of these, or like me keep washing out the same 2).

Dice your remaining red onion 1/2 and throw in.

Now it's time to have your way with the avocados. Slice around the pit with your knife in a circular motion. Take each half with one hand, twist and pull apart. Marvel at how good you are at picking out avocados. Repeat with second avocado. Now for the pit.
Carefully hack your chef knife into the pit so it's in solidly, twist your knife like deadly little Miho from Sin City and pull. Discard into the trash. Repeat.

Slice your avocado halves lengthwise and crosswise into the shell so you have a checkerboard pattern when you are done. Think about Tetris for a minute as you push the avocado out of the shell from the bottom into the bowl. Reverse Tetris.

When you have all that goodness in the bowl (feel free to use a spoon to help you) coarse chop your cilantro (or more finely according to preference) and juice those limes. Grind in some pepper (I used regular ground black pepper and also fresh ground mix of many colored peppercorns) and salt to taste.

Mash with a fork, or your favorite mashing utensil. Don't be afraid to taste as you go, adding lime, salt, and pepper as needed. Take your time. Your sous chef has all that fish to make (because you are doing this while he is slaving over the stove).

I prefer my guacamole to have a lot of avocado chunks in it, instead of being really smooth like store-bought brands. Avocado is really amazing, but once I put it in my hair because I heard that was supposed to be a good thing to do. It really wasn't. My hair felt really dried out and I got slightly panicked. Technically, it makes no sense to me. Avocado oil? How was that missing from this equation? It seemed like a model avocado...

Anyway, quickly pop your tortillas into the microwave, separated by sheets of paper towels. Zap them for 30 seconds.

Voila! You are finito! Now you can take it directly to the mouth and taste it, much like this instruction manual for eating ranbutans. Following this recipe will make more than plenty for two people.

Ali's Kitchen: Sauted Soft Shell Crabs

2008-06-02T21:22:00.006-04:00

Welcome back, culinary swashbucklers! (I don’t know where I got that, but I’m sticking with it.) Before we get started, two announcements: First, we have an exciting new addition to the kitchen, though we won’t be using it tonight:

Say hello to Mister Toaster! (Again, just like Mr. Grilly, we're really imaginative around here.)

Second, when getting ready to cook, I discovered that our trash bag was… leaking. But I reeeally didn’t feel like cleaning and mopping and whatnot before cooking a whole meal, sooo…. Procrastination Powers Activate! Form of: A paper towel! And flip-flops!

Tonight we’re having salad, (microwaved) baked potatoes, and... drum roll please… the fantabulous, succulent, in-season wonder that is SOFT SHELL CRAB.

It’s important to remember the following commandments when cooking crab:
1. Thou shall not mask the natural flavors of the meat with too many seasonings or spices, lest ye completely defeat the purpose of making crab.
2. Thou shall not overcook the crab, thus rendering its fabulous texture rough and chewy.
3. Thou shall avoid frozen crab at all costs, NAY, UPON PAIN OF DEATH… or if not death, then at least disappointment.Those are pretty much the basics. Go for fresh crab, don’t bombard it with all sorts of flavoring, and for the love of Blog, don’t overcook it. With that in mind, let’s get started with our materials:

First things first: The crab.

Sorry, little crabbies. You were too tasty to live.

Second things second: All you need is some olive oil or butter (or substitute); some flour (if sautéing); and some salt and pepper. You can also serve this with lemon wedges if you have lemons around (we don’t), and if you like lemon with your seafood (I don’t). Also have on hand: a large plate; and a large frying pan or roasting pan, depending on if you want to sauté or roast/broil. FYI, we’re working with 8 rather small crabs. We’re using an amalgam of recipes ranging from The Joy of Cooking to Epicurious to some random website.

Before you get rolling, go ahead and throw together your side dishes. Hopefully you’ve chosen simple ones that can be prepared ahead of time, or you have a sous-chef with opposable thumbs, unlike some of us:

Wut? Am prolly smarter than u, human.

… The point being that you’ll want your full attention for the crab, so as not to violate the third Crab Commandment. That being said, the actual cooking bit is relatively easy. (Side note: Since we’re having potatoes, I went for our sour cream, only to discover it was no longer sour cream, to be precise, but something… blue.)

To sauté: Get the pan nice and hot; sprinkle crabs with salt and pepper to taste; sprinkle some flour onto the large plate and coat the crabs well; and sauté in the pan with a little oil/butter/substitute until golden brown. Traditional recipes will tell you about 4-6 minutes per side:

According to them thar recipes, you should get ‘em good and red, and firm. To roast/broil, preheat the broiler or set the oven to 500 ̊, brush the crabs on each side with melted butter, and sprinkle with salt & pepper (not so much with the flour for this one), and cook without turning for about 10 minutes (according to The Joy of Cooking, hereafter, TJoC).

We’ll sauté, since it’s more fun to photograph. Here we go:

Your crabs are ready to go! They’ve been sprinkled and floured and your butter, etc., is melting in the frying pan. Let’s pop those babies on!

This part is pretty much your basic eye-it-as-it-goes. After 3-4 minutes on the first side, we flip them. After 4 minutes on the second side, we remove them from the pan, and straight to the plates, where the potatoes, they will freely admit, were starting to feel lonely. Now let’s see how this all came together…

As you can see, the claws turned red almost instantly! To keep the crab from sticking to the pan, but still keep the pan hot enough, I added small dabs of “butter” as we went along, tossing the crab about like a pancake. This worked well, and I still ended up with a minimal amount of oily product.I had NO idea how to eat soft shell crab. Google revealed that I was in good company. Apparently, you’re supposed to eat the WHOLE THING. ... Which will look approximately like this:

Here are the Discoveries I had upon eating:
1) WHY DID I NOT FOLLOW MY LOBSTER RULE?! Said rule: This thing just came from salt water, so it doesn’t need added salt. WHY? WHYYYY??? I added just a bit of salt, and lo, the crab was waaaay too salty. This was relatively easily remedied by peeling off the body shell, but I would have liked the whole “whole crab” experience.
2) … Or maybe I wouldn’t have liked that. I found crunching on the shells to be reminiscent of, well, descriptions of cannibalism in various novels. And don’t get me started on eating that bluish-green part in the middle.
3) The cleanup for this meal is going to be really, really easy.

In short, this was a fun experiment, but I think I’ll stick to steaming fully grown and shell-hardened blue crabs in future. Though I’m pretty sure we had at least ONE fan in the house:

nom nom nom

Ali's Kitchen: Hilarity Ensues While Grilling Chicken

2008-06-02T20:00:00.004-04:00

Hi. We got some new patio furniture.

In New York City, a porch is what's known as a "Big Deal" because it can function as sort of an "Extra Room" and therefore as "Bragging Rights." Ergo, we were Terribly Excited about our Big Deal Extra Room's New Look. So excited that we got a grill. You know the kind: The baby grill that's not even as high as your shin and has about a 14" diameter? This kind of grill:

We've decided to call him Mr. Grilly, because we're creative like that. For Mr. Grilly's inaugural cookout, we selected some nice Perdue skinless boneless chicken breasts and what turned out to be the Best Barbecue Sauce Ever (if you like the non-spicy kind and tend to break out in hives when you're around anything less mild than mole sauce):

Keep in mind, I'm not what you'd call a BBQ expert, though I pretend to be around Northerners who don't know any better (ha HA - serves them right for someone actually asking me if Georgians wear shoes during the summer, and for everyone being astounded that I don't have an accent).

Now, this is where everything went wrong: sometime between marinating the chicken and putting a match to the charcoal in the grill. It took us THREE HOURS and very near a spontaneous divorce to get the damn thing lit. I'm still not sure what we were doing wrong, but sometime during the evening, we gave up and ordered pizza.

Then, as I was reading about Henry VIII's children and waiting for the very late pizza, I sniffed the air and realized ruefully that SOMEONE in our building was indeed grilling successfully. Then I sniffed again. And again. And had a hunch! And went out to our ~~porch~~ extra room! And the coals! They were red! And hot! And the chicken! I put it on!! And grilled it!!

And then I, personally, ate pizza, because damn, it was enough with the chicken already.

K, however, had the chicken, as did our sous-chef, and the general consensus was:

(Please note sous-chef perched in the corner, supervising dinner.)

I have no idea what we were doing wrong with lighting the grill, because last night we grilled again (turkey hot dogs) and all went without incident. I just don't know.

**********************************************************

I waited to post this one after at least a solid week of grilling to add Things I Have Learned:

1) I now know what one needs to do on a dinky little grill like this one: Mix it up about 60/40 Matchlight and Traditional charcoal, stack in a vague pyramid (thanks to Courtney), and light from the bottom. ALSO, it helps to take out the lower grate in this kind of grill, thereby giving you more space for more coals, and therefore more heat! Et voilà: A dinky but hot grill that can cook for at least two hours.

2) For the love of Blog, insist that your husband not light the grill without one of you cleaning the grate(s) first. Otherwise? SMOKE. STINK. WOE.

3) I now live for turkey hot dogs and turkey burgers. This could be problematic for bathing suit season.

4) While it's too cute to have a husband who's into grilling, don't be surprised if husband/boyfriend/male companion won't actually use tips you've figured out, like the take-out-the-second-grate-for-more-coal-space thing. He is a Man. He is impervious to suggestions, because he wants to be a Grill Master. Be sure to give credit where credit is due, such as an improvised habanero marinade for some chicken cutlets.

5) It's difficult to grill ground chicken burgers, as they aren't as cohesive as ground beef or ground turkey. They will drop through the spaces in the grate, thus creating much Smoke and Stink and Woe (again), and forcing you to order backup pizza (again).

More grilling escapades to come, I'm sure!

Cooking with Sheila: Easy Banh Mi!

2008-05-28T13:48:00.004-04:00

hello there readers!! this is my first post to the esteemed yumyum cooking club, so i should introduce myself. i am sheila, chef hopeful and one day culinary school attendee. for now, i am just a girl who loves cooking and HATES her kitchen. my posts will most likely tend to have an undercurrent of frustration from dealing with the constraints of my little kitchen. my last house had a dishwasher, garbage disposal, and loads of counter space and cabinets. my new house has no dishwasher, no counter space, and no room for fucking ANYTHING!!! can you blame me for being a little grumpy?? i am all about bringing a little fancy into everyday life, making some basic recipes with a twist, working with what i have in my house, being cheap, and all that.

anyway, onto the food! so essentially, banh mi is an amazing vietnamese sandwich on a baguette. it mixes crunchy and mushy, sweet and savory. just general deliciousness, on toasted bread. it features red chili paste, pork, cucumbers, basil, cilantro, and other wonderful flavors. however, it's more of a project. last night i came home ravenously hungry and needing a relatively quick fix. so here's what i did.

1) throw some olive oil in the pan, toss in a diced onion and 2 cloves of garlic. let the onion get nice and soft for a few minutes.2) put in your protein- whether that is ground turkey, ground beef, pork, chicken, etc. i used ground beef. brown it.
3) add some soy sauce, maybe 2 tbsps, some salt for flavor , and some sugar (probably a teaspoon or two).4)another of my gripes is produce. everytime i buy some produce, it almost always goes bad because i have ambitious ideas and a lazy hand. this especially applies to fresh herbs. so instead, i used some dried basil and dried cilantro. 1 tsp of each.
4)add 2-3 tbsps of hoisin sauce and mix it all up. taste it and make sure there is enough flavor on hur.5)spread red chili paste (which is at any grocery store in the asian aisle, same goes for the hoisin sauce) on a whole wheat tortilla- or basically whatever you have on hand. if you have a baguette, go wild. if you have some bread, do it. this stuff is spicy, so if you have a sensitive stomach beware. or just use sparingly.6)put some of the beef mixture in the center of your tortilla. i picked up some mixed greens in a bag and put some of those on.7)roll it up and you are done!!

i strongly recommend you make a "real" banh mi sandwich someday, but this is great in a pinch. xoxo

Ali's Kitchen: Scallops Florentine On The Fly!

2008-05-25T21:46:00.011-04:00

So you just got back from a Jeopardy! audition and you're tired, hungry, AND you just spent your order-in budget on a new skirt and blouse from Banana Republic: Now what?

I'll tell ya friggin what! Pull some stuff out of the freezer and get crackin'! Tonight we're cooking Scallops Fiorentino, with all ingredients either from the freezer or pantry: No "fresh" ingredients. Gross? Maybe. But awesome. And cheap. So EXTRA awesome.

First, let's acknowledge how you're feeling if you're cooking this kind of meal: Tired. Observe:

You're tired, and you remember you have some scallops in the freezer that you ordered in October or so, and haven't cooked yet because your husband/dining partner/self decided they didn't feel like eating scallops anytime between October and now. However, last night, the magic word "scallops" was spoken. What a lucky stroke! However, how do you spice up frozen scallops? First, see if there are any fresh herbs lying around. Since you cooked rice with tarragon and dill earlier this week, it's good odds that some of those herbs are still edible. Let's take a look:

That tarragon may LOOK frightening, but give it a sniff, and I bet you'll find that:

It's still perfectly edible! Especially with a dish involving scallops, or something else that will mask anything off-color.

Second, you've got to deal with energy levels, because, even though you're cooking with frozen food, you're still cooking, and therefore must be vigilant. Wake up! You know what will help you wake up? Your Super Fabulous Apron of Fabulousness!:

All right! Now you're all set! First things first: Since we're calling this dish "Scallops Fiorentino," we better have some spinach somewhere, since that's apparently what "Fiorentino" means, where Americans are concerned. In our case, we have some frozen, chopped spinach that's been there for at least as long as the scallops, if not longer. Here's our full arsenal:

Some icky-looking but nice-smelling tarragon; a few garlic cloves that have been around for a month or so, but are still great since garlic has antibiotic properties, and therefore keeps for a long time; linguine; scallops; and salt & pepper.

Suddenly, we're getting a divine inspiration, and we decide to coat the scallops with some sort of Parmesan cheese! Awesome! This is what was in MY fridge, but use whatever you have:

Now that we have everything assembled, I'd say start by SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY defrosting the scallops. Do this in the microwave, at defrost or at least half strength, checking at least every two minutes or so. I'm working with about a pound of good-quality sea scallops, but I'm not going to slap a time on this. Just check, and keep checking, and don't over-thaw! For God's sake! The scallops should be thawed when they separate somewhat easily with a fork. Try turning them and shaking them about if they don't want to separate after four minutes or so. Try not to tear them, but if you do, eh. They'll still taste the same, and this is a FAST dinner, not a PRETTY one.

When the scallops are thawed, get a big Tupperware or other wide container and sprinkle in a generous layer of Parmesan (or whatever). Drain the excess liquid from the thawed scallops and toss them into the Parm (or whatever) until coated on all sides. Now they can sit until needed. If you have to go elope or something else that takes a long time, pop them in the fridge; otherwise, don't bother.

At this point, boil your pasta water and, when that's boiling, plop the pasta in. During the boiling and pasta-cooking time, go ahead and slice (don't dice) your garlic, and roughly chop your tarragon. An AWESOME trick I learned from my mom is to press each garlic clove under your knife, as this makes peeling much easier. Also, since we aren't dicing (it takes too long and makes your fingers stinky), pressing a little yields extra flavor.

Heat some olive oil and butter (or cooking-friendly substitute) in a big pan. The amount depends on how many scallops you're cooking; I went with about half of the canonical amount, which gave me about 1 Tb. olive oil and 1/2 Tb. "butter." When that's heated, toss in your garlic and cook over med-high heat JUST UNTIL BROWNED. DO NOT BURN IT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. BURNT GARLIC TASTES LIKE ASS.

During all of this, if you're using frozen spinach (please, don't use canned), you can be leisurely thawing it. There's no rush on this, but it usually takes about 8 minutes, FYI. Also, when your pasta is done, drain and toss with about 1/2 or 1 Tb. olive oil to keep it from sticking together. This also helps bring in the last bit of oil that you've cut out from the scallops, without giving you a too-oily, greasy dish overall.

When your garlic is browned, toss in your "Parmesan"-coated scallops. Honestly, I never time scallops; I just eyeball them. I toss them intermittently and keep an eye out for increasing opacity. How done or rare you like your scallops is totally subjective, which also makes timing irrelevant. The spinach and pasta can be done at least five minutes before all of this if, like me, you're awful at multi-tasking in the kitchen.

Also, you may want to give your sous-chef a pat. Otherwise, he might claw down your pants:

When your spinach is done, I recommend tossing it into your pasta, especially if your spouse or dining partner is averse to green things. THAT way he/she won't be able to avoid eating green! Ha HA!

A recommended wine for scallops (and indeed much fish) is:

Quincy is a Loire Valley wine made from Sauvignon Blanc grapes, usually producing a dry, somewhat acidic wine. It usually tastes best with food, but is also an enjoyable apéritif. Also, if you pronounce is "kwin-see," I might slap you. It's like "canh-si." It's a French word. Please pronounce as such.

Et voilà, your finished product:

FYI, those aren't walnuts which I simply forgot to mention: That's what the garlic and Parmesan do when they stick together in oil at medium-high heat. Eating them is like eating a happy explosion of salt and dairy, a.k.a., the best thing imaginable.

Remember: Your sous-chef will probably want in on this freezer experiment, however, keep in mind that feline sous-chefs, like mine, can't eat garlic. Sorry, sous-chef. I'll give you some turkey later.

Halfway through the meal, realize, HOLY CRAP! WE FORGOT TO ADD ANY SALT OR PEPPER! BECAUSE WE WERE TIRED!

However, either because frozen food secretly involves extra salt, or because the "Parmesan" and "butter" we were using involves extra salt we aren't told about, no one - even our salt-crazy husband - noticed the absence! Success!

Ali's Kitchen: Broiled Lamb Chops and Basmati Rice With Sweet Onions and Summer Herbs

2008-05-21T20:16:00.022-04:00

Well, hey there, my culinary swashbucklers! Welcome to the kitchen at Chez Ali and Ken. Let's start out with the number one thing to know about our little restaurant. The Executive Chef (me) loves herbs and spices. See?

So much so, in fact, that tonight we're using: Freshly ground black pepper, sea salt, freshly ground porcini mushroom powder, ground coriander, sea salt, and fresh dill, tarragon and chervil.

The main course this evening: Broiled lamp chops! Accompanied by Epicurious.com's Basmati Rice With Sweet Onions and Summer Herbs. Lastly, we'll be having microwave-steamed asparagus (steamed in a big Gladware container, at that, because I don't care if the leaching plastic might give me cancer when I'm 85; it's just easier than pot steaming).

First, let's talk about the Basmati rice. If you're like me, you don't like rice. I KNOW. Weird. Whatever. I'm not a huge rice fan, but this particular recipe sounded interesting enough (I love Vidalias, and dill? With rice? Enough to reel me in...) that I wanted to see if it could make me actively want to eat rice. Since I don't love rice, it's of course in the back corner on the highest shelf of our tiny pantry/cabinet. While searching for the brown Basmati, I discovered the following:

1) More Bacos than I thought existed on the entire planet. Really.
2) Flower food, which I'm pretty sure is toxic to people... so... maybe don't keep it around food? Maybe?
3) Mint julep cups. Um... what? Ooooh, don't mint juleps go with lamb? Because mint and lamb??? Damn it, no brandy. Or mint. Next time, my pretty....

So, that's what we discovered setting up the kitchen for the lamb and rice dinner. Moving on. A very important thing to keep in mind: Karma is a bitch. What does this have to do with cooking lamb, you ask? Well, my friends, lamb is a Cute Cuddly Animal (CCA). If you're like me, not only are you not crazy about rice, but you also have issues with eating CCA's because you're sure it's somehow Just Wrong. To balance out this karmic risk, it's a good idea to pay homage to another, different species of CCA while you're cooking. To wit:

Otters definitely count as CCA's of the highest caliber.

Now that you've hopefully got a CCA image somewhere on your person, let's make with the cooking. First of all, you've got to consult with your sous-chef and make sure that he or she understands his/her responsibilities. Here I am explaining to my sous-chef that his responsibilities include not reaching up for a pat so that my pants are clawed down while I have raw lamb juice on my hands.

I don't know if he fully grasped the concept, but fortunately, I was wearing jeans.

Now that your sous-chef is fully informed, let's get to work. Tackle the rice dish first, since the lamb needed to come to room temperature anyway. It's a small piece of meat, so it achieves lukewarmness very quickly, but I must insist that you do this with red meat! Other things, you can get away with throwing it on the heat while still chilled. NOT RED MEAT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET YOUR RED MEAT TO ROOM TEMP! Anyway. Right. The rice.

I halved the recipe so that instead of 2 cups of sweet onion I needed less than 1. This works out nicely to half a large Vidalia. The other half of the onion is currently in the deli drawer, either destined for a salad later this week, or to grow the next great mold-based antibiotic. I'll let you know. You're meant to chop the onion, not dice, which may look a bit large, but the flavor still releases with a nice, coarse chop. This is my definition of what that looks like:

Note that I was chopping with my Little Knife, because the onion was a little spongy, and I didn't want to Decapitate My Fingers. Whatever. If it gets the job done...

Once the onion's chopped, go ahead and heat the saucepan. The recipe calls for "large," but I'm using a 2-quart, because that's all I have! It works fine. I also use "fake" butter (Smart Balance, which is better for cooking than most other non-margarine butter substitutes). Saute the onion over medium-high heat, or if your stove's like mine, medium, until it's translucent. (The onion. Not the stove.) At that point, add the rice, water and salt, in that order. I'm using less than half the salt called for (even factoring in my smaller-than-half of the recipe) and it will be more than enough. Bring the rice mixture to a boil, then cover and reduce the heat to low. If you're using white rice, cooking supposedly takes 15 more minutes. Using brown (which we are here) adds another 1/4 cup of water, and another 10 minutes (for 30 or so total from the onion).

During this time you can: Set the table; check on your husband who is sleeping and will not be eating with you because he caught your Super Cold in the middle of May; and bring the lamb to room temperature if you haven't already taken it out of the fridge. Don't worry; the rice isn't going anywhere if it finishes before the lamb is de-chilled. Honestly, I never heard of rice that can't sit on a warm stove for 20 or so minutes and not taste just the same. Especially brown rice.

This is also a fun time for a Pop Quiz. Based on Ali's Anecdotal Evidence from working in three total restaurants in her entire life, what percentage of restaurant cooks and chefs would you assume washes their hands after using the bathroom (number 1)? (And, yes, it's "washes," not "wash," because the verb is corresponding with "percentage," not "cooks and chefs," and "percentage," like "family," or any other compound noun, is still, technically singular, so bugger off.) The answer is...

About 25. Yep. About 25%. That percentage is markedly higher for servers, bussers, bartenders, managers and hostesses. The percentage is generally better for line cooks than for sous-chefs, chefs de cuisine and executive chefs. My best guess is that the non-hand-washers just think they're too important to waste the time with soap and water if they've only... you know... gone number 1. Just thought you should know. According to Ali's Anecdotal Evidence, it's true.

All right. Now that we've all passed the Pop Quiz, let's go back to the rice. Now, with rice, there are two major schools of thought: To Stir or Not To Stir. My mother always told me, "DON'T STIR IT! YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP THE LID ON! IT'S COOKING IN ITS STEAM!" The first time I cooked rice in front of K, he wanted to know, "WHY AREN'T YOU STIRRING IT? YOU'VE GOT TO STIR IT!" Now, given the fact that I've burned about 75% of the rice I've ever cooked, this time, let's go with K's mom's (because it certainly wasn't his) idea. Upon adding the previously mentioned 1/4 cup of water, stir it around to lift it off the bottom of the pan. When THAT water is gone, we stir in the fresh herbs:

The smell should be positively nutty - thank you, tarragon and dill! Chervil, you aren't really doing your part; I don't even know why you're here. You're like contestant number 5 on American Idol, and should just give up. At this point, take the rice off the heat source and keep it covered; it will be fine.

By now, the broiler should be heated (you should have lit it when the rice began to boil) and you can pop the lamb in. Keep in mind, with lamb chops, that the actual portion of meat is only as big as the red part in the middle here, under the "butter" pat:

That's about the width of... let's see... a pansy blossom. Yeah. So, bear that in mind when buying. It's not the most cost-effective meat, or even cut of lamb, and I bet this recipe would work equally well with a pork chop or veal chop. Anyway, on the lamb chop above, sprinkle sea salt (ideal for those of us who are sensitive to salt, but still want that salty kick), freshly ground black pepper, porcini powder (dried porcini from a grinder, that is) and ground coriander. Eschew the apparently canonical advice of broiling 4 1/2 to 5 minutes a side, because I like my meat not quite mooing or bleating, but at least still bleeding, and I just. don't. buy. that lamb chops need that long.

Upon popping the lamb in the broiler, zap the asparagus in the microwave for 4 minutes, which also works as a great timer. Remember to check on your sous-chef. Just as I suspected, mine's asleep:

When the asparagus dings, go flip the lamb over. Cook the asparagus for another 4 minutes, and your lamb chops will be done! (I put mine in for an extra tragic minute, and they were just a bit too done; don't go over 4 per side... maybe even 3 and 3.) Now, for Heaven's sake, let the meat sit when you take it out. Do NOT, like ~~Kenny~~ those who shall remain nameless, dive at the meat the second it's out of the oven or broiler, EVER. It has to set. Or something... Anyway, LEAVE IT ALONE!

Now, if you've followed these instructions, your finished product looks something like this:

Mmmmm, lamb chops. I wasn't sure about the mushroom powder on lamb when we started, but it adds a great gaminess to this very mild red meat. Likewise, I'm happy to report that the rice tastes wonderful! I may just add dill and tarragon to 85% of all the rice I cook from here on out. And with the rich, involved flavors of the main dish and the rice, the simple, steamed asparagus (fresh in Spring) is a good balance. I actually had this with white wine, instead of red, which I also enjoyed.

Wait a second... I think I hear...

Ah, yes. There's my sous-chef:

Someone seems to their eyes on the prize...